Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Woman Logic

profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 10:55AM
1786 211
profile picture
blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
I approve this message.
Jan 21 2012 10:57AM
12 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 11:04AM
32 0
profile picture
Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
oh lawd
Jan 21 2012 11:06AM
1 0
profile picture
Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
SOOO TRUE! Man it's the wrost
Jan 21 2012 11:06AM
2 0
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 11:10AM
11 0
profile picture
COrider
Posts: 1498 - Karma: 23
lol

inb4 pink names
Jan 21 2012 11:11AM
7 1
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
every word is true.
Jan 21 2012 11:12AM
2 0
profile picture
Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089

Click for larger image.
Jan 21 2012 11:18AM
32 0
profile picture
Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
DUDE

.
Jan 21 2012 11:19AM
7 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
what a boss.
Jan 21 2012 11:44AM
8 0
profile picture
theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Fucking owned. Truth though.
Jan 21 2012 11:52AM
5 0
profile picture
EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
Fuck that bitch.

This thread is full of truth
Jan 21 2012 11:58AM
6 0
profile picture
extravert
Posts: 1112 - Karma: 3,174
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 12:15PM
26 0
profile picture
PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
This thread is awesome lol
Jan 21 2012 12:16PM
4 0
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 12:19PM
18 0
profile picture
Wheaty214
Posts: 1687 - Karma: 841
This thread is magnificent.
Jan 21 2012 12:20PM
4 1
profile picture
Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
this thread fills me with rage
Jan 21 2012 12:27PM
3 2
profile picture
GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
Some of these are hillarious! Keep em coming
Jan 21 2012 12:34PM
1 1
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
explain
Jan 21 2012 12:34PM
1 1
profile picture
Mormor_Olga
Posts: 259 - Karma: 34
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 12:35PM
8 0
profile picture
Mormor_Olga
Posts: 259 - Karma: 34
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 12:35PM
14 0
profile picture
corn.husk.hero.
Posts: 50 - Karma: 3
so much truth in here


Jan 21 2012 12:43PM
2 0
profile picture
Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089

Click for larger image.



Click for larger image.


Jan 21 2012 12:56PM
14 0
profile picture
NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
this thread delivers.
Jan 21 2012 12:57PM
3 0
profile picture
mode2n
Posts: 2856 - Karma: 255
I quite enjoy this thread indeed
Jan 21 2012 1:00PM
1 0
profile picture
AGOF
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 3,602
fucking bitches man. also like stated above, this thread is full of truth
Jan 21 2012 1:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
somewhat related:

Click for larger image

Click for larger image

Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 1:18PM
6 0
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
A translation of what women say and what they really mean ........

"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry

"We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now

"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" = I need to complain

"Sure go ahead" = I don't want you to

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"You're so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house

"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're going to hate

"I'll be ready in a minute" = Just going to wash my hair

"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me

"Are you listening to me!?" = Too late, you're dead
Jan 21 2012 1:20PM
19 0
profile picture
snocompton
Posts: 2014 - Karma: 268
great stuff itt
Jan 21 2012 1:25PM
1 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 1:26PM
32 0
profile picture
CliffyByro
Posts: 5678 - Karma: 3,903
hahaha lost so badly.

also STILL inb4 pinknames
Jan 21 2012 1:28PM
1 0
profile picture
snowdon
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 391
Can't live with us, can't live without us. Sowwyyy
Jan 21 2012 1:31PM
3 32
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Click for larger image
Click for larger image
Click for larger image

How To Shower Like a Woman

  1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
    to lights and darks.
  2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
  3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
  4. Get in the shower.
  5. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
  6. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
  7. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
  8. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
  9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
  10. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
  12. Shave armpits and legs.
  13. Turn off shower.
  14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
  15. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
  16. Get out of shower.
  17. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
  18. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
  19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
  20. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

  1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
  2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
  3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
  4. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
  5. Get in the shower.
  6. Wash your face.
  7. Wash your armpits.
  8. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
  9. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
  10. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
  11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
  12. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
  13. Pee.
  14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
  15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
  16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
  17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
  18. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
  19. Throw wet towel on bed.
Jan 21 2012 1:33PM
26 0
profile picture
asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 358
hahaha this is so funny
Jan 21 2012 1:35PM
9 1
profile picture
Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
i lold
Jan 21 2012 1:37PM
0 0
profile picture
Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
lol almost exactly how i do it
Jan 21 2012 1:37PM
7 0
profile picture
thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
amazing.
Jan 21 2012 1:40PM
1 0
profile picture
Dwarftosser1
Posts: 2602 - Karma: 951
Bahahahah

Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 1:42PM
6 0
profile picture
Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
what's there to explain? theres a bunch of dumbass posts by girls that make you frustrated to live on a planet with them. (those people, not women in general.)
Jan 21 2012 1:43PM
5 1
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
Oh i took it wrongly, I thought you meant the fact that we were posting things like that was getting to you lol
Jan 21 2012 1:44PM
0 0
profile picture
SketchyMike
Posts: 539 - Karma: 71
ohhh lawl
Jan 21 2012 1:47PM
1 0
profile picture
Elg
Posts: 2998 - Karma: 3,880
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 2:00PM
5 0
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
Click for larger image
but I assume since thread has not been deleted we're all good.
Jan 21 2012 2:05PM
10 0
profile picture
Tonic
Posts: 334 - Karma: 1,653
kitchen/sandwich jokes are dull and really dont ever bring up a laugh
Jan 21 2012 2:13PM
5 0
profile picture
snowdon
Posts: 2480 - Karma: 391
Click for larger image
Jan 21 2012 2:18PM
0 1
profile picture
Casual.
Posts: 1125 - Karma: 28
this thread is going places.
Jan 21 2012 2:21PM
1 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
this thread is hilarious ! best one to grace NSG in awhile if you ask me!
no offense pink-names, we still love you! ;)
Jan 21 2012 2:24PM
1 0
profile picture
PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
ELEMENT: Women

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg

OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:

1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:

1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:

1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
Jan 21 2012 2:24PM
10 0
profile picture
roddy116
Posts: 10627 - Karma: 7,423
lol
Jan 21 2012 2:37PM
0 0
profile picture
gengar.
Posts: 1042 - Karma: 1,641
everything in this thread is so true
Jan 21 2012 2:45PM
0 1
All times are Eastern (-5)