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Weapons...

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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
...for a Zombie appocalypse!

What would everyone's weapon of choice be?

To get the most out of a zombie appocalypse, you'd clearly have to construct your own weapon from common household items. Remember, a simple, yet effective weapon can still hold off a zombie horde trying to ruin your shit.

Mine would combine a cordless drill and a cricket stump lined with shards of glass/nails in a corkscrew fashion. That'd fuck up some zombies, one at a time.
Nov 3 2006 6:09AM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
Raid every church for holy water, get 800 gallons, jack a fire engine, fill up the tank and set that up as your mobile base, using only slight fog spray from a booster line. I would have whomped enough zombie ass to accrue several survivors.

I would drive to the nearest toy store and buy the largest super soakers they have + water pistols. These are the weapons I would use for foot ops. I would station 4 at the engine, while 3 go into the churches to raid more holy water for our crusade against the dead.

Travel town to down, fueling up wherever I can until finally we take on NY NY. My epic crew amasses itself on the edge of the town, ready for the final showdown between good versus evil...
Nov 3 2006 6:33AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
If and when this Zombie appocalypse occurs, I'd say that you're ready.
Nov 3 2006 7:31AM
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Billek
Posts: 5665 - Karma: 98
I am tempted to say cricket bat after Shaun of the Dead, but I would like a 6 shot automatic 12ga, or a Katana.

...Probaly both
Nov 3 2006 7:39AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
Clearly a cricket bat would be your weapon of choice, haha you're right, you can't go past it. And as evidence shows, in the time of a Zombie appocalypse, it was an effective weapon.
Nov 3 2006 8:50AM
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skifiend
Posts: 2063 - Karma: 13
screw making a weapon...12ga. all the way.
Nov 3 2006 8:58AM
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GnarBurger
Posts: 3215 - Karma: 43
id want a sword or a battle axe
Nov 3 2006 10:04AM
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CamBrowne
Posts: 1830 - Karma: 99
ski pole or baeball bat wat ever i find first or a sharp race ski
Nov 3 2006 10:28AM
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ninjea
Posts: 2083 - Karma: 28
my katana.
Nov 3 2006 11:12AM
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StevenSegal
Posts: 1716 - Karma: 16
oh i've been preparing for a hostile takeover of the zombie/alien typre for a while and have concluded that there can be but one homemade weapon i would have the pleasure of whooping ass with, duke nukem style...

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i dub thee.. THE SPANKER
Nov 3 2006 11:13AM
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cpc_skier
Posts: 209 - Karma: 10
haahah i love the duct tape around the middle
yeah i would have to say a baseball bat with a nail through it
Nov 3 2006 11:41AM
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clova
Posts: 819 - Karma: 10
Best story ive ever heard
Nov 3 2006 11:55AM
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SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36
who said holy water kills zombies.

but if it does can i come kill some with you in 2010 when the olympics come to vancouver
Nov 3 2006 5:54PM
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chapz
Posts: 10182 - Karma: 66
my fist, or a bow and arrow, Robin Hood style jea.. theyre are sick

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Nov 3 2006 6:23PM
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hendrik.
Posts: 6715 - Karma: 267
first i'd try playing that song from mars attacks. then if that didnt work, i'd just make some napalm, and set up sprayers around my property line and vapoorize anything that came near.
Nov 3 2006 6:27PM
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ECfreeski3
Posts: 12019 - Karma: 126
man shawn of the dead made me want to crank people in the head with bats so bad. and im not even a violent person

and id choose the ole bat with a nail thru it. classic
Nov 3 2006 8:00PM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
^hahaha that's what I'm talking about.
Nov 3 2006 8:55PM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
oh no, not battle axe...

Halberd.

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Nov 3 2006 9:01PM
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leckett1
Posts: 6476 - Karma: 294
i want a death ray with photon torpedoes
Nov 3 2006 10:22PM
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phatbush
Posts: 1693 - Karma: 20
i see u have been thinking of this
Nov 3 2006 10:24PM
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Alkyy
Posts: 2839 - Karma: 149
Bear traps. Hundreds and hundreds of bear traps....
Nov 3 2006 10:28PM
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philipc
Posts: 6651 - Karma: 1,286
rpg
Nov 3 2006 10:34PM
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scarroll
Posts: 420 - Karma: 10
I would have to say an axe for long range and a crowbar for up close. Then a bat with a nail through it for back up.
Nov 3 2006 10:37PM
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fillup
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 568
cuck norris's legs
Nov 3 2006 10:43PM
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MitchPee
Posts: 8871 - Karma: 1,509
A spoon.
Nov 3 2006 10:45PM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
Homemade with PVC piping, electrical tape, gas cannister from the family BBQ and deoderant cans?
Nov 3 2006 10:46PM
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andy_boy
Posts: 4434 - Karma: 107
Screw all the novelty weapons. I'd get some form of chain gun, mount it on the back of a stolen trick and fucking rip through the city mowing down anything that looks even remotely like a zombie.
Nov 4 2006 1:02AM
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andy_boy
Posts: 4434 - Karma: 107
stolen truck*
Nov 4 2006 1:04AM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
well goodness gracious, Zombies are classed as undead, meaning holy water is effective against them...

