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"trick" tips for cunnilingus

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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
ok, i posted this in the no bush/bush thread but i think it deserves its own section. Altoids are a godsend. original flavor works best. put an altoid in your mouth before you go down on a chick, it'll be minty for you and the menthol is cool and stimulating for them so it's a win/win situation. believe me, your girlfriend will thank you. or maybe i'm sponsered by altoids and just want to shamelessly plug them. either way, try it.

'The 90s are kiling me. I should not have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I've got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. '
Aug 25 2002 7:19PM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
lol! That's a good one fore sure.

A couple girls told me to leave a class of ice water by the bed, then when you go down on a girl, take a drink of water first, and suck the ice cube into your mouth. It's a cool surprise for her...and apparently a damn good one too.


____
Don't think just jump.
Aug 25 2002 7:21PM
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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
yeah, the ice is great, but sometimes it can be a little cold on the mouth plus it melts quicker than an altoid. i wonder what those listerine mint strip things you put on your tongue would do...

'The 90s are kiling me. I should not have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I've got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. '
Aug 25 2002 7:24PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
DO NOT PUT ANYTHING WITH SUGAR IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

I cannot stress this enough! This goes for altoids juice and the mint strips and shit like that. Depending on the bacteria levels, you don't want no yeast infections ruining your fun!

'uhhh.... i figure since we will probably never meet then its okay to talk about balls. - Kamikaze
FROSTMONKEY.COM
Aug 25 2002 7:49PM
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BigRich
Posts: 1634 - Karma: 29
very true yeti.
There are sugar free alternatives that work just as well.
But a funny little trick i learned goes as follows.....
Firstly you need to munch muff for a while so it juicy. then add one half of an alka seltsa tablet and watch and wait. the moisture makes the tablet fizz like crazy and is supposed to feel awesom for the lady. however when shes had enough of all that bubbles and fizz push and ice cube up there and apparently its send them crazy. (sometimes to an instant orgasam)
And its not dangerous for the ladys sensitive parts.
Aug 25 2002 9:14PM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
oh shit...i totally forgot about that. I read that in maxim a few months ago too. Sheesh...good thing someone remembered.


____
Don't think just jump.
Aug 25 2002 11:28PM
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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
or you can use the alka seltzer, wrap bread around it and feed it to seagulls then chase them so they fly. then their stomachs explode and they fall to the ground. i've heard that gives chicks orgasms too, perfect first date.

'The 90s are kiling me. I should not have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I've got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. '
Aug 26 2002 12:55AM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
mmmmmm, yeast.........thats like eating bread, right?.....right?......where are you going?......come back!........please don't leave me........mommy?




The only thing wrong with snowboarders is that they snowboard

'I busted all over my stomach and she rubbed it all over me, it was awesome' - anonymous

'I like little boys' - Phrosty

There's nothing I respect more than someone who can make me laugh

'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

everything you know is not true


`When I was doin him in the butt, my dick touched his shit...it was cool` - J()nes
Aug 27 2002 10:05PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
ice cubes are overrated, its all about hot wax




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Aug 28 2002 5:16PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
nah fuck that, it's all about fucking her in the ass then getting her to give you head...well...if you enjoy other people lowering themselves like me. but i am just sick.

'uhhh.... i figure since we will probably never meet then its okay to talk about balls. - Kamikaze
FROSTMONKEY.COM
Aug 28 2002 5:21PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
heres the line, look, see it? now see?! im on the other side?! see?! its that easy!




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Aug 28 2002 5:37PM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
you sick bastard.

lol


____
Don't think just jump.
Aug 28 2002 9:17PM
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BrodyLeven
Posts: 7016 - Karma: 187
thanks for the shortened sig skipimp

how is ice-head good?

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
Aug 29 2002 9:11PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
try having a contrast shower. keep changing the water from hot to cold to hot to cold.

now imagine that on your man meat.

'uhhh.... i figure since we will probably never meet then its okay to talk about balls. - Kamikaze
FROSTMONKEY.COM
Aug 30 2002 1:49AM
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SteveXs2
Posts: 7922 - Karma: 40
Best topic ever, I like it a lot.... even though I don't have a girlfriend right now.

-------------------
~ Steve Xs2 (Get Hyped!)
~ I [heart] the Line 1260
Aug 30 2002 3:31AM
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BrodyLeven
Posts: 7016 - Karma: 187
that doesn't mean anythign big guy
i've never had a real girlfriend. but that doesn't mean i dont put the bag on their head.

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
Aug 30 2002 12:03PM
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i_am_retarded
Posts: 581 - Karma: 10
hah, 'but that doesn't mean i put the bag on their head'---best quote evAr.

-------------------------

'sweet i can be seen sober with you' -- my friend dom to a previously not hot, now hot girl he was meeting.
Aug 30 2002 8:04PM
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BrodyLeven
Posts: 7016 - Karma: 187
no one has ever said that to me, why , thank you retard.

lol thats the funniest shit, calling you retard. hahahaha

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
Aug 30 2002 8:26PM
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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
no no guys you're getting it all wrong. the bag is for YOUR head, 'cuz then you can hook up with ANY chick and fantasize that she's really hot. putting the bag over her head only helps if she's got a nice body.

'The 90s are kiling me. I should not have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I've got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. '
Aug 30 2002 8:43PM
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BrodyLeven
Posts: 7016 - Karma: 187
2 legs and a pussy? good to roollll..

