Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Real Talk Ski Descriptions

profile picture
tdollo
Posts: 3770 - Karma: 18,527
Prodigy 0.0 - If you like doing zero tricks, and pull zero chicks, faction has your back
Mantra 106 - Wife #3 and looking to take your anger out on the slopes? Here's the ski for you
QST 98 - Never spoken to a woman?
Vision 108 - I'm having a vision and I see lot's of warranties in your future
ARV 96 - Is that gondola on fire or are they hotboxing it again
Any DPS - What colour is your tesla?


Show me what you got
Oct 10 2022 7:29PM
88 0
profile picture
nickssucks
Posts: 45 - Karma: 951
Vishnu Wet- I'm gonna move out of my mom's basement next year, I swear.
Oct 10 2022 7:40PM
120 0
profile picture
PsychicMigration
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 10,540
head - the equivalent of owning a wavestorm
Oct 10 2022 7:57PM
32 2
profile picture
VV.XTREME
Posts: 491 - Karma: 2,993
Jskis - the equivalent of owning a Rasta wave storm
DummyBearshead - the equivalent of owning a wavestorm
Oct 10 2022 8:22PM
54 0
profile picture
lil.Boye
Posts: 2640 - Karma: 11,980
jet skis: ţ̴̺̇͠ḣ̷̦̳̚ē̸̱̯̺̂s̶̫̅ę̷͇͔̠͓̣̘͓̫́̄͑͑͒͑̎͋̄̋ͅ ̶̢̛̟͙͇͚̘͛͑̓̽̌̏͝ṣ̴̻͌̇̂̀̄k̷̡̝̀́i̶̪̺̣͊̃̃͊̀̽̂͛̍̿s̷̈́̏̋͛͒͜͝ ̸̢̡̢̰̣̯́̋̓͊ą̴̣̰̰͙̩̩͖̝̘̇͗̾́̇͛̐̎r̶̛̲̯̣̬̮̥͔̀͝ę̶̳̰̗͚͑͆̌̓͘ ̴̢̲̞͔̝͍̱͇͙̌s̴̥̣̯̽͛̈̈ö̸͓͕͔̦̺̗́̓̏̈́̃̽̊͌͜ ̸̧̪͔̝̺̥͇̪͈̜̉̔͐͋̅̐̀̅̔͝c̶̡̨̛̘̼̜͔͈̹̈́̄͜͝ͅợ̴͗̉̒̓̊̐̏̆͝ŕ̶̠̱͚̰̅̉͗̅̆͝͝ͅȩ̶̛̭͈̝̺̪̬̞̰̈̔̎̀́͠ͅ,̸̳͕̞̼͐̀͊̂͊͌̌̏̚ ̶̧͉̣̰̱̝̜̟̔͘͜b̶̨̗̪͔̥̗̫̬̞̩̏̑u̸̡̹̯͓͓̍̓ẗ̴̨̫͎͉͕̭́́͠ͅ ̶̡̲͎͔̱͂̾́̀d̵͈͈̻͈̞̔̀͠ͅo̸͚͗͒̍͑͒͗͜n̴̤̣̓͆̒̏̋̂͑̋̅͠'̸̜̤͚͉͇̪͊͂̒t̷͈͖̝̲̳͑͌̐̎̔̀̏͘͠͝ ̴͐̄͝ͅt̸̻̣͎͈̬̣͕̞̜̎͌̓͒̑̌̑̌͆͘e̷̢̻̩̫͚̤͚̿̇̒̾̑̎̊͜͜͝l̸̙̬̣͚̫̭̔̃̍̽̇̑͠ľ̵̛̮̫̈́̓̔͑̽͝ ̶̡͔̻̘̯̙̭͖̤̏̀̂́̈͝ạ̴̪̫̯̥͕̉͐͛̉̈͒͘ẏ̶̡̧̧̹̱̠̏͜ͅó̴̡̢͈͇̗̭̻̗̾̽̓̎̿͝ņ̶̛̱̩̬͉̅͗̾̈́̏͊͂̈́̚͜ȇ̸̢̞͖̦̮̫͔͙͔͋̒̆̈́̚̚
Oct 10 2022 9:29PM
86 0
profile picture
weastcoat
Posts: 6419 - Karma: 74,049
1000 skis: I’m paying twice as much as already-expensive skis for some red blends just to save .001 cubic meter of emissions!!


