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Petting Cats = Sex

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alpentalik
Posts: 7364 - Karma: 110
Well, it's August...Whistler has been closed for sometime now so I have been a little bored lately. I have been spending a lot of time sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing and I noticed that my dad's cats do the same. I decided to befriend these felines, since we do the exact same nothing all day long. Cats, being cats, like to be petted, a lot. Through petting my dads cats I have come to the conclusion that cats like being petted so much because it is like sex to them. Seriously, go pet a cat and watch it close its eyes an scrunch its face. Go pet a cat and watch it try to reach for something to hold on to. You can call me a creep, but I;m being serious here...in fact, I don't like the cats any more, or cats in general for that matter. Just go and find a cat and pet it, you'll see now that I pointed it out. Thank you, good night.


Its not how good you ski, but how good you look in the lift line that counts.

Jibbin' For Jesus
Aug 22 2002 4:55PM
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alpentalik
Posts: 7364 - Karma: 110
Maybe so, but I'm dead serious.


Its not how good you ski, but how good you look in the lift line that counts.

Jibbin' For Jesus
Aug 22 2002 5:05PM
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Ski_Instructor_Mike
Posts: 6146 - Karma: 73
I've known this for a long time. think of what they're doing when they rub up against your leg. it's like rape man...
-Mike

Mercer: drinking mans protein shake
Me: hahhhahahahaha
Mercer: sick ass
Me: That's the funnyest thing I've heard all day
Mercer: good make it your sig on ns.com faggot
Mercer: and hump the vacume while your at it.
Aug 22 2002 5:06PM
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svwingnut
Posts: 238 - Karma: 10
Damnit Harvey....why doesn't this guy have his own column or post of the day or something yet?!!!

Salad is what Food eats. -LoKash
Aug 23 2002 12:38AM
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sirjibsalot
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 19
You know what....i always wondered why cats liked to be pet so much...thank you for coming to that conclusion and helping me sleep better tongith.
Hey yo im bringin it down with the sick boyz crew
The ill urban jibs is what we do

Im addicted to ClodHoppers.....
Aug 23 2002 12:40AM
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BlindFaith
Posts: 841 - Karma: 12
They're marking you as their territory when they rub up against you. But wait, if petting a cat is sex to them, then what is real sex to them? Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Or don't, whatever, no peer pressure here.




-----------------------------------------------
Cheers

'You cant get hurt in the air....its when you land that bad things happen'

'You don't know me and you don't know my style.' - Method Man
Aug 23 2002 12:49AM
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Ski_Instructor_Mike
Posts: 6146 - Karma: 73
*cough* cat fucker *cough*
-Mike

Mercer: drinking mans protein shake
Me: hahhhahahahaha
Mercer: sick ass
Me: That's the funnyest thing I've heard all day
Mercer: good make it your sig on ns.com faggot
Mercer: and hump the vacume while your at it.
Aug 23 2002 12:49AM
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skiapimp
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 8
your right, pussy 'cats' like to get petted alot.
Aug 23 2002 12:54AM
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kevywevy
Posts: 6292 - Karma: 13
yes lets start a petition to get Alpentalik his own post of the day slot or something like that.

just sign your name
here i'll start.

KEVIN



Ebay has everything from blow up sex dolls to philipino sex slaves to skis to wives. it has all the bases covered
Aug 23 2002 1:28AM
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jibs
Posts: 2529 - Karma: 48
Male cats have spikes on their dinks to lock them on to their chick...so i'm sure sex isn't that wonderful for em.

My friend's cats go nuts when you pet their belly's...though i proceed with caution, because i witnessed a girl petting a dogs belly...and the dog orgasmed and shot his load onto her. No joke...when you bring it up she goes bright red and walks away.


