I promised everyone tunnels, and so here are tunnels.

In a far, far away land called Madison, Wisconsin there lives a half

retarded, completely crazy bum who stands a whopping 6', 7" and who

is quite appropriately named "Tunnel Bob". This is because he is the

foremost expert regarding underground labyrinths of tunnels in the

Midwest, especially in Madison. He goes into the underground several

times a week. I have been in contact with Tunnel Bob for several years

now, and so when he offered to take me into the tunnels last Friday,

I couldn't say no.

I invited my equally curious tunnel searching friend Alex Applegate

along for relative safety.

Bob's email wrote, "If you come to the union at 9:00 pm and meet me by

the Stirtskeller, I then may decide to take you into the tunnels." And so we

were there at 9:00 and at about quarter after when we still saw no Bob

and began to worry that he may not show, we decided to take a walk around

and look for the man ourselves. We found him pacing a hallway with a

confused look on his face, but upon seeing me became glad that we had found him.

After a free coke from the workers there who know him all too well, we

began our walk to one of the closest entrances of the tunnels that he had left

open for us earlier in the evening.

The tunnels stretch for countless miles in all directions many feet

below the ground, their purpose to pump steam heating through all

buildings on UW's campus. Because they are steam access tunnels,

they are a scorching 120 degrees, and are filled with hot pipes,

wires, water, latters and various controls.

After exploring several miles of tunnel for an hour and a half, we

crawled out into the fresh night air and walked back to the union to

enjoy cold cokes with Bob and talk about more nonsense.

Our tunneling appetites far from quenched; Alex, Bob, and I venture

down into the tunnels again this friday to explore many more

sections deep under Madison.

Until then,

-Lesh