But of course, enlist with me and defeat the undead take over. Holy water eats away their corrupt flesh, but a fine mist is the most effective way of riding them.
Nov 4 2006 1:04AM
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Aerozol
Posts: 1124 - Karma: 488
oh common guys
for heavens sake, the CHAINSAW
Nov 4 2006 3:08AM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
haha, please, how barbaric. If you wish to persue such barbaric thoughts i suggest you go live with lions
Nov 4 2006 3:21AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
A chainsaw has no class, and it's so cliche.
Nov 4 2006 3:26AM
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triebby
Posts: 8670 - Karma: 2,190
ahahahaha, yes, duke nukem, awesome
Nov 4 2006 1:46PM
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skogenjake
Posts: 6685 - Karma: 511
big shot gun. hatchet with divots taken out of the blade, so it's jagged. and a 3 wood, for style.
chainsaws just end up cutting YOU up.
Nov 4 2006 1:49PM
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lyndon
Posts: 7266 - Karma: 128
simple! a zombie proof vest!
Nov 4 2006 3:57PM
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StevenSegal
Posts: 1716 - Karma: 16
Avada Cadavra BIOTCH!
Nov 4 2006 7:24PM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
YOU BETTER SOAK THE RAG IN MY HOLY WATER SOLDIER!
Nov 4 2006 8:02PM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
It's good to see that newschoolers is well prepared for a Zombie appocalypse.
Nov 4 2006 8:31PM
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FUUUCK
Posts: 18426 - Karma: 4,888
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Nov 4 2006 8:41PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25
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Nov 4 2006 8:44PM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
^That'd do a fair bit of damage, particularly if you blew it up really hard.
Nov 4 2006 8:49PM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
Haha how does that work? Regardless, it's homemade and would make a Zombie appocalypse that much more enjoyable.
Nov 5 2006 5:27AM
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Tapes
Posts: 1469 - Karma: 7
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Nov 5 2006 5:58AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
Seriously, what other purpose would a utensil like that have, other than killing Zombies during a Zombie appocalypse.
Nov 5 2006 7:42AM
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skiatgore69
Posts: 1677 - Karma: 27
i was hearing about this "zombie" apocolyapse the other day
Nov 5 2006 7:44AM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
oH ReALLY? Will you be creating your own contingency plan as well? Perhaps you would like to sign onto a pre-existing plan/weapon usage?
Nov 5 2006 7:49AM
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Aerozol
Posts: 1124 - Karma: 488
you guys should all go die.
while your thinking up fancy ideas for weaponry, I know that when the zombie apocalypse comes (and it will ) I can walk into pretty much any garden shed around, grab a chainsaw and start spattering zombies.
although a tesla coil would be cool, id just sit in a safe zone in the middle and watch them get fried


its time for bed, i just had the thought that i should make a zombie movie involving our intrepid hero doing sick cork 7s off cliffs, with zombie snowboarders chasing him, until he gaffs them with his chainsaw, saving loads of hot girls. bed time.
skiing + zombies = awesomeness though... even when sober
Nov 5 2006 8:51AM
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Star_F*cker
Posts: 565 - Karma: 10
the gun that has saved my ass many times

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Nov 5 2006 9:15AM
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GFELLER.
Posts: 640 - Karma: 13
For my assault on NYC I will bring along several priests to bless the water system, rendering every outlet, faucet, sprinkler system able to pump the Holy Water.

For Street cleansing we would hookup our lines to the hydrants and blast em with a virtually endless supply of water. As we clear around large high rises we will set off the sprinkler system within the buildings, rendering any animated zombie harmless.

The more difficult will be the underground assualts (i.e. subway systems, parking garages etc...) For this we will bring along several of these puppies:
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Subway systems will require Shotguns and our water pistols.

Now for aerial assults we will have spray plane pilots stationed on local airstrips outside of town where they will refuel their planes and holy water. A priest will be at each airfield. We will be able to coordinate attacks via radio and will be primarily used as blanket attacks on streets and open fields where large numbers may amass.

Don't be fooled, this is no easy task, NYC is home to millions and in an event like this dissenters and slackers will be left to dry.
Nov 5 2006 9:41AM
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Mr_Bojangles
Posts: 2585 - Karma: 16
I've got a better idea for an aerial assault...

We'd use the Skycrane 'Elvis' Firebomber helicopter. In Australia, we use it to fight bushfires with it's several thousand litre payload. If we filled this badboy with holy water, it could end a Zombie horde assault on any Australian city in 4 or 5 strikes.

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I mean seriously, look at this ownage. Imagine unleashing this over a horde of 850 zombies...

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Nov 5 2006 6:34PM
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