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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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Scott~
Posts: 2551 - Karma: 49
Are those water skis?~
Mar 10 2008 7:35PM
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steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,026
gaper in my spanish class last year said


"skiers cant do tricks"
me: yes they can
him: "oh well its mostly for snowboarders"

then he proceeded to talk about how he could ski on grass
Mar 10 2008 7:35PM
53 1
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MFinSLC
Posts: 408 - Karma: 31
super gaper at PC asked if I ride the bowl at the bottom....and i was like all the bowls are at the top...and he was like "u know, the trough bowl, like the trough thingy?  I was like the halfpipe?  then he called it a trough again to describe a skier he saw in it  He was a total hillbilly too.
Mar 10 2008 7:41PM
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mistaskia
Posts: 1252 - Karma: 32
with a camera in hand...
gaper: are you filming?
me: no i just like to carry a camera wherever I go. 

Mar 10 2008 7:41PM
28 5
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TonyTheTiger
Posts: 863 - Karma: 68
Right after I did a flatspin 5.... I heard someone scream in the chair: "Omg this guy did a frontflip!!!!".... oooook...

Also the traditionnal :
:Are you good at skiing?
Me: not bad...
:Do you do jumps?
Me: Yes
:Can you do backflips?
Mar 10 2008 7:45PM
42 1
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powderdrunkie
Posts: 2034 - Karma: 976
some guy asked me once if i liked skiing without poles...

i was skiing without poles. i didn't answer him.
Mar 10 2008 7:46PM
35 3
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RunDMc
Posts: 1298 - Karma: 60

haha yeah my friend did a "double backflip" which i actually thought was a corked 7, i'm glad there was a 10 year old racer there to correct me

Mar 10 2008 7:48PM
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CrazedSkier1080
Posts: 3357 - Karma: 66
woah, are those twin tails?

and of course the classic

"can you like, do a backflip?
Mar 10 2008 7:49PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
Wow i get almost exactly this same thing every time i tell someone im a skier
Mar 10 2008 7:50PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
texan: are those twin tippers?
me: twin tips, but ya
texan: whats the point of that?
Mar 10 2008 7:55PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
there was this girl from another local-ish mountain who was skiing at our hill one day. she was pretty good it seemed like (for a girl. get over it, dont bitch at me), skiing switch, hitting some jumps, etc.. the mountain she is from is known for their really good park. so she just happens to be a single, while my group of three goes through the line, and we get paired up. on the ride, she starts talking.

her: "your guys' park is really small."
us: "well i guess. its cool though"
her: "yeah, i dont get it"
us:"what the fuck, whats not to get?"
her: "i just dont get that its small"
us: "uhhh...."
her: "the mountain i ski at just put in a kicker thats 93 feet!"
us: "is it public?"
her: "yeah." (no fucking way would this mountain have a 93 footer for random people to kill themselves on). "yeah, the actual take off thing is like 17 feet, and then the table is like 80 feet"
us: "...."

we stopped talking to her, because she was breaking our brains.
but of course, she keeps talking...

"do you guys do backflips and stuff?"
"uh, i guess."
"because i never really see anyone here do backflips. at my mountain, most people do like double backflip 900's."

she said that people do double backflip 900's.
we all laughed at her, and did not say another word to her for the rest of the ride up.


Mar 10 2008 8:04PM
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steezyjibber
Posts: 15967 - Karma: 11,026
^classic
Mar 10 2008 8:06PM
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C+Thompson
Posts: 434 - Karma: 97

I was skiing down a wimpy beginner hill going to the park and I was skiing switch.
Patrol - "YOU!! FACE THE FORWARDS WAY!"
Me -  "What?"
Patrol - "You'll catch the back of your skis in the ground and hurt yourself"
Me - "NO i won't, I have twin tips, see?"
Patrol - "ohh, well, its dangerous don't do it."

