Hi I hope this email finds you well,
If your reading this its already too late,
I am writing because I looked through my partners phone to find out if they were cheating on me and I realised that Vail ski resorts is on a very dangerous trajectory and will completely fuck up our lives.
By 2030 Vail ski resorts will have enforced triboelectric chargers on the bases of everyones skis and snowboards and you wont be able to ski or snowboard unless your charging a 500kw battery that you are carrying on your back that they will later use to mine ethereum. The entire world will be forced to ski and snowboard meaning lift cues will be fucked and the strain of the batteries on everyones back will give them scoliosis.
Snowboarding will be marketed as cooler which will revive the rivalry and create a divide and its because they have a larger surface area they can use to charge these batteries and therefore as a snowboarder you will have to carry as bigger battery
Vail resorts will enter the drug market pressing the white V pills and when you pop one you will release so much dopamine that you will start vibrating at 777hz which will upload all intuitive thoughts to the Big Ski neurolink. They have already been doing this for a long time because I remember all employees were doped up circa 2015 (trigger warning, proxy trigger warning, misunderstanding warning, woke warning, warning warning, unhappiness warning) because this lift attendant went to scan my ticket and said "spread em" so he could get to the ticket easier and I did because I was scared but I said "that's gay" (I know I'm sorry it was 2015) and his rebuttal was "youre the one pointing at your dick!" (I was only a minor). The point here is I have confessed for these sins and taken ownership for my actions whereas its highly unlikely that he has taken responsibility and therefore probably still hasn't changed as a person which is super crazy to think about.
I already know that Vail have found out that I know about this because they keep sending people with loud cars with loud exhaust pipes on them to disturb the peace. These people are dangerous and they get out of their loud cars and laugh loudly and I know they are doing this maliciously
A quick word on blocking ads
It looks like you are using an ad blocker. That's okay. Who doesn't? But without advertising revenue, we can't keep making this site awesome. Click the link below for instructions on disabling adblock.
