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larilinesignHeh this reminds me of my first time. I got skiing lessons and I was speeding down the bunny hill trying to stop. The I structor kept yelling "PIZZA PIZZA" but I was panicking too much to concentrate. I ended up colliding with some little kid. I was fine, but my knee slammed into the kid's head, resulting in a major concussion. Blood was everywhere. Then the boys dad, a tall, husky fellow started yelling at me saying that I killed his son so he pulled his ski mask off and I was face to face with the father of the child I just killed. Black, slightly fraying hair. A receding hairline indicated he was going naked soon. Thick eyebrows, complimented with a goatee resembling General Zod. He proceeded to breathe fire on my face until it was nothing but a skull covered in burned, charred flesh. But miraculously, I survived. I decided to get back at the father by impaling him with one of my ski poles. The pole went through his abdomen, probably punctured his intestines. He would die a slow, painful, septic death as the bacteria in his colon would destroy the rest of his internal organs, but then he just laughed and caked me, and I quote "a foolish young boy who has much to learn." Figuring hat further conflict was pointless, I decided to runaway from the ski lodge and move to New Mexico where a fellow with a pseudonym named "Heisenberg" taught me how to cook crystal meth since his partner Jesse left him. I'm not a meth user in the slightest, but the drug empire was exciting and taught me things about life that I never understood. I had to leave eventually because good ol' Heisenberg kept complaining to be about how his wife "fucked Ted" and I got tired of it. Using the skills I learned about the criminal underworld, I went on a mission to Somalia to take down those evil pirates. Unfortunately, my boat crashed into some rocks and I sunk to the bottom of the sea where I discovered the lost kingdom of Atlantis. I met King Triton where he called me a "strange fellow" but taught me how to breathe underwater. I navigated my way back to the US through the Atlantic ocean. arriving in the beach shores of Florida, I met an individual know. As Negan who knocked me unconscious with a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire which he affectionately referred to as "Lucille." I woke up tied to a chair in some abandoned warehouse. Negan stood in front of me with Lucille, claiming he was going to "best the holy fucking fuckedy fuck" out of me unless he told me where Rick Grimes was. I told him they were headed to Washington DC to find a cure to the virus that turned people into flesh eating zombies. He let me go, but not without a swing to the back of one of my knees for good luck. Limping on one leg, I made my way to the nearest home depot to buy some supplies needed to construct a prosthetic leg. I was just standing in the parking lot eating a bowl of ramen to satisfy my hunger, enjoying this fine fall weather. A bead of sweat glazed my brow as I was not dressed for the occasion in a black waffle shirt and jeans. In the distance I heard a baby crying. Motherless. Poor dear. But suddenly I saw a green figure coming towards me. Foolishly thinking it was a man in need of help I approached. But as it came nearer I distinguished that it was not a man, but a rather tall tree in a plastic pot. It made haste towards me and I stumbled over myself changing directions. I ran back towards the safety of the pavement but it had gained too quickly. With its wispy branch it grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around, chanting some sort of inaudible chant. Next thing I knew the plastic pot had connected with my scrotum. There was no pain, just sorrow, grief, and a heave that resembled an inebriate after one too many beers. I collapsed to the ground. The world went grey. There was a ringing that resembled a flash bang grenade. And now i'm working an office job for a box company under a manager by the name of Randy Nations who laughs at my dreams of participating in a walkabout in the Australian outback.
**This post was edited on Oct 21st 2020 at 2:41:30pm
larilinesignHeh this reminds me of my first time. I got skiing lessons and I was speeding down the bunny hill trying to stop. The I structor kept yelling "PIZZA PIZZA" but I was panicking too much to concentrate. I ended up colliding with some little kid. I was fine, but my knee slammed into the kid's head, resulting in a major concussion. Blood was everywhere. Then the boys dad, a tall, husky fellow started yelling at me saying that I killed his son so he pulled his ski mask off and I was face to face with the father of the child I just killed. Black, slightly fraying hair. A receding hairline indicated he was going naked soon. Thick eyebrows, complimented with a goatee resembling General Zod. He proceeded to breathe fire on my face until it was nothing but a skull covered in burned, charred flesh. But miraculously, I survived. I decided to get back at the father by impaling him with one of my ski poles. The pole went through his abdomen, probably punctured his intestines. He would die a slow, painful, septic death as the bacteria in his colon would destroy the rest of his internal organs, but then he just laughed and caked me, and I quote "a foolish young boy who has much to learn." Figuring hat further conflict was pointless, I decided to runaway from the ski lodge and move to New Mexico where a fellow with a pseudonym named "Heisenberg" taught me how to cook crystal meth since his partner Jesse left him. I'm not a meth user in the slightest, but the drug empire was exciting and taught me things about life that I never understood. I had to leave eventually because good ol' Heisenberg kept complaining to be about how his wife "fucked Ted" and I got tired of it. Using the skills I learned about the criminal underworld, I went on a mission to Somalia to take down those evil pirates. Unfortunately, my boat crashed into some rocks and I sunk to the bottom of the sea where I discovered the lost kingdom of Atlantis. I met King Triton where he called me a "strange fellow" but taught me how to breathe underwater. I navigated my way back to the US through the Atlantic ocean. arriving in the beach shores of Florida, I met an individual know. As Negan who knocked me unconscious with a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire which he affectionately referred to as "Lucille." I woke up tied to a chair in some abandoned warehouse. Negan stood in front of me with Lucille, claiming he was going to "best the holy fucking fuckedy fuck" out of me unless he told me where Rick Grimes was. I told him they were headed to Washington DC to find a cure to the virus that turned people into flesh eating zombies. He let me go, but not without a swing to the back of one of my knees for good luck. Limping on one leg, I made my way to the nearest home depot to buy some supplies needed to construct a prosthetic leg. I was just standing in the parking lot eating a bowl of ramen to satisfy my hunger, enjoying this fine fall weather. A bead of sweat glazed my brow as I was not dressed for the occasion in a black waffle shirt and jeans. In the distance I heard a baby crying. Motherless. Poor dear. But suddenly I saw a green figure coming towards me. Foolishly thinking it was a man in need of help I approached. But as it came nearer I distinguished that it was not a man, but a rather tall tree in a plastic pot. It made haste towards me and I stumbled over myself changing directions. I ran back towards the safety of the pavement but it had gained too quickly. With its wispy branch it grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around, chanting some sort of inaudible chant. Next thing I knew the plastic pot had connected with my scrotum. There was no pain, just sorrow, grief, and a heave that resembled an inebriate after one too many beers. I collapsed to the ground. The world went grey. There was a ringing that resembled a flash bang grenade. And now i'm working an office job for a box company under a manager by the name of Randy Nations who laughs at my dreams of participating in a walkabout in the Australian outback.
**This post was edited on Oct 21st 2020 at 2:41:30pm