armada: my skis are super sick but the sidewalls are made with Lego plastic so it’s chill
Oct 10 2022 9:55PM
70 0
profile picture
dwt802
Posts: 3237 - Karma: 31,954
HG Skis: Labatt Blue

Revision Skis: You’re skis are on their way, be patient!

Line: 3 pairs, one season, hope you like them

**This post was edited on Oct 10th 2022 at 10:17:52pm
Oct 10 2022 10:14PM
46 0
profile picture
mookieman
Posts: 1 - Karma: 61
Moment: You’re likely a member of the Church of Scientology, too
Oct 10 2022 10:32PM
37 2
profile picture
Knapzach
Posts: 471 - Karma: 5,144
Icelantic- you're either on beat nomad 95/105s or just in it for the art
Oct 10 2022 10:41PM
43 0
profile picture
bennwithtwons
Posts: 1359 - Karma: 10,817
Black crows- touring boots and pin bindings are every bit as good for resort days as alpine setups and I saved 140 grams!

any Rossi pow ski- when I was your age, we didn’t have double tip skis but if we did, I’m sure I could have done a triple helicopter
Oct 10 2022 10:50PM
56 0
profile picture
RIP_leos_shack
Posts: 710 - Karma: 3,200
ON3P - I got tired of breaking Lines and Armadas
Oct 10 2022 10:57PM
67 0
profile picture
Schoess
Posts: 2079 - Karma: 24,839
ON3P Jeffery 102: There is nothing I am not good at
Oct 10 2022 11:44PM
32 44
profile picture
Pablo_Sanchez
Posts: 697 - Karma: 5,520
Volkl bash 86/revolt 90: got airbag practice at 6 tomorrow, gotta polish those mute 16s
Oct 10 2022 11:52PM
49 0
profile picture
partyandBS
Posts: 4483 - Karma: 69,000
Vishnu Wide 189- be a unique core skier by getting the same ski as every other unique core skier
Oct 11 2022 12:23AM
46 2
profile picture
SupremeChairlift
Posts: 302 - Karma: 3,811
Whatever skis I'm riding - You're 24 years old and still too scared to talk to pretty girls

**This post was edited on Oct 11th 2022 at 12:28:09am
Oct 11 2022 12:26AM
67 0
profile picture
BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9337 - Karma: 68,200
Armada ARV 106/faction Candide 2.0-you absolutely tear up all mountain freestyle skiing
Oct 11 2022 12:50AM
8 22
profile picture
Bentchettyjack
Posts: 11 - Karma: 130
Bent Chetler 120s- you think you ride the same lines and throw tricks like the pros but spend your days carving groomers with your step children
Oct 11 2022 1:11AM
61 0
profile picture
TreeJam
Posts: 352 - Karma: 3,337
Sego bighorn: makes the whole mountain a playground
Oct 11 2022 1:34AM
74 2
profile picture
tdollo
Posts: 3770 - Karma: 18,527
Vishnu Wet 189cm - You took advice from Newschoolers and think skiing without poles is "swerve"
Oct 11 2022 5:15AM
32 0
profile picture
Ball_Sacker
Posts: 127 - Karma: 1,082
bent chetler mini- if the snow was deep enough i would backflip
Oct 11 2022 9:31AM
33 0
profile picture
BingPow
Posts: 568 - Karma: 5,494
DummyBearshead - the equivalent of owning a wavestorm


