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ever have sex with your skis?

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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
kinda curious. some kid told me on the hill last year that he fell deeply in love with his oakley goggles and then came the skis. i guess its ok too, because my very own pair of twinnies turn me on...so i guess its acceptable...



















prins was that you?
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 26 2001 11:42PM
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yellowsnow4u
Posts: 3283 - Karma: 15
Yeah.....ok there buddy.

-matt

'I know a guy named Pedro who looks like a monkey.'
Sep 26 2001 11:44PM
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Chimichanga15
Posts: 297 - Karma: 12
Yes, I will admit that most of the time thoughts of skiing override thoughts of sex, but no, I have never had sex with my skis. Or goggles.
Sep 26 2001 11:44PM
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Prins
Posts: 1283 - Karma: 49
All i have to say to you two is that you have never lived. VIVA SKI
Sep 26 2001 11:46PM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
well ok i will confess..it was actually myself who said it...maybe the wind was blowing hard when i was on the chairlift by myself..i guess its hard to remember because i always ski bymyself...well sometimes with my other self. but he only comes to watch.
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 26 2001 11:49PM
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Ski_Instructor_Mike
Posts: 6146 - Karma: 73
What A coincedence In school today we were listing our goals in life and mine all related to skiing so the guy next to me says 'let me guess what you next goal is.. Have sex with your skis' And I was like 'No way man I just sharpened my edges'.
We make a good team Homer.' 'A groin grabbingly good team' - Simpsons
Sep 26 2001 11:49PM
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yellowsnow4u
Posts: 3283 - Karma: 15
lol

-matt

'I know a guy named Pedro who looks like a monkey.'
Sep 26 2001 11:50PM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
i dont see how sex with a ski would work. . .
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 26 2001 11:51PM
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Machete
Posts: 71 - Karma: 11
hmm, this is an interesting post, im assuming someone is about to analize how having sex with a ski would work.

~Chris

'If the bible has taught us one thing and nothing else - and it hasn't - its that guys should stick to guy sports and girls should stick to girl sports, like foxy boxing and hot oil wrestling and such and such' - homer simpson
Sep 26 2001 11:56PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
i've kissed my skis on several occasions. That's about it though.

'Dumb man gives wife grand piano...smart man gives wife upright organ'
Sep 27 2001 12:05AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
would insert into the ski or would the ski do all the work
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:06AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
it might be kinda cold so i think i would save it until the off season
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:07AM
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yellowsnow4u
Posts: 3283 - Karma: 15
Yeah all I've done is kissed my skis. Frigid bitches.

-matt

'I know a guy named Pedro who looks like a monkey.'
Sep 27 2001 12:07AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
ok good thing you brought that up scott. i just got done testing it out and surprisingly its not too hard...it takes a while to get the ski in a good mood though..you know you have to rub the rusted edges and bathe the bases in smooth wax....
these are the steps:

1. call up your local physician

2. put on a gs suite

3. put that pink thong on

4. get two glasses of fine italian Cabernet wine

5. light a white candel and dim the lights

6. invite the skis to the table

7. start feeling the skis to make sure all edges are safe.

8. make the skis feel relaxed and comfortable while taking off the bindings

9. culk up the remaining screw holes

10. start to lie the skis down

11. make sure everything is ok first too

12. start making the move.......

a very complicated process that can lead to a lot of fun....i mean how many young teenages can sey they had sex with a whore that cost 600 dollers....and thats retail value.

good luck and see you on the slopes!
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:09AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
my skis would be kinda dirty to do...skogan sprangs
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:09AM
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Chimichanga15
Posts: 297 - Karma: 12
Wow - that does sound pretty tricky, but at least you won't get diseases from them.
Sep 27 2001 12:12AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
they might be rusty then you would need a tetnus shot
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:14AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
hey scott are you a dumb ass sick little freak. i mean what idiot would explain the moves of getting jiggy with skis. what kind a loser is this. maybe you should post this on some other forum too..who in gods name do you think you are?

damn homo
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:14AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
whoa turbo. slow down. i am just trying to have some fun. whats your problem?

i mean least i have support from that one guy.

i don't like swearing either.

and i happen to be really good friends with a homo. really good friends


burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:16AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh gees scott dont be so hard on him
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:17AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
oh ok. just checking. because last time i remembered. you are kicked out of your house and stay at the college library 12 hours a day. you dumb fuck. y don't you start something you peice of ass.
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:19AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
LEAVE ME ALONE.....I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU...YOU DON'T KNOW WHATS ITS LIKE MAN..I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND..

bastard!
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:22AM
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yellowsnow4u
Posts: 3283 - Karma: 15
Exactly how many personalities do you have scott?

-matt

'I know a guy named Pedro who looks like a monkey.'
Sep 27 2001 12:23AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
yo witch scott is the good or nice one?
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:25AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
huh. i only have one don't i. maybe that other guy is in my head...can you see his posts too?
weird man, stuff is messed up

burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:25AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
hey this is the regular scoot. all those other scotts are messed up. what nonsense they produce. so whats up guys. ready to ski or what? i am pumped to race.....racing for life!
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:26AM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
ok..that was fucking weird!

'Dumb man gives wife grand piano...smart man gives wife upright organ'
Sep 27 2001 12:27AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
i swear scott if you disregard me like that again i will kill you .....i willl kill you scott i swear. i know where you live. i own your head bitch!

burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:29AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
does this mean you will commit suicide....hey this is kinda like fight club
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:30AM
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Chimichanga15
Posts: 297 - Karma: 12
I think Scott should have his own section here at ns.com and he can post stuff and reply to himself.
Sep 27 2001 12:32AM
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yellowsnow4u
Posts: 3283 - Karma: 15
Yeah. It could be like ask scott and you could get the opinion of each one of his personalities. Although I question whether the NS servers could take that many responses at a time.

