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October, 2024

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Clever status hacks on FB

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*Michael*
Posts: 500 - Karma: 73
Who gives a shit on the details, but basically my brother left his up, so i wanna say something clever and i'm out of ideas. so if anyone's feeling witty tonight, lets see it
Jun 29 2011 2:25AM
9 5
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.jersey
Posts: 1925 - Karma: 9
"Going to have a son!"
Jun 29 2011 2:25AM
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S.P
Posts: 207 - Karma: 26
" my grama just found my dildo, most awkward convo ever"
i did that to my bro but then he kicked the shit out of me
Jun 29 2011 2:26AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
"Gonna be a daddy! I was shocked at first, but now I couldn't be happier!"
Jun 29 2011 2:27AM
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BuSkiz
Posts: 2240 - Karma: 65
Just peed in sarahs butt!!!
Jun 29 2011 2:28AM
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Spic-N-SpaN
Posts: 2002 - Karma: 1,465
anyone up for an arousing game of penis in the butt?

thats all I got

night
Jun 29 2011 2:28AM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
I just schooned the fuck out of that girls asshole.

say that
Jun 29 2011 2:29AM
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S.P
Posts: 207 - Karma: 26
shooned?
Jun 29 2011 2:30AM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
"Just awoke drenched in sweat. What another great dream about ________ "
Jun 29 2011 2:33AM
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Bob_Loblaw
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 38
Jew jokes are offensive...Anne Frankley I don't think they are funny
Jun 29 2011 2:34AM
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S.P
Posts: 207 - Karma: 26
i see what you did there
Jun 29 2011 2:35AM
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Avifarer
Posts: 5926 - Karma: 598
beating my dick to within an inch of its life
Jun 29 2011 2:40AM
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family_vacation
Posts: 6200 - Karma: 7,840
Change his birthday to a date that is like three days away. when you're under 18 it takes a day or two to change it, and even longer to change back. if you do this, he is guaranteed to get buried under a pile of birthday wishes.

If he is over 18, change it to tomorrow(today now, its morning) and delete the thing on his wall that says his updated his information.

Birthdays are far funnier to change that statuses.


Jun 29 2011 2:45AM
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*Michael*
Posts: 500 - Karma: 73
haha pretty good. for the rest of ya'll, not impressed. a couple of mine were "getting snipped tomorrow, ladies you don't have to worry anymore" and "jackin it with 60 grit sandpaper" although they aren't much better
Jun 29 2011 2:46AM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62
"there is nothing like a fresh babys anus"
Jun 29 2011 2:46AM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
You're all over that anal shit.
Jun 29 2011 2:46AM
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PigBenis
Posts: 182 - Karma: 99
something along the lines of "soo there is this really cute girl but i don;t know how to tell her my feelings... any help?"

it works better if your brother is younger
Jun 29 2011 2:46AM
0 1
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
schooned. pronounced skoon

