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December, 2024

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The gnomes are coming

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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
A few days ago, in the woods on my property, I came across a ceramic gnome. I thought it was kinda weird, especially because it looks like it hasn't been there for very long.

Here is a picture of the gnome exactly as I found it - I hadn't touched it at the time of the picture.




Last night, I had a few friends over for a fire and a some drinks. I told them about the gnome and they wanted to see it, so I went and retrieved it from the stump. I took a video:


https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/1044519/Snapchat-802090476-hevc-mp4
When I got back to the fire, we made a shocking discovery. The gnome has my name written on it.




I checked with the people who built the house in 2005 and no one else named Dylan has ever lived here.

What do you think, should I protect him? Destroy him? Put him back?

Am I going to be murdered by gnomes?
Jun 11 2022 4:43PM
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little1337
Posts: 8272 - Karma: 48,472
Well this definitely isnt a good sign, I'd say sell the house, leave the kids and change your name.
Jun 11 2022 4:45PM
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Abomber22
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 5,251
You're a woodsman.
Gnomes are woodsmen.

I think you know what you have to do.
Jun 11 2022 7:41PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439



Jun 11 2022 10:33PM
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HypeBeast
Posts: 9813 - Karma: 72,821
Nah but the drug trafficker named Dylan you stole the gnome from his dead drop is gonna kill you no doubt. The gnome is full of drugs.
Jun 12 2022 12:11AM
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switchlip2
Posts: 2142 - Karma: 25,116
They are inside my walls
Jun 12 2022 12:43AM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12526 - Karma: 116,472
https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/1063284/youve-been-gnomed-wmv
Jun 12 2022 12:47AM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
switchlip2They are inside my walls



Jun 12 2022 12:48AM
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jl4w
Posts: 122 - Karma: 879
switchlip2They are inside my walls


getoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyhead
Jun 14 2022 10:31AM
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skierman
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 7,774
Fuck off back to 4chan with this weak and stupid shit.
Jun 14 2022 1:04PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
skiermanFuck off back to 4chan with this weak and stupid shit.


I was gonna post it there but the faunt kept getting bigger and I couldn't figure out why
Jun 14 2022 1:27PM
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partyandBS
Posts: 4875 - Karma: 75,240
Jun 14 2022 1:37PM
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BrandoComando
Posts: 1486 - Karma: 18,758
Getting an Altoid hummer is the only answer when you find a forest gnome
Jun 14 2022 5:18PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
I have an update:

The gnome has been living in our house peacefully since I posted this. He has recently realized his lifelong dream of becoming an astronaut.

Just this week he was accepted to a special, 3 day training program at NASA.












Jul 1 2022 2:42PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439












Jul 1 2022 2:45PM
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DominatorJacques
Posts: 11234 - Karma: 76,358
TheMoostafian














Nice work. You may have too much time on your hands!


https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/1045911/Styx---Too-Much-Time-On-My-Hands
Jul 1 2022 6:58PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
The gnome completed flight training today. He had some trouble with the flight simulator but Elon Musk still let him graduate.























Apparently he will be taking his first rocket flight into orbit on Sunday.
Jul 2 2022 2:55AM
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Granby_killdozer
Posts: 2394 - Karma: -12,160
Gnomes killed my family. They are not to be trusted.
Jul 2 2022 8:31AM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18231 - Karma: 12,390
praying for OP in these tough times, once you find a gnome in the woods its been said that youve been cursed
Jul 2 2022 5:59PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
Jul 2 2022 8:37PM
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Abomber22
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 5,251
Oh fuck.
The Gnomranaut has no idea
Control has made no plans for a recovery team, post launch.
TheMoostafian
Jul 2 2022 9:45PM
3 1
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Itsnotmywallet
Posts: 303 - Karma: 3,824
Didn't I make a topsheet with this?
Jul 2 2022 9:53PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
PattolanDidn't I make a topsheet with this?


Yes
Jul 2 2022 9:54PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
First test launch failed. Oh well, probably nothing to read into there.


https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/1045966/VID-20680205-122709-495-hevc-mp4
Jul 3 2022 3:34AM
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Abomber22
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 5,251
Idk...... got off the launch pad
TheMoostafianFirst test launch failed. Oh well, probably nothing to read into there.


https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/1045966/VID-20680205-122709-495-hevc-mp4
Jul 3 2022 7:33AM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37636 - Karma: 122,945
Can we get more gnome updates?
Jul 3 2022 10:21AM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
Abomber22Idk...... got off the launch pad


It broke apart and started spinning around at about 200ft
Jul 3 2022 12:33PM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
DeebieSkeebiesCan we get more gnome updates?



Jul 4 2022 12:17AM
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Abomber22
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 5,251
helmet or no helmet?
TheMoostafian
Jul 4 2022 7:25AM
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TheMoostafian
Posts: 4504 - Karma: 9,439
First launch failed. He flew about 30 feet into the woods.

We found him today and he's already taken pretty well to his new rocket ship.


Jul 5 2022 10:16PM
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partyandBS
Posts: 4875 - Karma: 75,240
To the moon!
Jul 5 2022 10:54PM
4 0
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