ALL SKIERS MUST READ!

Skier’s Guide to Sending a Gangsta 360



So, you’ve finally buckled your boots, strapped on your skis, and fitted your goggles to your face. You’ve made the decision to start skiing. Good job! It’s a fun and rewarding sport, albeit not without challenges. If you’re reading this, you’ve most likely gotten pretty good at it, and are looking to take on a new skill - the skill of send. Over the course of your journey you are sure to have noticed skiers that stand above the rest, literally. They are sending jumps, grinding rails, and hucking cliffs like there’s no tomorrow. Effortlessly blending technicality with style, in a fashion which can only be described as steeze. The scourge of the ski patrol, these skiers bring a certain energy to the mountain that is unmatched by anyone. This is a guide to one of the most essential tricks that can help you attain this statehood, the 360.

In order to do a 360, which is simply a three hundred and sixty degree rotation in the air, there are a few steps, some of which might seem unorthodox, or perhaps wholly unnecessary. Nonetheless they are vital in attaining the true awesomeness that a 360 can impart. The first step is procuring an appropriate wardrobe. The word ‘appropriate’ is used sparingly, as in almost any other social circle, this dress would most certainly be considered ludicrous. In regards to dank skiing, long and baggy clothes are a must. If your shirt doesn’t go past your knees, you might as well give up. Wear bright contrasting colors apt to blinding onlookers' vision (temporary blindness increases perceived epicness of tricks performed), and don’t wear a helmet. Wearing a helmet implies acknowledgement of reality, diminishing the nonchalant quality of a wicked skier. Once you get your “fit” sorted out, you’re almost there, and you’ll feel pretty cool, too! The second step in the process of throwing a 360 would be to find an appropriate spot. Safety enthusiasts and conservatively minded skiers will often encourage a smaller jump, with a poppy lip and a flat landing. I have found these people to almost have universally skipped step #1. What you really need is a huge spot, devoid of “safe landings” and “access to help if hurt”. What this does is amplify the extreme nature of your send, if the surroundings are large and high consequence, so must your trick be. A few acceptable spots would be:


Giant cliff (40+ feet; powder optional)
Giant jump (60+ feet, must be icy)
Giant building (Concrete provides forgiving landing)

If you successfully navigate to a spot similar to those described, then you’re ready for the big step # 3: sending the 360!

The actual spin is not that difficult. First you will wind up your arms. When you approach the lip of the jump, pop off the ground and spin your arms. Make sure to keep them level so as not to get off axis. Similarly, keep your head facing forward, and try to spot the landing as soon as possible. After some practice (and maybe some injuries) you should get it! For extra steeze, consider grabbing “safety”: grab below your boot with the correlating hand. The next two steps are what you should do after the 360 - both long term and short term. First, you want to make sure you’re riding away from the trick in style, in accordance with the massive stunt you just pulled. This “afterbang” (derived from the english words “after” and “bang”) lets people know that awesome spin you just did was easy. It was actually so easy that you put more effort into your dress and what you do after the trick than the trick itself. And that… is cool. It is characterized by a relaxing of the body, sitting back, and just letting the speed take you down. Pro skier and personal icon of mine, Tom Wallisch, describes it as: “You bounce a bit and you let your, like, your arms just, yeah, and then you just [bounces].” After some trial and error, you will find the afterbang that suits your best and really exemplifies the radical nature of your doings. While all of this is happening, you should have your buddy on the camcorder, capturing every precious moment of this process. This brings us to our last step: posting your gnarly video on Newschoolers.com. Why do any of this if not for the recognition and praise of your fellow skiers? Upload that baby and just wait for the plethora of comments and likes you’re sure to receive! But make sure not to upload to any social media sites such as Instagram, you would be a lowly clout chaser in the eyes of your peers. As long as you remain underground and only show your skiing to other ski friends, then you will remain steezy.If you follow all these steps, then you will, in no time at all, become a great skier.

Js wrote this for school.. kinda gave up at the end but thought I'd post haha. don't judge it's not a serious project.