Mar 10 2008 8:10PM
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eheath
Posts: 61590 - Karma: 122,937
gaper: so what you doing here in sunvally
me: oh im in the halfpipe comp tomorrow
gaper: wait, you snowboard too!?!?


gaper: oh crap he's going back wards! thats insane!!!! How do they do that!


me (yelling at a gaper on the knowl): hey get out of the way
gaper: i know what im doing! cant you see what im doing!
Proceeds to fall over on the landing and slides to the bottom.
Mar 10 2008 8:13PM
31 0
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Tucks
Posts: 2120 - Karma: 161
can you do those pipe things
Halfpipes
no
quaterpipes
no
what do you mean
points to a rail

This ones not that funny: are those next years PE's?
No They are this years.
No they are not, mine are this years.
He points to his skis that were k2 mogul skis
Mar 10 2008 8:26PM
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skitoggrob
Posts: 1249 - Karma: 22
one lady was CONVINCED that they made snow on one side of the hill and moved it to the complete other side of the hill where the park is, yes this happend but not early in the season, and not ALL the way ACROSS the hill, and not from on area of snowmaking to another ara of snow making, pretty funny

http://skitog.com/Trails07-S.jpg

from  trail 1 to 7n
Mar 10 2008 8:32PM
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Shpadoinkle
Posts: 10437 - Karma: 84
They store the moguls in Texas. Everyone knows that.
Mar 10 2008 8:33PM
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low_fidelity
Posts: 2673 - Karma: 118
"hey lets go do that new obstacle course" (refering to the terrain park)

"Where are the brakes on these things???" (while flying down the hill at 196 mph)
Mar 10 2008 8:41PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139

Do they have sandboarding here in the summer



Mar 10 2008 8:49PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
W

T

F

?

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, and the owner of my ski hill is a fucking gaper; went up on the lift with him once but I can't remember what he said...
Mar 10 2008 8:59PM
1 24
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jimmer
Posts: 3586 - Karma: 80
2 days ago, 56 degrees, shitty snow.

guy on lift- i like those powder skis of yours, is the powder on the backside?
me (with my 1080 foils) - they are not powder skis, and no.
guy- what are they? those are the fattest skis i've ever seen!

Mar 10 2008 9:00PM
19 1
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-Mugatu
Posts: 2579 - Karma: 84
My friend went to play it again sports to see how much he could get for his skis and the guy asked if he "bent the tails up himself"
Mar 10 2008 9:00PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
Gaper: where do they put the snow during the summer.
Me: they load it into dump trucks and put it in a huge freezer
Gaper: really? that must take awhile
Mar 10 2008 9:03PM
34 0
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Steezasaurus
Posts: 796 - Karma: -53

gaper: are those tricky skis?
me: yes
gaper: so you can like do tricks and stuff?
me:...yes
gaper: so you can like do grinds and helicopter spins??
me:...........sure
gaper: so are you like spansorized and are in like the xgames with shaun white???
me:....no
gaper:....can you do a backflip??
me: no! you fucking gaper, why the fuck do you and all other peopl like you with your fuckin skiblades come in a park and proceed to create a cluster fuck of bitches and destroy all of our lips and jumps by going 3 miles over it and just going down it and cutting people off and make complete assholes of yourself. god fuckin dammit! alot of people can do backflips and do "helicopters" and grind, you along with the rest of your gaper parasite need to just d=stay out of the park and make everyone happy. fuck!
gaper: ( some high school rich kid) proceeds to get teary eyed


Mar 10 2008 9:03PM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21083 - Karma: 8,456
(on a powder day)
"i've been having the hardest time skiing all day, I can't seem to dig my edges into the powder!"
Mar 10 2008 9:03PM
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ECGove
Posts: 1947 - Karma: 75
gaper: i like your skis
me: thanks
gaper: is it hard to go backwards?
me: you get used to it
gaper: so are you guys allowed in the snowboard terrain park?
me: uh...yeah
gaper: when did they open it to skiers?
me: skiers could always go in it
gaper: (proceeded to tell a ten minute story about skis during the 1950's, i wont tell it here due to extreme boringness)
Mar 10 2008 9:08PM
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Sufferboy
Posts: 4241 - Karma: 122
ahaha i get that a lot,

my fav is twin tips??? arnt those the little skis
Mar 10 2008 9:11PM
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J-Wallz
Posts: 1264 - Karma: 54
jibbin the side of a wall dooing spins.