____
Don't think just jump.
Aug 23 2002 1:28AM
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kevywevy
Posts: 6292 - Karma: 13
lol how fun would that be??? having a cat or a dog or any animal for that matter orgasiming all over you. eeeewwwww!!!!! its all warm and stickey


Ebay has everything from blow up sex dolls to philipino sex slaves to skis to wives. it has all the bases covered
Aug 23 2002 1:30AM
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yetirolfe
Posts: 1388 - Karma: 10
a prime example of what bored does to a young man
Aug 23 2002 3:04AM
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$SKEEPIMP$
Posts: 126 - Karma: 11
i like jerking off my kitty


Reward your curiosity

So sit on your porch and drink your fortys, and if anybody gives you any crap just tell 'em 'I'm chillin'
Aug 23 2002 5:00AM
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dez22
Posts: 2959 - Karma: 65
cats always run away from me
-------------------
'Pro - peagna? What the fuck is that?' - my friend looking at my Propaganda DvD (he's not to bright)

skiers get head
snowboarders get ass
Aug 23 2002 5:43AM
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Nine_Milla_Killa
Posts: 6783 - Karma: 23
Hooks on their danks??? Sounds alienish!





Hey everyone, I'm a grape!!!
Aug 23 2002 5:52AM
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AppSkier
Posts: 4797 - Karma: 86
when cats have sex, they squeak an make some interesting noises.


'Its like a piece of god in my hands'-Grayson Gordon

Yankees Suck
Aug 23 2002 2:24PM
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i_am_retarded
Posts: 581 - Karma: 10
when you rub a male dogs belly it simulates sex for them and they like it.
Aug 23 2002 3:57PM
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alpentalik
Posts: 7364 - Karma: 110
When I was little, I was a very small child. We had a weiner dog named Fritz. He wasn't your average weiner dog, he was one of them wire haired dachsunds, so he was pretty big, about my size. Anyway, when may dad would have guests over and get real drunk and he'd make me lay on the living room floor and get Fritz riled up and then he would start humping my leg (the dog would, not my dad) and every one would laugh and laugh and so would I, I loved the attention, but I had no idea that my dog was fucking the shit out of my leg.


Its not how good you ski, but how good you look in the lift line that counts.

Jibbin' For Jesus
Aug 23 2002 4:11PM
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BrodyLeven
Posts: 7016 - Karma: 187
there is like a million people online right now. damn.

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
Aug 23 2002 6:49PM
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dez22
Posts: 2959 - Karma: 65
alp thats not a good thing
-------------------
'Pro - peagna? What the fuck is that?' - my friend looking at my Propaganda DvD (he's not to bright)

skiers get head
snowboarders get ass
Aug 23 2002 10:23PM
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i_am_retarded
Posts: 581 - Karma: 10
he's not one of us!!!! he fucks dogs! we have a dog fucker in here!!!!
Aug 23 2002 11:24PM
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$SKEEPIMP$
Posts: 126 - Karma: 11
I am the clit commander.


Reward your curiosity

So sit on your porch and drink your fortys, and if anybody gives you any crap just tell 'em 'I'm chillin'
Aug 23 2002 11:27PM
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lineskier321
Posts: 1425 - Karma: 22
thats one of the funniest things ive heard in a long time.

homophobia is gay

last time it was so cool, i was walking outside and the grass kept saying ouch as i walked on it, and then i looked up and pulled a star out of the sky with my hand and took it apart
-ski2824 on shrooms

Why is the name of the fear of long words
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?














Aug 23 2002 11:31PM
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crimson1080
Posts: 342 - Karma: 10
Hey dude you know how in movies you always see dudes talkin about milking cats...what kind of noise would they make if you milked them...

i think they'd be all like...MOOYEOOOWWW
hey man, that dogs pissing on your 1080's!!!
THAT BASTARD!!!!
Aug 24 2002 2:31AM
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castlerock
Posts: 1096 - Karma: 11
alpentalik, you will be striken down with the worst ass-cancer the gods could ever muster, for creating this post.

~Chris

You know something that would really make me applaud? A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis. How do they do that?
Aug 25 2002 12:02AM
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NH_LiNe
Posts: 2140 - Karma: 37
alpentalik, that wuz the funniest most stupid thing i have ever read, i pissed my pants! post that in the ski gabber... lmfao



-i just farted, can you smell it?-
Aug 25 2002 9:41PM
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newschooler14
Posts: 2843 - Karma: 25
that was probrably one of the funniest posts i have read in a looonggg time
rastafarians believe ronald reagan was the anti-christ
Aug 25 2002 11:07PM
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Lanemeyers
Posts: 5007 - Karma: 19
I used to do the congo with my dog and everyone used to think that was pretty funny, but he was trying to seduce me now that I look back on it. What a slut, and me...so eager to dance with the mutt.
The sandwiches are all here....
Aug 26 2002 11:00AM
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