VV.XTREMEJskis - the equivalent of owning a Rasta wave storm


wavestorms are ill
Oct 11 2022 9:41AM
6 0
profile picture
olddirty
Posts: 722 - Karma: 2,797
Nordica Enforcer- Beats wife back at the condo after 10 IPAs with the work buddies
Oct 11 2022 9:41AM
46 0
profile picture
bootspace
Posts: 391 - Karma: 3,262
elan ripstick- 40 years old and wanted a ski that could "rip groomers"
Oct 11 2022 10:02AM
30 0
profile picture
Freethaheel
Posts: 19 - Karma: 289
Freeheel life protector- I hope people can really tell I telemark
Oct 11 2022 10:21AM
10 0
profile picture
CharlieSutcliffe
Posts: 13 - Karma: 53
Misfit skis: core af and actually has a claim to be on the wave “before it was cool” kuz you preordered
Oct 11 2022 10:25AM
8 27
profile picture
TroyBallsack
Posts: 571 - Karma: 11,101
honeybadger - you are either sponsored or its your first time park skiing
Oct 11 2022 11:10AM
46 1
profile picture
VV.XTREME
Posts: 491 - Karma: 2,993
I agree
BingPowwavestorms are ill
Oct 11 2022 11:27AM
1 0
profile picture
Chunderface
Posts: 2513 - Karma: 9,815
Moment: you post on r/skiing and might...just might own a Ruroc.
Oct 11 2022 11:46AM
21 6
profile picture
bennwithtwons
Posts: 1359 - Karma: 10,817
BentchettyjackBent Chetler 120s- you think you ride the same lines and throw tricks like the pros but spend your days carving groomers with your step children


haha nice. i was trying hard to think of a good one for the chetlers but i think you nailed it better than i would have
Oct 11 2022 11:48AM
11 0
profile picture
IsaacNW82
Posts: 769 - Karma: 6,693
Season Kin - For the aging freestyle skier who hasn't spun more than 3 this decade
Stockli Stormrider - How's retirement from ski racing going?
Any Gilson - How's 8th grade going?
Ultralight touring skis - Have a huge superiority complex but aren't actually that good at skiing? Try Backcountry!
Fat-ypus A-lotta - Circa 2008 ski technology that makes you look really cool when doing your 3 laps in Summit County before getting unbelievably crossfaded
WNDR skis - If you know nothing about material science but want to brag to your friends about the fancy materials in your skis!
Oct 11 2022 11:53AM
27 0
profile picture
TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12506 - Karma: 116,112
Surface Outsider: these arent skis
Oct 11 2022 11:54AM
32 0
profile picture
tri_photo
Posts: 1530 - Karma: 7,195
Salomon - you're still here?
Oct 11 2022 12:24PM
17 0
profile picture
ZachRyan
Posts: 332 - Karma: 2,279
VV.XTREMEJskis - the equivalent of owning a Rasta wave storm


I dont even rasta dude
Oct 11 2022 12:30PM
0 0
profile picture
ZachRyan
Posts: 332 - Karma: 2,279
CharlieSutcliffeMisfit skis: core af and actually has a claim to be on the wave “before it was cool” kuz you preordered


lol Charlie. We know the misfit boys have something good going, gotta hope they can turn a profit and not dump their life savings into a indie ski brand.
Oct 11 2022 12:47PM
12 0
profile picture
Farmville420
Posts: 4695 - Karma: 60,349
Poachers - you blame your inability to butter on the skis and you’re getting new twigs “when these break” but it’s been 5 years and you don’t even have a single edge crack
Oct 11 2022 12:51PM
55 0
profile picture
PsychicMigration
Posts: 2099 - Karma: 10,540
Libtech - skis made by a surfboard company
Oct 11 2022 1:00PM
21 0
profile picture
mott
Posts: 258 - Karma: 2,095
Farmville420Poachers - you blame your inability to butter on the skis and you’re getting new twigs “when these break” but it’s been 5 years and you don’t even have a single edge crack


