Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Ski Pickup Lines

profile picture
BLandz
Posts: 1651 - Karma: 27,094
In a midst of this 23 year long manic episode which is called my life I was thinking about what the best pickup lines would be at the ski hill. I have tried all of them and none of them worked, but I assume its because women find me unattractive and not because of my (obviously) Godly rizz.


Damn shawty, are you a pair of Vishnu Wides? Cuz id like to beat you off of rails (sorry)

Damn shawty, are you a pair of Vishnu Wides? Cuz id like to slide your box (sorry)

Damn shawty, are you Olivia Asselin, cuz id like to hit dat Asselin (sorry)

Damn shawty, are you a pair of Look Pivots? Cuz Id like you to take my anal virginity (sorry)

Damn shawty, are you Tanner Hall’s ankles? Cuz id like to blow you out in your ski boots (sorry)

Comment your best ski pickup lines below !

**This thread was edited on May 29th 2023 at 3:09:52pm
May 29 2023 3:09PM
58 4
profile picture
muffMan.
Posts: 2768 - Karma: 26,060
Call me xankilla cause I want you to drink my piss
May 29 2023 3:14PM
63 2
profile picture
BLandz
Posts: 1651 - Karma: 27,094
muffMan.Call me xankilla cause I want you to drink my piss


Bro that is fucking disgusting ur never gonna get chicks talking like that.

Also just to clarify in the first one beat you off of rails is like rails as in cocaine you might need to explain that are they might think you are overly aggressive or something.
May 29 2023 3:17PM
28 0
profile picture
Celery
Posts: 2009 - Karma: 24,670
I'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail.
May 29 2023 3:19PM
58 0
profile picture
LilFiddy
Posts: 87 - Karma: 417
this thread has potential
May 29 2023 4:20PM
10 4
profile picture
ASSholebomber22
Posts: 6598 - Karma: 69,844
You know around here the call me the weatherman, I'll promise 8" but you'll get 4" if you're lucky ;) sup babe name's biffbarf
May 29 2023 5:00PM
37 2
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51645 - Karma: 162,278
BLandzBro that is fucking disgusting ur never gonna get chicks talking like that.

Also just to clarify in the first one beat you off of rails is like rails as in cocaine you might need to explain that are they might think you are overly aggressive or something.


You're right, he forgot to start with "Damn shawty,"?
May 29 2023 5:17PM
21 0
profile picture
Newsheepers
Posts: 2160 - Karma: 4,134
damnnn gurl, they call me yungefinesse.


thats it, you don't need to go over the top
May 29 2023 5:49PM
18 3
profile picture
Icant_kfed
Posts: 1274 - Karma: 11,538
Hey girl, they call me the mountain social media manager because I lie about how many inches I’ve got
May 29 2023 7:05PM
39 0
profile picture
sindreplassen
Posts: 1169 - Karma: 10,655
May 29 2023 7:08PM
50 0
profile picture
steez_apprentice
Posts: 863 - Karma: 5,872
someone's gotta make a vishnu wet pickup line
May 29 2023 7:12PM
7 1
profile picture
skiP.E.I.
Posts: 7821 - Karma: 21,850
CeleryI'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail.


The classique
May 29 2023 7:56PM
7 0
profile picture
Young_patty
Posts: 3280 - Karma: 37,930
“Hey watch this”

then you can either jump off the chair lift or send something. Works like a charm.
May 29 2023 7:57PM
14 0
profile picture
asparagus
Posts: 2477 - Karma: 28,188
Call me Jesper Tjader how I love free head
May 29 2023 8:11PM
47 0
profile picture
Newsheepers
Posts: 2160 - Karma: 4,134
Are you dope snow?, because I hate you
May 29 2023 8:29PM
23 0
profile picture
Cspliffff
Posts: 157 - Karma: 1,048
“Wanna know why they call me pushin p?”
May 29 2023 9:21PM
9 1
profile picture
Agate420
Posts: 170 - Karma: 1,355
Being able to ski switch better than regular is the only rizz you’ll ever need

**This post was edited on May 29th 2023 at 9:57:49pm
May 29 2023 9:55PM
9 3
profile picture
dwt802
Posts: 3237 - Karma: 31,961
Okay I got a bunch of horrible ones…


Do you share your ski equipment? I’d love to get in your pants.



They say I’ve got an ava-lung because I never come up for air.



Do your hands get cold skiing? Because my pants are always warm.



I hope you like skiing powder because you’re looking like you’d enjoy a face shot.



I may not have edges on my skis but I have amazing edge control where it matters.



Hey gorgeous, I’m a fan of double D’s, double black diamonds that is.



Your kit makes me think that you know how to ski mad well but your slut strands tell me otherwise.
May 29 2023 11:37PM
21 2
profile picture
little1337
Posts: 8241 - Karma: 47,862
Are you a clown school edit? Bc Fuck
May 30 2023 7:13AM
21 1
profile picture
oldmanski
Posts: 3311 - Karma: 23,828
You know, I was NS member of the month in "month". Gets them every time

Also, the old injured leg hobbling around on crutches is a guarantee. Dont even need a pick up line, they come to you.


edit for my brain thinking faster than my fingers.