"woah did you see that guy, hes doing wirly-birds"
Mar 10 2008 9:15PM
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pat_in_the_hat
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 2,695
gaper: oh, so those twin tippers are so if your screw up and land backwards you wont catch your tails.......right????
me: seriously? (continued to stare.......)
Mar 10 2008 9:16PM
15 2
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breckfreeskier
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 22
Did I ever tell you about the time I invented snowboarding? Ya, I Don't want credit for it but they keep on giving it to me.
Mar 10 2008 9:16PM
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crussell
Posts: 194 - Karma: 28
gaper: do you know how to do up skiboots?
Me: ya
gaper: do you think you could do mine?
Me: ya, i probably could...
then i walked away
Mar 10 2008 9:16PM
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ryankachel
Posts: 219 - Karma: 20
them "whos thall?"

Mar 10 2008 9:17PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
haha every single lift i get that
Mar 10 2008 9:17PM
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Sufferboy
Posts: 4241 - Karma: 122
no way

CLAIM
Mar 10 2008 9:20PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
while doing a tip stand on the bottom of a run

ski pat-"my friend broke his skis doing that once"
me- "they are supposed to do that"
ski pat-"no my friend broke his doing that"
me-"ok"

get down from tip stand and as soon as he skis away i do it again

and i was told one times to ski down a run switch by a bunch of gapers who called my skis "twin tippers" lol
Mar 10 2008 9:23PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
hate to break it to you but i broke my skis a few weeks ago doing that. im off it for good
Mar 10 2008 9:25PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
lol when i bought my first pair of twin tips the store clerk showed me the T-Halls and said "these are the t-hall model, you know who he is right?" and i had no fucking idea

theres my story of being a gaper oh how far ive come
Mar 10 2008 9:29PM
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Microcosm
Posts: 4765 - Karma: 153
so I was up with a good friend (but a gaper none the less) and he was talking how the park and halfpipe were for snowboarders blah blah blah. you know, the whole skiers doing tricks WHAT!?! thing. I explained the history of freeskiing then hit the park.

I've got plenty more I'll post later.
Mar 10 2008 9:33PM
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connoroh
Posts: 2333 - Karma: 246
on tom wallisch's footy from the  entire season of 06 07


"This guy really has a knack for landing backwards"
Mar 10 2008 9:35PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
lol holy shit

what skis did u have?
Mar 10 2008 9:37PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13082 - Karma: 18,715
One gaper to another: I did a backflip followed by a frontflip

Gaper: do a backflip!
Me: *pushed a backflip in moguls*
Gaper: *shut up and skied away*


Mar 10 2008 9:38PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
i don't get too much of that shit but what i find funny is all the kids in my school think i'm like good as fuck at skiing and should be in the x-games or something. i'm just like no really i'm not that good compared to a lot of people then i get dude you can do like 540's and 720's you are definitely good as shit. i just say yeah...okay man you got me there, i am a pro.
Mar 10 2008 9:38PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
volkl walls. they were p.o.s. though
Mar 10 2008 9:39PM
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Reptar.
Posts: 1509 - Karma: 34
I love some of the really nice gapers that ask stupid questions, those guys make my day.
Mar 10 2008 9:41PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
ok lol i dont feel SOO stupid now lol but maybe next time i tip stand they will break and i will post in here

"fuck" lol
Mar 10 2008 9:41PM
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TannerCoulter.
Posts: 1713 - Karma: 111
can you do a backflip
Mar 10 2008 9:42PM
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Lineskiah11
Posts: 2029 - Karma: 21
i was on the red 1260's (05.06 maybe?) and this guy turns to me... he was on rentals and goes "are those chinese skis?"
Mar 10 2008 9:46PM
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Dhane
Posts: 3866 - Karma: 1,722
"wicked nut grab dude!!"
Mar 10 2008 9:46PM
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ballerman
Posts: 414 - Karma: 15
woah dude nice lorry driver
Mar 10 2008 9:51PM
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Microcosm
Posts: 4765 - Karma: 153
hahaha, crazy gapers. nice icon dude.
Mar 10 2008 10:09PM
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