I got hauled off the beach by the Miami cops

I was out bronzing my balls in the sun thinking I had a private beach because it was so empty, an officer approached me and told me due to the virus I had to leave. I had some blow in my swim shorts and was just busting out lines on my iPad - so I wasn't going down because I was paranoid and thought this asshole saw me. I told this son of a bitch fuck that when he was about 10 feet away, got up, started running towards the water and swimming out into the ocean. I began to tread water a few feet out and then I found a sand bar and just stood around. This son of a bitch wouldn't leave me alone and phoned for his 4 wheeler asshole buddy to come roll up. I don't believe his shit and just keep going deeper out onto the sand bar. Three of these fuckers roll up in fucking beach gear and swim out to apprehend me, they asked me if I wanted to go easy and I fuckin started swimming. These guys were like navy seals or something and eventually caught up to me, I was piss face drunk, also did a couple miami nose beers - but it was just a bad decision. They brought me to shore, beat my ass a little bit, but not like fully rodney king, slammed my face in the sand, all that shit. Dude puts me on the back of the fucking dogfucking 4 wheeler and rolls me out to the fucking strip. I got disorderly conduct for disgruntled swimming which carries misdemeanor charges, lost the columbian bam bam iPad, spent the night in jail. I ditched the stash in the ocean though. Probably won't get seen in court for months because of the virus so that's a plus