Hello, Newschoolers.
It’s my pleasure, and great privilege, to present to you an idea I’ve been working on for some time now. Now, this isn’t your ordinary, run-of-the-mill idea. This is revolutionary. I mean, we’re talking big chapungas here. Something that will lay the foundation for millennia of sustainable and lucrative business infrastructure. There’s never been an idea quite like it, which is why I, from the most well-meaning and deepest recess of my heart, implore you to hearken like you’ve never hearkened before; to drop everything you’re doing and direct the entirety of your attention to the plans I’m about to propose; to pledge, most sincerely, your allegiance and cooperation; to commit your life to the betterment of humanity, as we step, together, into an unprecedented era of innovative partnership. Don’t miss your chance to be a part of something bigger than history, more important and meaningful than the most sacred religious texts. Please, listen, as I bring to you my plan, for whose completion I’ve toiled and suffered greater than any martyr, and perfected to incalculable precision. Upon the inception of this plan, there will be one race, one currency, one nation, one creed. There will be no war, no famine, no poverty, no discrimination. My plan is hilariously fool-proof, and as I grueled night and day, hour after hour, with hardly any rest or dietary sustenance, one question looped in my mind, tormenting me with its buffoonery: Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? Its premise is so obvious; something that should have been discovered during the earliest stage of civilized human development. Upon its discovery, I began laughing hysterically—so hard I keeled over in pain and lay on the floor for hours, struggling to remain conscious. My ribs hurt. My stomach begged to be filled. And then, without warning, I forgot what it was. It left like a black father after the delivery of his newborn baby. And I was left sprawled on the floor, empty of laughs or any recollection of my great plan, and on the verge of tears. And so, Newschoolers, I urge you to help prompt my memory; let be found what is lost. The reward is in the title.
**This thread was edited on Feb 1st 2024 at 4:53:41am
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