as in i schooned her hard yesterday fool
ahhh waht please tell me you wrapped it up
nah dude i schooned it sometimes you gotta get poo on your D man. all for the nut
Jun 29 2011 2:47AM
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wynnyk
Posts: 1638 - Karma: 555
"she told me "only if your dick tastes like french fries, so it's a no." twenty minutes
Jun 29 2011 2:48AM
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wynnyk
Posts: 1638 - Karma: 555
later, i found myself putting my pride and my joy in the deep frtyer, at burger king. it was then, where i knew i had hit rock bottom."
Jun 29 2011 2:49AM
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*Michael*
Posts: 500 - Karma: 73
ah i would but we just had our birthday. we're triplets so it wouldn't be believable.
Jun 29 2011 2:49AM
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S.P
Posts: 207 - Karma: 26
hahahah what?!
Jun 29 2011 2:51AM
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Chokolite
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 23
"i am a penis." log in to your account and comment "you are what you eat"
Jun 29 2011 2:51AM
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PadDON
Posts: 130 - Karma: 818
if he is single put him in a relationship with "his hand"
Jun 29 2011 2:56AM
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SteezBoss69
Posts: 61 - Karma: 17
"dick move".... I like it.
Jun 29 2011 2:59AM
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*Michael*
Posts: 500 - Karma: 73
haha golden
Jun 29 2011 2:59AM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
Basically a running joke between me and my fraternity and my friends at CU is that fucking a girl in the ass raw no protection just lube is called schooning. based off my last name schoonmaker and my nickname schoon. i had a phase this last year where i was into givin it to girls in an alternate hole than the mouth or vagina. im still down for it but now its just a running joke. ive had a few kids hear my buddies call me schoon and theyre like "wait? youre schoon?" hahaha its embarassing but ive learned to embrace it i suppose
Jun 29 2011 3:00AM
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Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
Also, change his gender to female. It's a subtle trick that he might not notice right away. But everyone else will when it says "[insert name] commented on her status."
Jun 29 2011 3:01AM
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PadDON
Posts: 130 - Karma: 818
or just make him a memeber of like the big penis club or something like that. delete the post saying he joined wait for him to find out later. My friends did this to me and my mom found that i joined the group. awkward a little
Jun 29 2011 3:05AM
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DaysToCome
Posts: 1601 - Karma: 86
_______ is finding that homosexuality, like breathing, comes very naturally
Jun 29 2011 3:08AM
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Master_Debater
Posts: 1211 - Karma: 225
"I think i have an infection in my foreskin :/"
Jun 29 2011 3:10AM
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POWDER.RANGER
Posts: 1698 - Karma: -24
"anyone have a fleshlight i can borrow for next week??"
Jun 29 2011 3:18AM
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scratchproteen
Posts: 5173 - Karma: 286
"mind if I tongue punch your fart box?"
Jun 29 2011 3:23AM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
Go to the "Men" page and like it.

__________ likes men
Jun 29 2011 4:36AM
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Doug.
Posts: 2236 - Karma: 457
Hahaha fuck.
Im going to use this sometime.
Jun 29 2011 4:48AM
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Chilly.
Posts: 930 - Karma: 24
Not gonna lie...you sound like a raging douchebag.
Jun 29 2011 4:56AM
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zagfan5
Posts: 2608 - Karma: 144
why do so many of these involve an asshole? god ns'ers are fkn gay. haha
Jun 29 2011 5:10AM
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disastertourism
Posts: 2402 - Karma: 135
I'm going to remember this for the rest of my life.
So much better that putting something about being able to lick your own asshole.
Jun 29 2011 5:25AM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
adding captions to profile pictures are things he'll never notice, until others do

Jun 29 2011 6:44AM
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LittleFoot
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 57
hahahaha im so using the word schoon now
































































lol jk
Jun 29 2011 8:25AM
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BlakeLively
Posts: 663 - Karma: 656
shaving the really hairy part in between my pee pee and my asshole! be back later!
Jun 29 2011 9:11AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
"is it wrong if I get a semi when I see my mum step out of the shower?"
Jun 29 2011 9:16AM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37393 - Karma: 120,184
Make it something really believeable. I changed my sisters facebook status to something about her getting busted for having booze in her car (shes 16) along with weed and a fuck-ton of people called her asking her what happened. It was lolz.
Jun 29 2011 10:31AM
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butterbrad
Posts: 146 - Karma: 6
hell yes.. that would be the shit
Jun 29 2011 10:32AM
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disastertourism
Posts: 2402 - Karma: 135
More believable the better, because you could post something rediculous and funny but it'll be more funny if everyone believes it.
Jun 29 2011 10:33AM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
I just wanna say that (tag ugliest girl he has added on facebook) is really pretty and that i hope one day we can hook up.
Jun 29 2011 11:39AM
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Petey.
Posts: 5736 - Karma: 4,885
Jesus christ man.
Jun 29 2011 11:52AM
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CAPITA-DEVOURS
Posts: 1968 - Karma: 4
i just recieved and i cried tears of joy :$ im so happy all of you can know now.
Jun 29 2011 11:52AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
interested in men?
Jun 29 2011 11:54AM
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real_talk
Posts: 106 - Karma: 10
well apparently your GF didn't find it that funny of a joke, huh? https://newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/628875/

and you claim to love getting shit on your dick... that's fucking gross man... and you sound like the typical frat douche.
Jun 29 2011 1:37PM
1 0
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*Michael*
Posts: 500 - Karma: 73
this. hacks that you can tell right away like most of the ones suggested (because they contain balls, asses, dicks, or homosexuality) ain't what i'm looking for.
Jun 29 2011 2:10PM
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