You ever buy big variety bags of candy? Or course you do, because 1. EVERYONE loves candy, and 2. there’s like lots of different kinds of candy in variety bags. Point is, when all is said and done, you always end up with a big pile of the crappy candy or the crappy flavors. Which brings me to chocolate Dum Dums. Delicious and chocolate are two words I would NOT use to describe chocolate Dum Dums. The only person in the world that eats these damn things is probably the same guy who actually likes candy corn.

I’m going to tie this into skiing by using a 300 count bag of Dum Dums as a metaphor for ski event product tosses and raffles. At some such events, you may have at one point wondered why all the swag you and your friends got… sucks. You know, T-shirts in size XS, ugly gloves, the cheap kind of stickers that still come on sheets, water bottles, gaper series goggles, skis under 150cm, and snowboards over 160cm with butcher and pig cut graphics, one of which my room Tinga is in possession of. Maybe its late in the season and reps have already given away all the good swag, or they think your event isn’t that cool but would feel bad if they didn’t toss you a bone, or the riders have already gotten first dibs. Truth is, the good swag has always already been picked over by the riders, given away already, and your event is in fact, pretty lame, and that is why swag is free. It takes up space, its cheap, and nobody wants it, just like chocolate flavored Dum Dums.

Just kidding, I love crappy free swag. I’m going to have a contest, first person to comment on this post gets at least 50 chocolate Dum Dums, free.