Words by Zack Barwin
(Credit Thomas O'Connell)
In today's breaking Newschoolers News, Resident Camera Whore'ing Expert Dr. Jaymay Walter has brought to our attention that famed NS Proooooo Fotographer Matt Sklar is currently addicted to using his fisheye. No, fisheye is not a code word for Steve Stepp aka Stepp Productions aka Black Steves' popular drug of choice Kratom. Fisheye refers to a popular wide angle camera lens, used as a cheating technique to distort features and make trannyfinds look larger than Tom Wallisch's XL salted pretzels. Sklars fisheye of choice, the Opteka 6.5mm is seen here.
Matt Sklar recently admitted his addiction in an internet message to Jaymay Walter on popular fotography social network 'Facebook'.
"Hi my name is Matt, and I have a fisheye problem. I got one about 6 months ago and I haven't been able to stop using it since."
Matt can also be seen commenting about his problem in Newschoolers.com cult Ladies Men
When asked about Matt Sklar's addiction, Dr. Walter had this to say. "I've really seen him start to slip. It was only once or twice a set, now everything is from that fisheye. I swear he needs help. I'm an expert at whoring camera gear, and matt has a class A addiction to that lens. Seen bellow is a diagram of his latest images on Newschoolers.com, the thumbnails circled in red are photographs taken with his Opteka. On his first page alone, 8/12 photos were shot with a fisheye. His problem is worse than I first though, he needs urgent medical attention at my fotographer rehabilitation facility!"
Dweeby Photo Lurker t_rob said the following when asked about his past obsession with Matt Sklar Media, "Matt used to be my all time favourite fotographer, but ever since he bought that fisheye, his photos got boring. He posted way to much in 'Post Your Best Photography' and started spamming to get his photos up-voted to the splash page. I obviously know more about fotography than zbPhoto, and a fisheye is a clear sign that someone is trying to hard to be pro...."
Here Sklar, a new inductee to the Newschoolers Photography Program, receiving a cash stipend for photo views, attempts to whore out his photo in the Post Your Best Photography thread to support his addiction (note the link to the photo).
To further understand why Matt Sklar is addicted to using his fisheye lens, we questioned a resident Newschoolers.com #photodouche, who asked to remain anonymous. He had this to say, "I used to be a fisheye addict, but using a fisheye requires no photographic skill or knowledge, it is the equivalent of cheating on a test. For that reason, I sold my fisheye cold turkey, and now shoot strictly a 50mm lens on film. True art."
Now, you may ask, what can I do to help poor Matt Sklar? Well, if you desire, you can sign this petition asking Matt to attend fotography rehabilitation. He has agreed to attend if the petition reaches 420 signatures.
(Credit Fisheye Addict)
Please Sklar, we want you to get clean, we know you can do it!
- #photodouche69
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