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
Aug 30 2002 9:15PM
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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
god you're picky, why do you need legs? they just get in the way.

'The 90s are kiling me. I should not have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I've got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. '
Aug 30 2002 9:20PM
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BrodyLeven
Posts: 7016 - Karma: 187
haha lol well, i guess.

and shaved.

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
Aug 30 2002 9:24PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
you guys are all fucked up... you shouldn't need bags CAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T HOOK UP WITH NASTY BITCHES!
period.




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Aug 31 2002 2:35AM
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SteveXs2
Posts: 7922 - Karma: 40
I agree. If they're nasty, they'll probably stink worse. If they're hot, they probably take more care of themselves, thus not smelling as bad.

-------------------
~ Steve Xs2 (Get Hyped!)
~ I [heart] the Line 1260
Aug 31 2002 2:39AM
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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
yeah, but there are some nasty chicks that take care of themselves which is deceiving....that is where the bag comes in. speaking of the bag me and my friends a couple months ago did a snow schulpture of a guy doing a chick from behind while watching TV and she has a bag on her head. actually we got too lazy to give her a face, but it was better that way anyways. plus he's resting a beer on her butt and holding a cig in the other hand. and he has the o-face. i'll post it if i ever scan it.

'The 90s are kiling me. I should not have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I've got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. '
Aug 31 2002 7:36PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
fat chicks need loving too. But they gotta pay.

and they won't be paying me cuz fucking ugly chicks IS ROUGH CUT STYLES FOR SURE!

'uhhh.... i figure since we will probably never meet then its okay to talk about balls. - Kamikaze
FROSTMONKEY.COM
Aug 31 2002 8:15PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
so what you're saying is fuck fat chicks in the ass....and then let them suck yousr cock.......realy what is the mater with you.




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Sep 3 2002 9:10PM
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yeti
Posts: 6335 - Karma: 17
lol hahahaha

nah, i'll just stick it to my girlfriend.

you know what girls really don't like?

'roll over and bite the pillow bitch i'm goin' in dry!'

'uhhh.... i figure since we will probably never meet then its okay to talk about balls. - Kamikaze
FROSTMONKEY.COM
Sep 3 2002 9:31PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
i did that 3 nights ago, non lubed condom.it looked like it hurt




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Sep 3 2002 9:41PM
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Phrosty
Posts: 9956 - Karma: 18
fuck em with no spit.


Wasted State Represent!!

I like my boots like my women, rear entry.
Sep 3 2002 11:48PM
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Brit1275
Posts: 5972 - Karma: 11
you can get these little packet things of flavored syrup stuff. flavors like pinacolada, mango, etc. it works as lube, tastes not all that bad, and heats up when it's blown on or rubbed. there's your answer

Word up to all the subie owners out there!

Co-FOunder of the Low Summit Kicker Posse
Sep 4 2002 12:31AM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
yeah but do you actually stop, go hold on a sec, run into the kitchen, come back and pour powdered drink mix on your girls cooch? ok, man if it works for you.




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Sep 5 2002 6:55PM
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Brit1275
Posts: 5972 - Karma: 11
don't be dumb. they're made for that, you have to get it at sex shops. it' not powdered. it comes in these little plasticy pouch things (about the size of a quarter) it works as lube too, like i said

Word up to all the subie owners out there!

Co-FOunder of the Low Summit Kicker Posse
Sep 5 2002 8:08PM
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Maximumsushi
Posts: 7837 - Karma: 3,351
Dental Dam.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-Dan
'...but I had no idea that my dog was fucking the shit out of my leg.' (-alpentalik)
Sep 5 2002 10:26PM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
sou youre talkin about the actual sex stuff that you get at the it store...my bad i thought you meant instant crystal mix




'COORS LIGHT!?!?! what the fuck, you pussy, get the fuck outta my house!' - Me

Society - the biggest gang in the world

word to the wise: don't sleep with whores named Roberta
Sep 8 2002 11:13PM
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lagwagon
Posts: 2074 - Karma: 15
I have a girlfriend, her name is Hand.
Lagwagon. Is it legal to marry a band?
Sep 9 2002 5:55AM
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kwoodhucka
Posts: 253 - Karma: 12
you have to get the stuff they sell at sex stores, it's a trip just walking into those places. it's either kids fucking around or old perverts. and finding titles like 'pregnant black bitches fuck animals' is, well, priceless. plus they have 18 inch double dongs, which are pretty funny.

'They can suck my pathetic little dick. And I'll dip my balls in marinara sauce so they get a taste of home while they're at it.'
Sep 9 2002 11:44PM
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TrystX
Posts: 53 - Karma: 10
You know they make citrus flavored altoids now... not that u can really taste it... :P
Sep 10 2002 12:02AM
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Brit1275
Posts: 5972 - Karma: 11
yeah, sex shops are where its at. i tried to convince my girlfriend to buy me one of those fake latex vagina thingys (like a dildo for guys) to hold me over while she's away at college, but she wouldn't do it! haha

Word up to all the subie owners out there!

Co-FOunder of the Low Summit Kicker Posse
Sep 10 2002 4:17PM
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sirjibsalot
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 19
thanx buddy
ill but a box of altoids in my mouth just to excel the pleasure a little bit
Hey yo im bringin it down with the sick boyz crew
The ill urban jibs is what we do

Im addicted to ClodHoppers.....
Sep 10 2002 7:19PM
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