sipping fine wine and and feasting on earths dankest is the way...surrounding yourself in beauty, people sharing love and everything else...but complacency creeps like arthritis... sucking desire out and replacing it with fat cells attached to corroding ligaments. i find myself holed up in the rain soaked state of jefferson with a lifetime of memories and flashbacks aching my present in every way....waiting...waiting....waiting for ideas, for phone calls, for moves, for decisions, for anything but now. you find yourself....dead broke. cush job from last season - gone. your credit card is the only positive balance in your financial life. then you read an article about some asshole in hong kong who sliced his family then jumped out of his luxary apartment building window because he lost his retirement in some bogus international scheme and this story makes you realize your an asshole for complaining about ANYTHING FINANCIAL because in the western world we live like kings even when we have no money. -werd. the focus of this horrid nightmare is broken with a call from another room - oh shit the pork cutlets are ready...."how about some more red???" so you consume, you partake. there is only the best company, so be good. but the bottom line is season is only weeks away, and the truck needs work. A new setup? -almost out of the question. All gains have become leverage only. Plan B is airtight but scary as shit. Plan A can go fuck itself. the only sure thing is that life's collective culmination feels like a train wreck.... at least i have sanctuary in oregon - for now.