-matt

'I know a guy named Pedro who looks like a monkey.'
Sep 27 2001 12:35AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
i think scott is on crack
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:40AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
oh ya scott i saw footy of one of your rodeo 540's ....not too shabby
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:40AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
ok sounds radical. harvey can you hook me up bro. that would totally be bodashis!!!!!


totally knarley!
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:41AM
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PhattTim
Posts: 13943 - Karma: 83
Dude, that's some crazy shit, I guess I've kissed skis before and hug them at least once a day. My mates all hug and kiss their snowboards too, haha. it's all good.
'When people say you have a one track mind, tell them they're only half right. Skiing leaves 2 tracks!' - Seth Morrison
Sep 27 2001 12:47AM
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yellowsnow4u
Posts: 3283 - Karma: 15
Oh great. Now we have 80s surfer scott

-matt

'I know a guy named Pedro who looks like a monkey.'
Sep 27 2001 12:48AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
80's rule
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:51AM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
absolutely right mate. we have all versions of scott. since he only gets proposals from prostitutes.....he is quite a bloody fool. haha...he declined a whore...who would do such a thing? damn fossils.
burnettes are so so so so so HOT, they make me get nervous A LOT, so next time you get the chance, take a second, and third glance.
Sep 27 2001 12:53AM
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cypress1080
Posts: 1751 - Karma: 21
was the whore good looking?
*Member of the WestCoast*
Sep 27 2001 12:56AM
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Chimichanga15
Posts: 297 - Karma: 12
yellowsnow4u that's an awesome idea to have the 'Ask Scott' section. Maybe we could make a post about that here, as long as Scott, or at least one of his personalities, agrees to that.
Sep 27 2001 1:06AM
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PhattTim
Posts: 13943 - Karma: 83
yeah, that'd be rad!
'When people say you have a one track mind, tell them they're only half right. Skiing leaves 2 tracks!' - Seth Morrison
Sep 27 2001 1:35AM
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Machete
Posts: 71 - Karma: 11
uh

~Chris

'If the bible has taught us one thing and nothing else - and it hasn't - its that guys should stick to guy sports and girls should stick to girl sports, like foxy boxing and hot oil wrestling and such and such' - homer simpson
Sep 27 2001 11:46AM
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bagO'tricks
Posts: 304 - Karma: 11
ok...heres the thing, my skis are virgins. my skis will stay virgins. my skis are not sluts or 'easy' so for every1 else out there...BACKUP!! Keep your freaky deaky little skis away from mine!!
Sep 29 2001 4:15PM
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ESB
Posts: 9274 - Karma: 10,648
hmmm... i slept with my Skogens when I first got them, but then the edges cut my cheek in the middle of the night... bitches.
Join the Tribal Revolution!
Sep 27 2001 5:33PM
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PowderPrincess
Posts: 2767 - Karma: 20
well i didnt have sex with my 1080s, but i had to like pretend i was making out with them for a skit.. i had to like pretend i was acting like mary catherine gallager from SNL, but at the same time i was dressed up like britney spears in her "baby.. one more time" video.. because halloween was that day anyways.. it was really embarassing to say the least!

*brooke*
Sep 27 2001 5:38PM
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newschooler14
Posts: 2843 - Karma: 25
well actually my nice skogens with rusted edges occupy my bed!! yeah i sleep in a different room do to my sister being in spain for like a year or something like that so right now they are al nice and warm under the covers jsut waiting to be skied on
It takes a big man to cry but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.
Sep 27 2001 6:30PM
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foxyroxy312
Posts: 293 - Karma: 10
i've kissed my 1080's before but u know my 10's and i haven't gone that far..
Sep 27 2001 6:36PM
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SkierX
Posts: 16253 - Karma: 538
HEY NOW! That's somfucked up shit. And people say I'm fucked up. But, i must admit, me and my 1260s are in a relationship, its only a brief kiss be4 bed evry nite though. Anyting else is just wrong.
Sep 27 2001 7:25PM
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PhattTim
Posts: 13943 - Karma: 83
Yeah, I think it's cool though that we can kiss our skis and not feel stoopid.
Sep 27 2001 7:44PM
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scottkovtun
Posts: 453 - Karma: 104
hahaha. i kiss my skis all the time. its so romantic! specially when you are hiking the pipe and they just stare at you. you have to give them some kind of love. they are the basis for tricks.

i'm kissing my skis so much
even at the dinner table or during lunch
actually this post is quite stupid
wouldn't it be cool if you shot cupid




SNIPER IN THE WOODS.... SNIPERS EVERYWHERE.

GET DOWN
GET DOWN
FROWN
TOWN
DROWN
OK
YOU
SEE
SOMETHING
WEIRD
YOU
MATCH
UP
YOUR
THOUGHTS
AND
START
TO
GROW
A
BEARD
WHAT
COULD
IT
BE
I
DON'T
KNOW
IS
IT
A
PENGUINE
OR
A
NOSE
WOULDN'T
IT
BE
COOL
TO
SEE
PLUTO
BURRITOS
ARE
GOOD
CHEESE
AND
MEXICO
PLUS
CANADA
AND
AMERICA
EQUAL
CARS
OK
HI
Sep 28 2001 12:42PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
please tell me that is not your signature

Confucious says...dumb man gives wife grand piano. Smart man gives wife upright organ.

Sep 28 2001 1:08PM
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