**This post was edited on May 30th 2023 at 9:33:28am
May 30 2023 9:32AM
14 0
profile picture
cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,850
750843
May 30 2023 12:54PM
33 0
profile picture
BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9353 - Karma: 68,324
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/5a201025-2538-4fa8-a72e-cef83e9b8d76
May 30 2023 12:55PM
2 1
profile picture
freestyler540
Posts: 13083 - Karma: 18,725
cultrara750843


NS culture at its finest! Thanks for the animations! Any plans for a reboot for the sweet memberberries?
May 30 2023 3:49PM
9 0
profile picture
unijibs
Posts: 146 - Karma: 1,851
are you lukevotaw? cause i wanna stick my jibskin in you
May 30 2023 4:09PM
5 11
profile picture
livyjane
Posts: 38 - Karma: 326
Idk these would work on me
May 30 2023 5:32PM
1 0
profile picture
livyjane
Posts: 38 - Karma: 326
Ok yes this works
Young_patty“Hey watch this”

then you can either jump off the chair lift or send something. Works like a charm.
May 30 2023 5:33PM
8 0
profile picture
steez_apprentice
Posts: 863 - Karma: 5,872
unijibsare you lukevotaw? cause i wanna stick my jibskin in you


big miss
May 30 2023 7:40PM
2 1
profile picture
weastcoat
Posts: 6419 - Karma: 74,057
been at hood for spring pass and one of the lifties was a babe, been flirting with her every day she worked.




yesterday I told her
“man the first couple days here I thought the altitude was getting to me, but then I realized it was you”

I ended up in her bed last night. I think it’s a W


/claim.
May 30 2023 9:02PM
28 0
profile picture
Newsheepers
Posts: 2160 - Karma: 4,134
weatcoastbeen at hood for spring pass and one of the lifties was a babe, been flirting with her every day she worked.




yesterday I told her
“man the first couple days here I thought the altitude was getting to me, but then I realized it was you”

I ended up in her bed last night. I think it’s a W


/claim.

damn if you were trying to imitate reddit, you nailed it
May 30 2023 9:14PM
8 0
profile picture
WoFIowz
Posts: 9790 - Karma: 72,411
weatcoastI ended up in her bed last night. I think it’s a W




I know who you're talking about. They got herpes bro
May 30 2023 9:23PM
18 1
profile picture
unijibs
Posts: 146 - Karma: 1,851
steez_apprenticebig miss


should i talk about durham instead?
May 31 2023 12:22AM
2 0
profile picture
steez_apprentice
Posts: 863 - Karma: 5,872
unijibsshould i talk about durham instead?


do you live under a rock
May 31 2023 9:08AM
1 0
profile picture
zoots_place
Posts: 139 - Karma: 911
she wet on my vishnu til i pivot
May 31 2023 11:59AM
6 2
profile picture
WunhungL0
Posts: 286 - Karma: 1,605
Wanna ride my ramp to the double quad? (Roman lifty rizz) {criss-cross rake patterns ofc}
May 31 2023 1:22PM
0 0
profile picture
asparagus
Posts: 2477 - Karma: 28,188
You remind me of Simon Dumont, we should pipe sometime.
May 31 2023 3:47PM
4 0
profile picture
Celery
Posts: 2009 - Karma: 24,670
You remind me of Simon Dumont, short, self obsessed and angry.
asparagusYou remind me of Simon Dumont, we should pipe sometime.
May 31 2023 4:05PM
8 0
profile picture
partyandBS
Posts: 4516 - Karma: 69,531
oldmanskiYou know, I was NS member of the month in "month". Gets them every time

Also, the old injured leg hobbling around on crutches is a guarantee. Dont even need a pick up line, they come to you.


edit for my brain thinking faster than my fingers.

**This post was edited on May 30th 2023 at 9:33:28am





this works
May 31 2023 11:04PM
2 0
profile picture
piss.boy
Posts: 1491 - Karma: 10,618
im gonna sticky your threads ;}
May 31 2023 11:12PM
2 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 37393 - Karma: 120,172
I can ski faster than I cum so whats up, you fuckin' Savage?
Jun 1 2023 12:31AM
1 1
profile picture
seanahue.
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 3,375
cultrara750843

the hero NS needs
Jun 1 2023 9:54AM
2 0
profile picture
BallClapper
Posts: 2708 - Karma: 10,098
Are you stop four of the FWT? cuz I wanna drop into you.
Jun 2 2023 10:41AM
2 0
profile picture
Envixity
Posts: 25 - Karma: -112
I’ll slide your box if you grind my rail
(ski rizz)
Jun 7 2023 7:10AM
3 2
All times are Eastern (-5)