The art of cool-guying; an investigative journey

The cool-guy has always been a fascinating specimen to me. Always acting like they're too cool or too good to talk to or ski with you. What are they hiding, why do they do it, and how do they pull it off??

I have spent the last 3 ski seasons exclusively skiing at Alta; The cool-guy capitol of the world. I have been living, skiing, and fucking here with the sole intent of studying these bizzare creatures. Here are some of my findings:

1. The Method

Picture this: You walk into the slopeside cafe to get an alta bomb with your friends after getting some fire clips on wildcat. life is good. The cafe is bustling, a melting pot of friend groups, big egos, and whiteness. You finally find a place to sit at a larger round table with a bunch of people you vaguely know after carrying around a piping hot shot of espresso and burning your fingers. As you begin to get settled in you say whats up to the homies at the table who have previously been somewhat friendly to you, and all you get is a weird look or a subtle nod. "whats wrong with me?", "what did I do to these guys to cause such distaste towards me?" "Do these guys think they're too good to talk to me just because they can cork?". These questions race through your head as you realize you have just become a victim of being "cool-guyed". You feel belittled and disrespected. The feeling of excitement you had from getting your banger clips quickly turns into a feeling of pain, fear, and insecurity. The remaining duration of your drinking consists of an uncomfortable, tangible tension between two friend groups sitting at the same table.

Another instance of cool-guying might be: You get to the top of collins and see a good homie of yours (or so you thought) chilling with a crew of local heavy hitters. These guys ski fast, go big, and fuck hard on a daily basis. You ski over to your "friend" expecting to be greeted with the typical " YOOO WHATS GOOD DAWG ARF ARF ARF" and dap up only to be shut down hard. He gives you a subtle nod and an ashamed "hey buddy". It feels as if you've just been hit over the head with a metal chair like you're in WWE match. Not knowing how to react you buckle your boots and go ski another solo aggies lap with Olivia Rodrigo blasting in your headphones. Betrayal. "He was embarrassed to be seen around me" "He wanted so badly to look cool to the pro bros on a shitty flow deal with faction" You go back to the cafe alone to sulk on the couch and rethink everything about yourself.

These are just two small examples of a much bigger and more complex problem. Countless skiers just trying to have a good time are getting cool-guyed on a daily basis. Now, you must be wondering "What might push someone to become a cool guy?". Let's get right into it.

2. The Motive


After roughly 3 years of extensive, on-site investigation, I feel that I have gathered enough consistent data to confidently determine the main driving factors that might cause a skier to become a "cool guy".

Exhibit A. Insecurity: Just like anybody else on this planet, a lot of these "cool guys" suffer from deep insecurities. Wether that be childhood trauma, bullying, a bad case of small penis, mental incompetence, lack of direction or promise in their life, lacking the ability to court women, etc...

Exhibit B. (and this one is surely the biggest factor) Social incompetence: A very large percent of these "cool guys" are heavily lacking in ability to socialize. They are genuinely afraid of having to have a conversation or social interaction with you. So instead of running the risk of saying something that could be perceived as "weird", They choose to play it cool and act like they're too tough.

The one thing that these people have going for themselves is that they're (generally speaking) all really talented skiers. So instead of dealing with their insecurities and learning basic social skills, they find it much easier to hide behind a facade of being a cool, mysterious, tough guy skier.

In conclusion, the not-so-rare "cool guy" is a wildly complex creature and on the surface may seem very intimidating, but at they end of the day he or she is just your average person fighting a personal mental war just like the rest of us. They just haven't yet learned healthy coping mechanisms. I have made a point to get to know many of these people on a deeper level and most of them are actually very friendly. They just need time to warm up to you. At the end of the day we are all here with the same goal: go skiing and have fun with our friends. It's literally just skiing, sliding down frozen water on wooden boards. Taking it too seriously only leads to pain and insecurity.

Got inspired by the beautiful work of my dear friend @MikeM. thanks.