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partyandBS
December, 2024

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How to court a big cottonwood baddie - an alta skiers perspective.

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mikem
Posts: 948 - Karma: 9,432
1. The snowboarder.
no.

2. The Skier
Are your jet skis sick? Do you smoke spirit light blues? how many hours have you spent at coffee break while cooked. Did you go to the "INTL" last night to see some bad skiers "dj set". How many hours did you spend at 4closure's "ski premieres". How many underage women did you talk to at Wives?.

If you answered YES to all the above questions you must pass the litmus test of the ladies of BCC.

Based on experience and discussion the ladies have many questions for you.

1. Did you hit the galaxy gas in Molly greens.
2. Do you cool guy in the park even tho you kinda suck.
3. Is P your idol orrrrr?
4. Are you fucking that one chick from solitude?
5. How many 80/20 spliffs (tob heavy) can you smoke per Majestic lift ride?
6. Is that a tattoo of your mom on your shoulder?
7. Do you have a voided drivers license to drive me down? Im too drunk...
8. How piffed are you?
9. Do you not wear a beacon in the sidecountry?
10. Did you get a gun pulled on you exiting hidden canyon?

If you answered yes to all the above, you must be bangin.

easy
Dec 28 2024 4:27AM
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bennwithtwons
Posts: 1512 - Karma: 13,484
This is sufficiently incomprehensible to make me quite intrigued, indeed.
Dec 28 2024 1:39PM
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BallClapper
Posts: 3330 - Karma: 14,743
Mike blesses us with some impeccable advice once again.
Dec 28 2024 3:50PM
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brownetown
Posts: 448 - Karma: 4,385
The thing about that one chick from solitude is that she has you and ten other dudes thinking you’re the only one hitting it. Stay strong kings don’t fall for it
Dec 28 2024 5:05PM
21 1
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weastcoat
Posts: 6442 - Karma: 74,358
brownetownThe thing about that one chick from solitude is that she has you and ten other dudes thinking you’re the only one hitting it. Stay strong kings don’t fall for it

Women in SLC make me want to off myself. Why did I think it was any better here.
Dec 28 2024 5:09PM
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ski_salmon69
Posts: 1875 - Karma: 28,067
My mom says i’m not allowed to talk to girls
Dec 28 2024 7:58PM
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SupremeChairlift
Posts: 304 - Karma: 3,908
How about how to NOT court a big cottonwood baddie.

Step 1:
Keep doing what you are doing
Dec 29 2024 1:39AM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9667 - Karma: 446
This makes me want to die thanks
Dec 29 2024 2:11PM
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BallClapper
Posts: 3330 - Karma: 14,743
pssst, how about an Alta shawty 🤫🤫🤫
Dec 29 2024 5:40PM
7 1
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mikem
Posts: 948 - Karma: 9,432
BallClapperpssst, how about an Alta shawty 🤫🤫🤫


Here is the guide - was released during covid so it may need to be adapted and revised.

https://www.newschoolers.com/news/read/How-Court-Alta-ski-town-Princess
Dec 29 2024 8:33PM
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mikem
Posts: 948 - Karma: 9,432
Arabian.This makes me want to die thanks


did not intend any bad thoughts or hate. really just trying to make people laugh.

tho if you ski Btown - how far did I miss the mark?
Dec 29 2024 8:45PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37690 - Karma: 123,862
Tips to skiing the Cottonwoods:

1. Move there

2. Bitch about traffic and congestion only after moving there in the last 5 years.

3. Dad's Money.

You'll be swimming in it and will have fun being a backseat-bandit with your partner.
Dec 29 2024 9:39PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9667 - Karma: 446
mikemdid not intend any bad thoughts or hate. really just trying to make people laugh.

tho if you ski Btown - how far did I miss the mark?


Not too far off. I've had 7 asked of me 4 straight weekends in a row.
GayWolf420Tips to skiing the Cottonwoods:

1. Move there

2. Bitch about traffic and congestion only after moving there in the last 5 years.

3. Dad's Money.

You'll be swimming in it and will have fun being a backseat-bandit with your partner.


Being a bandito requires people to actually be horny instead of just imploding at the first sign of intimacy. Dad's money can't fix that sigh
Dec 29 2024 10:03PM
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BallClapper
Posts: 3330 - Karma: 14,743
Thx chief u the best.
mikemHere is the guide - was released during covid so it may need to be adapted and revised.

https://www.newschoolers.com/news/read/How-Court-Alta-ski-town-Princess
Dec 29 2024 10:13PM
2 1
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37690 - Karma: 123,862
Arabian.Not too far off. I've had 7 asked of me 4 straight weekends in a row.


Being a bandito requires people to actually be horny instead of just imploding at the first sign of intimacy. Dad's money can't fix that sigh


Oh no I meant like just overall general shitty skiing ability.
Dec 29 2024 10:18PM
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BallClapper
Posts: 3330 - Karma: 14,743
ITS GLORIOUS 🥹🥹🥹
mikemHere is the guide - was released during covid so it may need to be adapted and revised.

https://www.newschoolers.com/news/read/How-Court-Alta-ski-town-Princess
Dec 29 2024 10:20PM
1 1
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BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9432 - Karma: 69,228
your posts are always incredibly accurate and I love them so much
Dec 30 2024 12:22AM
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WoFlowz
Posts: 8012 - Karma: 63,855
BallClapperpssst, how about an Alta shawty 🤫🤫🤫


daddies deer valley princess and trust fund look pretty nice too ngl
Dec 31 2024 2:24PM
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BallClapper
Posts: 3330 - Karma: 14,743
You couldn't hit if you tried.
WoFlowzdaddies deer valley princess and trust fund look pretty nice too ngl
Dec 31 2024 4:54PM
11 1
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WoFlowz
Posts: 8012 - Karma: 63,855
BallClapperYou couldn't hit if you tried.


Ex‘s family owns a house on snowmass 🥱
Dec 31 2024 8:08PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4865 - Karma: -820
GayWolf420Tips to skiing the Cottonwoods:

1. Move there

2. Bitch about traffic and congestion only after moving there in the last 5 years.

3. Dad's Money.

You'll be swimming in it and will have fun being a backseat-bandit with your partner.


It's fucked up there are so many locals that all show up whenever it snows I saw the pics of the road out yesterday. How are people supposed to go on vacation and sit in that?
Jan 1 2025 9:44PM
4 0
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mikem
Posts: 948 - Karma: 9,432
BallClapperpssst, how about an Alta shawty 🤫🤫🤫


i've found great success in being a fucking idiot and heavy drinking. can't keep em off me
Jan 1 2025 10:38PM
8 0
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SlushSeason
Posts: 968 - Karma: 7,669
You've figured out the "How?" but never stopped to ask the "Why?"
BCC girls are smelly, live in vans, and don't even ski well.
If you want a real skier girl, you need to put in the effort for a powder queen at Alta or a racer princess at DV. If you just want an easy lay, hit up Latinas (non skiers) at Cheers or Johnny's at 12:30am.
Jan 2 2025 10:50AM
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