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Am I a terrible person

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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
So the other day I was browsing the Craigslist free section and saw that someone was giving away a piano. I did a little research and found out that this piano, a Steinway & Sons upright, is worth $10K+ in good condition, and this one is in perfect condition and recently tuned.

The only problem is that the person giving it away is an old lady who's husband just died, and she wants to gift it to a good home who will appreciate it because having it in her house is reminding her of her husband too much. Really sad story and I feel bad for her, but she offered to have professional movers bring it to me today and I think I'm going to send it even though I intend to sell it immediately.

Deep down I'm feeling really guilty about this situation because I told her it would be a gift for my mom who is an avid pianist (not true lol) but at the same time that guilt will probably fade when I pay off all my credit card debt and still have a fat stack of cash to save/travel/buy lift tickets/whatever.

Would you guys do the same thing in my situation?
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Feb 28 2020 11:54AM
3 1
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ThunderChicken
Posts: 95 - Karma: 387
Piano's probably still going to a good home after you sell it, so if you think about it someone gets a good piano at retail price and you get your debt paid off so do what you gotta do my guy
Feb 28 2020 12:04PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
ThunderChickenPiano's probably still going to a good home after you sell it, so if you think about it someone gets a good piano at retail price and you get your debt paid off so do what you gotta do my guy


That's what I'm thinking and I'll probably sell it below market value so I can get rid of it quicker so someone will be getting a sick deal on a nice piano, and obviously it will be a good home if someone is willing to drop thousands of dollars on it

I'm also like $5K in the credit card hole right now and have been busting my ass trying to get that paid off and save up to move out west which hasn't been going great because both of my jobs cut my hours, so financially speaking I'd be an idiot to not take this opportunity

**This post was edited on Feb 28th 2020 at 12:11:29pm
Feb 28 2020 12:08PM
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backwoodbandit
Posts: 11 - Karma: 69
yeah sell the piano as long as you're cool with her dead husband's ghost haunting you
Feb 28 2020 12:16PM
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270on420out
Posts: 7519 - Karma: 51,243
You’re definitely getting haunted
Feb 28 2020 12:19PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
What if I donate like $2000 of the profit to a good cause, will that make it less morally fucked

**This post was edited on Feb 28th 2020 at 12:28:41pm
Feb 28 2020 12:28PM
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50Kal
Posts: 2835 - Karma: 5,534
No one just gives away pianos. Clearly when the movers show up they will ask “can You show us where you want it?” Then while walking into your place, they will chloroform you and harvest your organs.
Feb 28 2020 12:28PM
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,976
Maybe you should take piano lessons and dedicate your life to being the best pianist you can be. Or sell it and live out your life with guilt and shame.
Feb 28 2020 12:39PM
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3oh3
Posts: 61 - Karma: 371
At face value it sounds kind of bad but at the end of the day all this lady really wants is to have the piano out of her house to the point where she is paying professionals to remove it from her place. Obviously this piano brings up a ton of memories and it isn't something she wants to keep around. If you want to sell it, cool but I would at a minimum offer to pay her for the movers cost so that she doesn't end up paying money for you to make a few thousand dollars.
Feb 28 2020 12:43PM
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SofaKingSick
Posts: 9389 - Karma: 61,874
personally i think that's really scummy. the old lady is being super cool and trying to help out a young/not rich musician or group and you're going to flip her piano by lying to her? i don't like it
Feb 28 2020 12:46PM
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armchair_skier
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 30,258
If someone is willing to pay 10k for something they prolly will take better care of it.
Feb 28 2020 12:47PM
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J_Christoph
Posts: 2519 - Karma: 8,755
I agree with the above comment. You’re the middle man on its journey to a good home.
Feb 28 2020 12:50PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
Ok so slight update to the story:

She has already moved 2 states away, and the piano along with a bunch of her other belongings are in the possession of the movers. She had it on Craigslist for a while and nobody else hit her up about it (idk how but that's what she said). The movers are moving all of her things to her new place in Maryland next week, and she doesn't want them to bring the piano. She said if I don't take it, she will just leave it with the movers "to find it a good home" and I know for damn sure those movers are going to sell it immediately.

I know it's scummy and that's why I'm having such a hard time with it, idk if I could ever shake the guilt
Feb 28 2020 12:54PM
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Monsieur_Patate
Posts: 1393 - Karma: 4,307
I mean lying to the old lady to make a buck is not great, but it sounds like you could use the money, and it still gives her what she ultimately wants (the piano gone). I'd sell the piano, pay off your debt, and give the entirety of what's left to charity. And I really mean the entirety, not just a little bit to clear your conscience, simply use what you really need to pay off what you already owe, and that's it, any excess you have to give away.
It's really a matter of personal opinion, but that in my book, could make the whole thing sort of forgivable from a moral standpoint.

Do not let her pay for the movers though, that would be super shitty to have her pay out of pocket for you to make a buck.

You could also come clean to her, who knows she may appreciate the honestly and let you get the piano.
Feb 28 2020 12:58PM
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OregonDead
Posts: 6949 - Karma: 25,117
learn to play and then hustle for tips to pay off your debt
Feb 28 2020 1:05PM
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,976
Or stop by and hang out with the elerly lady and just tell her the truth. I'm sure she'll be disappointed but probably respect the truth and ask her what she would like you to do.
Your a dirt bag either way.
Feb 28 2020 1:20PM
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p3cific
Posts: 576 - Karma: 1,756
what would meek do ?
Feb 28 2020 1:23PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
DayManOk so slight update to the story:

She has already moved 2 states away, and the piano along with a bunch of her other belongings are in the possession of the movers. She had it on Craigslist for a while and nobody else hit her up about it (idk how but that's what she said). The movers are moving all of her things to her new place in Maryland next week, and she doesn't want them to bring the piano. She said if I don't take it, she will just leave it with the movers "to find it a good home" and I know for damn sure those movers are going to sell it immediately.

I know it's scummy and that's why I'm having such a hard time with it, idk if I could ever shake the guilt


TnskiOr stop by and hang out with the elerly lady and just tell her the truth. I'm sure she'll be disappointed but probably respect the truth and ask her what she would like you to do.
Your a dirt bag either way.


.
Feb 28 2020 1:32PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
Monsieur_PatateI mean lying to the old lady to make a buck is not great, but it sounds like you could use the money, and it still gives her what she ultimately wants (the piano gone). I'd sell the piano, pay off your debt, and give the entirety of what's left to charity. And I really mean the entirety, not just a little bit to clear your conscience, simply use what you really need to pay off what you already owe, and that's it, any excess you have to give away.
It's really a matter of personal opinion, but that in my book, could make the whole thing sort of forgivable from a moral standpoint.

Do not let her pay for the movers though, that would be super shitty to have her pay out of pocket for you to make a buck.

You could also come clean to her, who knows she may appreciate the honestly and let you get the piano.


I like this, I think I'll do this if I end up doing it at all
Feb 28 2020 1:36PM
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_Garagely_
Posts: 1948 - Karma: 3,250
As other people have said this can be a win-win. Flip the piano and sell to someone who appreciates it. You’ll profit and the piano goes to the setting she wanted. This is more good luck than a dilemma.
Feb 28 2020 2:10PM
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fries
Posts: 2978 - Karma: 7,521
While I partially agree with what everyone else is saying, I just feel like that's dirty money. I don't know that the short term gratification of securing the bag would outweigh the long term guilt for me. I just wouldn't want to benefit from an unfortunate situation.

Yeah, she is trying to get rid of it and nobody will take it at the moment... but I think if she were to know that her gift of something which once meant a lot to her husband has now become an opportunity for someone else to make a quick buck, I think that would be like pouring salt on the wound.
Feb 28 2020 2:19PM
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SofaKingSick
Posts: 9389 - Karma: 61,874
DayManOk so slight update to the story:

She has already moved 2 states away, and the piano along with a bunch of her other belongings are in the possession of the movers. She had it on Craigslist for a while and nobody else hit her up about it (idk how but that's what she said). The movers are moving all of her things to her new place in Maryland next week, and she doesn't want them to bring the piano. She said if I don't take it, she will just leave it with the movers "to find it a good home" and I know for damn sure those movers are going to sell it immediately.

I know it's scummy and that's why I'm having such a hard time with it, idk if I could ever shake the guilt


I know you’re not hitting refresh awaiting my opinion on this haha but that kinda makes me think you’re fine to do what you want with it

She doesn’t wanna deal with it, didn’t find a buyer, is leaving it with strangers who don’t play... I say you’re fine
Feb 28 2020 2:22PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
SofaKingSickI know you’re not hitting refresh awaiting my opinion on this haha but that kinda makes me think you’re fine to do what you want with it

She doesn’t wanna deal with it, didn’t find a buyer, is leaving it with strangers who don’t play... I say you’re fine


I actually have been refreshing this constantly to get more opinions because this situation is giving me so much anxiety hahah but yeah I really think at this point I'm gonna go ahead and try to make it happen.

BUT to take some of the load off my conscience I will be paying off my credit cards and donating the rest to charities. Rather than donating to large organizations who take in millions of dollars in donations every year I'd like to support some grassroots type good causes where my small-ish donation would be more significant and appreciated.

Let me know if you guys know of any cool foundations/organizations that fit that criteria! So far I'm thinking Sarah Burke Foundation, High Fives, my local animal shelter, etc.
Feb 28 2020 3:09PM
4 0
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OregonDead
Posts: 6949 - Karma: 25,117
DayManI actually have been refreshing this constantly to get more opinions because this situation is giving me so much anxiety hahah but yeah I really think at this point I'm gonna go ahead and try to make it happen.

BUT to take some of the load off my conscience I will be paying off my credit cards and donating the rest to charities. Rather than donating to large organizations who take in millions of dollars in donations every year I'd like to support some grassroots type good causes where my small-ish donation would be more significant and appreciated.

Let me know if you guys know of any cool foundations/organizations that fit that criteria! So far I'm thinking Sarah Burke Foundation, High Fives, my local animal shelter, etc.


I would try to find a local non profit music organization. There are volunteer community bands all over that are dedicated to performing free music as a community resource. You can donate to my band if you want to. We are trying to raise money for a new PA system and may need to find a new practice space soon. http://www.marioncountycitizensband.com/ If you decide to donate our director will get you all the info you need if you want to write it off your taxes
Feb 28 2020 3:24PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
OregonDeadI would try to find a local non profit music organization. There are volunteer community bands all over that are dedicated to performing free music as a community resource. You can donate to my band if you want to. We are trying to raise money for a new PA system and may need to find a new practice space soon. http://www.marioncountycitizensband.com/ If you decide to donate our director will get you all the info you need if you want to write it off your taxes


Ooh that’s a good idea I’ll look into that for sure. Also would be down to support your band so I’ll get in touch with you if this all works out
Feb 28 2020 3:42PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13993 - Karma: 49,693
TAKE THE DAMN PIANO
Feb 28 2020 3:44PM
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P-wurps
Posts: 215 - Karma: 1,207
You said you did "a little" research but doesn't hurt to double check any contingencies that might hurt the value of the piano. I buy/sell stuff all the time on craigslist and it's easy to see a good deal and get tunnel vision and end up missing something. I know nothing about pianos, but just saying to check the buying side too. Since you're essentially getting it for free it's not risky but would suck to expect getting maybe $8k and then finding out some part got replaced and now you can only get $2k for it. Best of luck though
Feb 28 2020 3:55PM
4 0
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SofaKingSick
Posts: 9389 - Karma: 61,874
DayManI actually have been refreshing this constantly to get more opinions because this situation is giving me so much anxiety hahah but yeah I really think at this point I'm gonna go ahead and try to make it happen.

BUT to take some of the load off my conscience I will be paying off my credit cards and donating the rest to charities. Rather than donating to large organizations who take in millions of dollars in donations every year I'd like to support some grassroots type good causes where my small-ish donation would be more significant and appreciated.

Let me know if you guys know of any cool foundations/organizations that fit that criteria! So far I'm thinking Sarah Burke Foundation, High Fives, my local animal shelter, etc.


that's cool, and the fact that you're even concerned about this means you're probably more ethics-minded than most which i think is great

your ideas are good. maybe a music-related donation would be in spirit? just spitballing

also, as ryan something said, i don't know anything about pianos but would def advise making sure you don't paint yourself into a corner here, ya know?
Feb 28 2020 3:58PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
Ryan5_MNYou said you did "a little" research but doesn't hurt to double check any contingencies that might hurt the value of the piano. I buy/sell stuff all the time on craigslist and it's easy to see a good deal and get tunnel vision and end up missing something. I know nothing about pianos, but just saying to check the buying side too. Since you're essentially getting it for free it's not risky but would suck to expect getting maybe $8k and then finding out some part got replaced and now you can only get $2k for it. Best of luck though


She said it was completely restored and tuned last September which is a good sign and the pics of the exterior look like it was really well taken care of. Def good advice though that would suck if something was terribly wrong with it

This is the same model/year

https://faustharrisonpianos.com/product/steinway-piano-model-45-1990/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAkePyBRCEARIsAMy5Scux-IEarIBeFKH_eY1A-TqkMLlLxJleeOG_joo4TvN9kJrYaSRyytcaAjTcEALw_wcB
Feb 28 2020 4:33PM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12535 - Karma: 116,727
Post this on https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/ and lets see if you get completely different response
Feb 28 2020 4:33PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51946 - Karma: 165,999
Idk. Thats like flipping shit in bst on here. You can do it, but its kinda a dick move. I wouldn't even take it if I wasn't gonna play it. Nothing really against it I guess but I wouldn't.
Feb 28 2020 4:51PM
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ColoradoDogfart
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 29,555
EDIT- OP almost got scammed

**This post was edited on Mar 3rd 2020 at 12:55:20pm
Feb 28 2020 5:25PM
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,976
Idk there's alot of piano's in this world that cost more to move than they're worth so would suck to be stuck with some big heavy piano sitting around but whatever.
Feb 28 2020 5:56PM
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Biffbarf
Posts: 6799 - Karma: 72,749
Yeah man morals aside, there's a chance you're gonna spend this time acquiring a piano you can't really get rid of... the people who buy 10k pianos buy new 10k pianos.
Feb 28 2020 6:01PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
There’s a local piano dealer that buys pianos for cash, likely for way less than I would get from a private party but the most guaranteed. It really comes down to my own feelings of guilt about it because the lady is never going to find out
Feb 28 2020 7:05PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13993 - Karma: 49,693
DayManThere’s a local piano dealer that buys pianos for cash, likely for way less than I would get from a private party but the most guaranteed. It really comes down to my own feelings of guilt about it because the lady is never going to find out


Listen, this lady doesn't want it. She is going to leave it to movers to find a place to take it which will likely be the dump. Let her think it's going to someone who will use it. She will never know and she will be relieved that it is taken care of. GO FOR IT.
Feb 28 2020 8:24PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4865 - Karma: -821
Just be nice to her so she feels good about it.


My mom regrets giving her piano away to a pushy craiglister and not waiting for someone nicer to come and pick it up.
Feb 28 2020 8:46PM
1 0
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P-wurps
Posts: 215 - Karma: 1,207
Another option - just tell her how much it's actually worth and make sure she realizes what she's giving away, maybe she knows and just wants to do someone else a favor and will be fine with you selling it off to get yourself out of debt
Feb 28 2020 9:46PM
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oldmanski
Posts: 3376 - Karma: 24,598
Would you feel the same if it was a car?
Feb 29 2020 1:27AM
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p3cific
Posts: 576 - Karma: 1,756
dude now you have gone too far. stop being a bitch and take that shit
Feb 29 2020 2:53PM
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HypeBeast
Posts: 9818 - Karma: 72,907
Apparently I'm a sociopath because I think op should have no reservations and go for it. What if this is a gift from God? Her way of paying it forward even though she knows ur gonna sell it. The ignorance of her not knowing is what will keep her going. She likely knows it's expensive and the karma high she's gonna get is gonna be unreal. Quit listening to people on here and make up your own mind.

Clearly tho ur conscience is conflicted. I say take the piano, sell it, get your life in order, and pay it forward if you feel the need to. I would definitely pay off your card with it and also use the money to move and get set up. Once you're stable, anything leftover can be given away if you feel the need.

And to anyone who hates my comment fuck off. Think of how many people are willed items from their dead parents/grand parents and sell them for money. In the end, emotional attachment to objects has much less weight than the recipient being happy in life. Just sayin. Op was given a gift by a complete stranger and should do it it as he pleases.
Feb 29 2020 3:09PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
To all the h8ers


https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/787057/Wu-Tang-Clan---C-R-E-A-M-
easy to be on a moral high horse when you aren't in my same situation

I appreciate all the reasonable comments though
Mar 1 2020 6:47PM
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T.L.
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 3,008
Don't post again until the piano is in your possession.
Mar 1 2020 9:01PM
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Jems
Posts: 7554 - Karma: 97,990
selling pianos is a massive pain in the ass, good luck with it
Mar 1 2020 9:16PM
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Bushdid9_11
Posts: 535 - Karma: 2,209
Let us know how many years that piano sits in your garage before someone buys it
Mar 1 2020 10:06PM
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CabbyArrant
Posts: 780 - Karma: 4,128
I suck at piano, but if I came across a free steinway theres no way I would ever sell that.
Mar 1 2020 10:21PM
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GreezyBastard
Posts: 492 - Karma: 1,967
If she doesn’t want to look at the piano, maybe she’d prefer looking at 10 grand? Possibly sell it for her and keep a little for yourself.


bring on downvotes
Mar 1 2020 10:33PM
2 1
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DayMan
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 8,748
In an interesting turning of the tables, I am no longer the shitty person in this situation!

Piano turned out to be an elaborate scam. How fucked is that? Pretending to be an old lady with a recently dead husband giving away a piano, just to get people to send the "movers" money to deliver the piano to you, but then it never shows up and you're out a few hundred dollars. Seemed like a lot of effort on their end for low reward. I'm just happy I caught on at the end.

Pretty disappointing tbh, now I'm gonna have to go back to selling smelly shoes. At work rn but I'm gonna post screenshots of all my communications with her because I want to know if you guys think it was obvious from the beginning and I'm just retarded

**This post was edited on Mar 3rd 2020 at 8:31:18am
Mar 3 2020 8:30AM
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J_Christoph
Posts: 2519 - Karma: 8,755
The second you see the word “movers” in a message on KSL or another site it’s going to be a scam
DayManPiano turned out to be an elaborate scam. How fucked is that? Pretending to be an old lady with a recently dead husband giving away a piano, just to get people to send the "movers" money to deliver the piano to you, but then it never shows up and you're out a few hundred dollars. Seemed like a lot of effort on their end for low reward. I'm just happy I caught on at the end
Mar 3 2020 9:04AM
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SofaKingSick
Posts: 9389 - Karma: 61,874
DayManscam


Damn that’s a good twist to the story!


yeah, post the comms if you think of it, it’s good to be able to identify scams. I just stopped a coworker last week from falling for one regarding apartment renting on Craigslist
Mar 3 2020 12:45PM
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Obama_care
Posts: 581 - Karma: 2,759
ThunderChickenPiano's probably still going to a good home after you sell it, so if you think about it someone gets a good piano at retail price and you get your debt paid off so do what you gotta do my guy


So right If i met you wouldnt think you're an asshole don't stress it.
Mar 3 2020 12:58PM
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