best description
Oct 11 2022 1:28PM
17 0
profile picture
GayWolf420
Posts: 37379 - Karma: 119,910
Black Crows: Lets go wait around for Mineral Basin to open for 4 hours.
Oct 11 2022 1:37PM
23 0
profile picture
ProfessorOak
Posts: 121 - Karma: 1,237
Any nerdica enforcers ever - snowbird gear review reader starter pack
Oct 11 2022 3:41PM
10 0
profile picture
KCoCM
Posts: 963 - Karma: 8,782
Farmville420Poachers - you blame your inability to butter on the skis and you’re getting new twigs “when these break” but it’s been 5 years and you don’t even have a single edge crack


I was def gunna give poachers a go if someone hadnt already done it XD
Oct 11 2022 6:30PM
3 0
profile picture
KCoCM
Posts: 963 - Karma: 8,782
i feel like jeffrey 102s are: "i swear these rip in the park bro I just havent had the chance yet this year since the mountain has just been so fire, you know?"
Oct 11 2022 6:34PM
33 0
profile picture
VV.XTREME
Posts: 491 - Karma: 2,993
ZachRyanI dont even rasta dude


love you zach! good thing it aint the regular wavestorm
Oct 11 2022 7:21PM
2 0
profile picture
bennwithtwons
Posts: 1359 - Karma: 10,817
Hellbents- I swear pow skis were perfected in 2010: when rent was cheap, the only kind of carbonated drink was beer, and you could work all summer as a firefighter and live out of your Tacoma all winter, never washing your XL non-matching first drop gear because chicks dig dudes who don’t give a fuck and have 90s sleeping bag insulation dripping out of their torn pants.

Plus, I only ski pow switch cause I’m not a pussy
Oct 11 2022 7:32PM
27 0
profile picture
VV.XTREME
Posts: 491 - Karma: 2,993
Liberty helix: grouse mountain skier, NPC, flocks in groups of other helixers, *max moffat wannabe*
Oct 11 2022 7:55PM
14 0
profile picture
K-Dot.
Posts: 3739 - Karma: 7,737
any older surfaces - you mind if I bum a ride? I can spot you some of the worst shake you’ve ever smoked

custom park on3ps - I worked all summer at the law firm my dad owns to pay these off, thank you very much
Oct 11 2022 8:11PM
31 0
profile picture
Christian_Bale
Posts: 1914 - Karma: 21,463
SchoessON3P Jeffery 102: There is nothing I am not good at


Oct 12 2022 1:30AM
21 0
profile picture
S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,185
Full tilt boots- I got these because of no shin bang and Tom Wallisch.

K2 boots- I got these because it’s what my boot fitter recommended.
Oct 12 2022 2:24AM
16 0
profile picture
EmbraceTheSPEEED
Posts: 37 - Karma: 273
S.J.WFull tilt boots- I got these because of no shin bang and Tom Wallisch.

K2 boots- I got these because it’s what my boot fitter recommended.

Do boot fitters usually recommend K2 boots? If so, why?
Oct 12 2022 10:01AM
0 9
profile picture
Chunderface
Posts: 2513 - Karma: 9,815
SlidingIsFunDo boot fitters usually recommend K2 boots? If so, why?


Oh look, its Abomber
Oct 12 2022 10:18AM
12 0
profile picture
Schoess
Posts: 2079 - Karma: 24,839
Ok, here's one....

Line Afterbang: only $300 because you get to buy 3 sets a season

Haha my homie rode a pair for like 2 years and they were legit a hazard to his health for over 1.5 of that. I realize it's an old ski but I remember them being pretty popular back in the day
Christian_Bale
Oct 12 2022 3:36PM
5 1
profile picture
macfive
Posts: 138 - Karma: 684
ARV106 - Think your sick as shit, but skip out on doing tricks.
Oct 12 2022 4:10PM
2 1
All times are Eastern (-5)