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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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Butter it up

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DJCrazyA
Posts: 946 - Karma: 16
STOEN FROM ANOTHER ONLINE BOARD

ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Heres some backround:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 22, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Allison, and were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anywayz


So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex.

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So I gave her Diddy Kong Racing, and Ken Griffey Jr Baseball, and then she goes to my room. Shes a bit confused and scared.

Then i think to myself - yo i need lube right? Cuz i heard you guys on the board saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?
Feb 2 2006 1:21PM
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skinlikewinter
Posts: 170 - Karma: 15
hahahaha youre going to jail.
Feb 2 2006 1:23PM
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freestyle_kyle
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 164
is he fuckin serious?
Feb 2 2006 1:23PM
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anti_bunk
Posts: 2629 - Karma: 329
no wonder shes crying. diddy kong racing sucks. give her mario kart.
Feb 2 2006 1:26PM
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Edward.
Posts: 9366 - Karma: 445
RAPE!hahahahaha
Feb 2 2006 1:28PM
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freestyle_kyle
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 164
what kind of board are u on?
Feb 2 2006 1:31PM
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DJCrazyA
Posts: 946 - Karma: 16
www.bodybuildingdungeon.com
Feb 2 2006 1:31PM
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KRASHED
Posts: 7803 - Karma: 466
hahahhahaahahaa, burnt clit, thats hilarious
Feb 2 2006 1:34PM
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DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
girls do anything for n64 games.
Feb 2 2006 1:36PM
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drewishish
Posts: 3710 - Karma: 23
tell her its what usually happens( if shes a virgan and has no clue)
Feb 2 2006 1:37PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287
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i had to
Feb 2 2006 1:37PM
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KRASHED
Posts: 7803 - Karma: 466
your governor of California could beat the white house into submission, gotta love Arnold!
Feb 2 2006 1:45PM
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JazzyJ
Posts: 3233 - Karma: 18
no way. diddy kong racing had that crazy hindu elephant. And you could fly! it was sick
Feb 2 2006 1:47PM
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sneather
Posts: 6672 - Karma: 19
hahahazhaha! good call
Feb 2 2006 1:48PM
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iheartskiing7
Posts: 410 - Karma: 10
hahahah. thats so terrible.
Feb 2 2006 1:49PM
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eheath
Posts: 61603 - Karma: 123,089
Hahahah thats a sweet story.
Feb 2 2006 1:50PM
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bp.lando
Posts: 9297 - Karma: 1,495
so heartwarming
Feb 2 2006 1:59PM
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guillermolongjon2
Posts: 648 - Karma: 10
hahahah thats hilarious
Feb 2 2006 2:06PM
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TheQuailman
Posts: 7382 - Karma: 147
thts the funniest story i ever heerd, no joke - you gave her n64 games to hav sex with you!

kill the bitch
Feb 2 2006 2:08PM
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japanada
Posts: 13784 - Karma: 1,957
WTF the person that came up with thta hillarious lie should become the next jay leno.
Feb 2 2006 2:36PM
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tBatt
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 580
haha 22 and still a virgin?!?!
Feb 2 2006 2:44PM
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stinkypoodangle
Posts: 1322 - Karma: 33
that is the funniest thing i have read in a while. thank you for that laugh.
Feb 2 2006 2:52PM
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DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
any woman would be upset if the man was done is 10 seconds. thats just a let down.
Feb 2 2006 4:12PM
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oakjewlery
Posts: 4905 - Karma: 32
HAHAHAHHAA
Feb 2 2006 4:19PM
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hylandrox
Posts: 558 - Karma: 15
so funny
Feb 2 2006 4:23PM
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Xave
Posts: 2672 - Karma: 18
you made my day, no my week
Feb 2 2006 4:39PM
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drewishish
Posts: 3710 - Karma: 23
you were deffintely settin ur self up for sharin that. o oand she is by law a whore
Feb 2 2006 4:41PM
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Bloom.
Posts: 3540 - Karma: 13,300
i don't believe you
Feb 2 2006 4:50PM
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El.Capitan
Posts: 654 - Karma: 11
bahaha a very amusing story, but also sounds like quite an unpleasant place to be burned
Feb 2 2006 4:56PM
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awsomecoolguy
Posts: 3536 - Karma: 13
hahaha yeah mario cart is were it's at
Feb 2 2006 4:58PM
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Dr.Barq
Posts: 720 - Karma: 15
hahaha thats so classic, the last part about asking "should i give her another n64 game?" was the best part
Feb 2 2006 5:05PM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
ahahahahahahahaha dw worry ill only be ten seconds, lol but the funniest thing is ur prostituting a 15 year old wid video games as payment ahahaha
Feb 2 2006 7:16PM
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hucker22
Posts: 6176 - Karma: 23
hahahahahaha. that is hilarious. burned her clit with melted butter. that has to be a first
Feb 2 2006 7:23PM
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brogilvie
Posts: 2607 - Karma: 123
HAHAHAHA, I laughed for atleast 9 consecutive minutes when I read that.
Feb 2 2006 7:35PM
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Notorious_BLT
Posts: 3401 - Karma: 14
yea that was one hilarious story but i cant believe it.
every one knows softball players are lesbians
Feb 2 2006 7:42PM
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reggyboy
Posts: 1608 - Karma: 13
thats y he bribed her wid n64 games
Feb 2 2006 7:44PM
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Lord_Piot
Posts: 3727 - Karma: 13
HAHAHAHAH

id love to see a news article about this a week from now.

"how do i shut her up, so i give her another n64 game"

WOW. i dont think ive laughed this hard since robe/wizard hat
Feb 2 2006 7:58PM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
holy shit, hahah, thanks for the laugh.
Feb 2 2006 8:06PM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
do you have a link to that thread so we can read what people said that that guy???
Feb 2 2006 8:18PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
ahhahahaha! it's clearly a joke, and an amazing one at that. some of you dudes are too gullable.
Feb 2 2006 8:19PM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
hey, some people man, you just don't know whats going on inside their head
Feb 2 2006 8:24PM
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squeakywaffle
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 13
SELECT YOUR VEHICLE
Feb 2 2006 10:15PM
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squeakywaffle
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 13
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Feb 2 2006 11:04PM
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KEVTRON
Posts: 3545 - Karma: 1,222
haha really? sweet!
Feb 3 2006 6:49AM
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k2yeags
Posts: 2320 - Karma: 27
Amanzing
Feb 3 2006 6:56AM
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Tapes
Posts: 1469 - Karma: 7
hahaha!
Feb 3 2006 7:08AM
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snoopy
Posts: 5240 - Karma: 30
sick game
Feb 3 2006 7:11AM
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snoopy
Posts: 5240 - Karma: 30
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the turtle was the best
Feb 3 2006 7:12AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13083 - Karma: 18,725
That guy is going to Jail!
Feb 3 2006 7:27AM
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Timmy_G
Posts: 3735 - Karma: 15
Hahaha it is a funny story. Whoever made it up is funny as fuck. that would be so raunch: melted butter and sweating pussy together. yech
Feb 3 2006 7:36AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13083 - Karma: 18,725
I read it again and it just gets funnier!
Feb 3 2006 7:46AM
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