Replying to I just can't get the hang of park skiing

I don't wanna sound like a little bitch with this thread, and I hope I don't make it too long either, but I just don't really know what I'm doing wrong. I also have no idea how to really progress. I started skiing about two years ago, this being my second season, and I remember having trouble linking my turns without lifting up my uphill ski. Now I rip the entire mountain, spraying snow everywhere and hitting shifty's and 3s on whatever lip I can find. But park skiing is completely foreign to me. At the start of the season I was set on progressing in park, and hitting my first 3 in the small park felt so good. But now it's like I've hit a roadblock. I rarely ever even hit jumps anymore, even when I'm with my friends and we just run park laps the entire day. I end up just pussying out and going off the knuckle, and on the rare occasion that I feel like going for a 3 on the medium line, I don't commit and end up stopping at a 180 and sometimes flat out eat shit because of it. I can barely even mute and my body always tilts when I try a tail grab, it's like my awareness and composure disappears as soon as I'm in the air.

Maybe it's the fear of getting hurt that's holding me back. I've gotten 4 or 5 concussions the last two months from trying things in the park over and over again. Maybe park skiing just isn't for me. And yet, I feel like if you want something bad enough, you'll do whatever you need to do to make it happen. To be honest, landing a 3 doesn't give me anywhere close to the adrenaline rush a solid run down the mountain does. Maybe I only wanna ski park for the ooo's and ahh's from other people. Fuck, maybe I just want to feel like I belong on ns and have a reason to rock my goggles under my helmet and ride park skis.

I don't know what happened. Just a few weeks ago I was having fun and enjoying hitting the park with my friend; legitimately spending a good 6 hours just riding park. Whether I landed the trick or ate it, I kept going back for more. Maybe today was just a bad day.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant.