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Biffbarf
February, 2025

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My friend shit all over my apartment

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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
Here is my story... About a year ago my roommate had some buddies come in to town for the weekend and one of them was fiending to trip LSD for the first time. I was determined to make this happen so I found 3 tabs from a reliable source. I thought he was gonna save some for a later date and I told him to just take one tab now and see how it goes since he was a first timer. To my amazement he fucking sends all three of em and I wished him luck. Along throughout he seemed okay and at like 4 am I hear him walking around outside of my room and my friend saying “dude there is shit everywhere” I couldn’t believe what I was actually hearing so I go out there to see my friend naked in the middle of the living room with human shit covered all over him. As he was standing there big eyed and confused I ask my other friend what the fuck was going on and he said he woke up to him bent down in the corner like some type of animal taking a shit right on the floor. I then proceeded to get my roommate to figure out what the fuck to do and he is just as fucking shocked as I am. We make a game plan and to start the process we got mr shitty to get into the shower. We walked him to the bathroom and closed the door and waited. 10 minutes went by and we heard no water running or anything so we go to check on him and he’s just standing there still naked. We told him to go shower again and he signs and says “where is the shower” when he was standing right next to it. We point I think out to him and he hobbled in there and showers comes back out and we start the clean up process. Needless to say gallons of bleach and cleaning supplies were used to clean this shit filled room, but we got it done about 4 hours later and got some McDonald’s got drunk and went on with our lives. This moment will always have a special place in my heart and I hope whoever is reading this gets a kick outta it.

**This thread was edited on Dec 13th 2019 at 5:33:44pm
5 years ago
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Idahoe
Posts: 1027 - Karma: 7,538
this is beautiful
5 years ago
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oldmanski
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 25,234
Ahahaha! That is a shitty situation for sure!
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
oldmanskiAhahaha! That is a shitty situation for sure!


Ha perfectly execution of the pun 10/10
5 years ago
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,980
Tldr
5 years ago
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,178
That’s groce
5 years ago
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,183
Bahaha that's actually hilarious
5 years ago
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theabortionator
Posts: 52268 - Karma: 170,008
Chances of this actually having happened?
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss
theabortionatorChances of this actually having happened?
5 years ago
26 0
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,183
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss


Now I'm horrified
5 years ago
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theabortionator
Posts: 52268 - Karma: 170,008
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss

You friend my just be a pretty fucked up person. Maybe the same way people get drunk and start pissing inside, maybe he just likes to shit freely.

If partying with I'd say a diaper duct taped closed should be mandatory.

That's nasty
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
theabortionatorYou friend my just be a pretty fucked up person. Maybe the same way people get drunk and start pissing inside, maybe he just likes to shit freely.

If partying with I'd say a diaper duct taped closed should be mandatory.

That's nasty


Yeah I love the guy but we haven’t had him back at the crib for a minute. Do the crime, do the time
5 years ago
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Biffbarf
Posts: 7126 - Karma: 75,196
I wish I was chill enough to just 'ayyy lmao' another dude's literal shit in the floor. Jesus fucking christ.

This thread needs to be brought up every time some suburban white kid complains that they can't find someone that'll let them and their 20 y/o homies rent/airbnb a place
5 years ago
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,178
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss

How the fuck do people do this shit when they are tripping???? Like I’ve heard stories of people just stripping naked and running through the streets.




I can take ridiculous doses and still be able to function completely normally (after the come up)
5 years ago
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theabortionator
Posts: 52268 - Karma: 170,008
zoinkedYeah I love the guy but we haven’t had him back at the crib for a minute. Do the crime, do the time

I'm sure even he admits that's pretty fair. Honestly he's lucky you guys didn't murder him and cleaned it up.

I know the saying "Don't shit where you eat", but maybe it should read more like "Don't shit in peoples houses, in the middle of the street, just don't shit a lot of places and try to find a fucking toilet you friggin degenerates" but I'm not sure that has quite the same ring to it.

Decent one up worthy poop story to pull out in the future.
5 years ago
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Mingg
Posts: 14014 - Karma: 50,128
I work in a nursing home... and honestly... I’ve never seen THAT much shit on the floor.
5 years ago
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_IRRELEVANT_
Posts: 944 - Karma: 4,427
MinggI work in a nursing home... and honestly... I’ve never seen THAT much shit on the floor.

That’s a good point there was a ton of shit for one person
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
HYP3R_REAL1TYHow the fuck do people do this shit when they are tripping???? Like I’ve heard stories of people just stripping naked and running through the streets.




I can take ridiculous doses and still be able to function completely normally (after the come up)


I guess some people can’t handle it. If I take a crazy dose I might get a little wonky and weird but would never shit on the floor.
5 years ago
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AbiH
Posts: 2041 - Karma: 10,358
HYP3R_REAL1TYThat’s groce


*gross
5 years ago
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,178
AbiH*gross





https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=groce&amp=true
5 years ago
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ChadThundercock
Posts: 3071 - Karma: 831
HYP3R_REAL1TYhttps://www.google.com/amp/s/www.urbandictionary.com/define.php%3fterm=groce&amp=true


Pwned that bitch
5 years ago
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CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6368 - Karma: 64,941
Thought this was going to be copypasta but after seeing the video I’m slightly horrified.
5 years ago
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HypeBeast
Posts: 9915 - Karma: 74,390
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss

No one can ever say "pics or it didn't happen" to op ever again. Holy shit!
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
BST_PoliceNo one can ever say "pics or it didn't happen" to op ever again. Holy shit!


I had to have a video of it because people don’t believe it since it’s so fucking ridiculous
5 years ago
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tsingtaofanatic
Posts: 3344 - Karma: 4,583
OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHHA

this made my night to say the least. especially the video
5 years ago
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iced
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 17,983
dude the fact that it was carpet changes everything
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
iceddude the fact that it was carpet changes everything


Yeah it made the call to the carpet cleaners very uncomfortable
5 years ago
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LilBenjiWop
Posts: 56 - Karma: 177
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss


I can smell that video, feel sorry for you dude. At least you got a legendary story with proof out of it
5 years ago
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BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9496 - Karma: 70,109



zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss
5 years ago
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,980
I'd be dry heaving so bad, a good painter's mask is a must to have around for stinky situations.
5 years ago
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Biffbarf
Posts: 7126 - Karma: 75,196
ChadThundercockPwned that bitch


Pwned? The fuck year is this
5 years ago
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Hangry
Posts: 156 - Karma: 713
Absolute beauty of a story. Reminds me of when my friend and I were two bottles deep of Kraken and blacked out throwing up everywhere. I wake up in my dorm the next day with puke all over the wall and bed, go to the bathroom and just find a pile of shit on top of the toilet seat. I still don't remember who's it was or how it ended up there, but needless to say it was real awkward carrying a pile of shit and puke down the hall and past the RC who thank god was busy.
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
HangryAbsolute beauty of a story. Reminds me of when my friend and I were two bottles deep of Kraken and blacked out throwing up everywhere. I wake up in my dorm the next day with puke all over the wall and bed, go to the bathroom and just find a pile of shit on top of the toilet seat. I still don't remember who's it was or how it ended up there, but needless to say it was real awkward carrying a pile of shit and puke down the hall and past the RC who thank god was busy.


Ah someone took an upper decker my guy but that sucks lucky y’all didn’t die
5 years ago
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ScootSkiLyfe
Posts: 1056 - Karma: 5,694
What in the fuck
5 years ago
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little1337
Posts: 8322 - Karma: 49,564
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss


Wow, what a delivery
5 years ago
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thizzizwhatitiz
Posts: 344 - Karma: 462
Bro cmon, not on the carpet :(
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
thizzizwhatitizBro cmon, not on the carpet :(


That was the worst part of all of it. He tracked it fucking everywhere and got most of it in the carpet
5 years ago
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loadedburrito
Posts: 92 - Karma: 183
zoinkedhttps://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/948176/43361D7C-FECF-40C7-8E02-CB5151DC5D0F-MOV

Here ya go boss

thats an impressive amount of shit
5 years ago
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theabortionator
Posts: 52268 - Karma: 170,008
loadedburritothats an impressive amount of shit


We were about an hour into burrito and chill when the acid began to take hold...
5 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
bump..
5 years ago
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little1337
Posts: 8322 - Karma: 49,564
Still the best delivery I've seen on this website
5 years ago
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vibecheck
Posts: 3112 - Karma: 15,192
hahaforgotaboutthis
5 years ago
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CTD
Posts: 6302 - Karma: 357
OP should be proud. This is the kind of quality content NS has been missing
5 years ago
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dolanslebensraum
Posts: 5959 - Karma: -13,094
One of my friends in college told me a story about how his hs gf started shitting herself at a party, so they threw her in a bathtub and everybody left except for him, and he wrapped her in a blanket and carried her on his back like 4 miles to the hospital. When he got their and handed her over to the hospital staff she was still passed out and he was exhausted so he bounced and went home. He gets a call the next morning from her in the hospital and she is furious, saying “how dare you leave me in the hospital you asshole blah blah blah” and he was like “you know what? I just carried your shit covered ass 4 miles through the snow to the hospital last night, we arent going out anymore.” She tried to act like she was above the rumors and didnt care that my friend broke up with her but her self esteem slowly dissociated as eventually everybody she knew started calling her “the party pooper” till they graduated.

Girls shitting their pants when they pass out drunk at parties seems to actually be a thing bc fairly often a new picture shows up on 4skin.

Pretty fucking degenerate
5 years ago
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vibecheck
Posts: 3112 - Karma: 15,192
DolanReloadedOne of my friends in college told me a story about how his hs gf started shitting herself at a party, so they threw her in a bathtub and everybody left except for him, and he wrapped her in a blanket and carried her on his back like 4 miles to the hospital. When he got their and handed her over to the hospital staff she was still passed out and he was exhausted so he bounced and went home. He gets a call the next morning from her in the hospital and she is furious, saying “how dare you leave me in the hospital you asshole blah blah blah” and he was like “you know what? I just carried your shit covered ass 4 miles through the snow to the hospital last night, we arent going out anymore.” She tried to act like she was above the rumors and didnt care that my friend broke up with her but her self esteem slowly dissociated as eventually everybody she knew started calling her “the party pooper” till they graduated.

Girls shitting their pants when they pass out drunk at parties seems to actually be a thing bc fairly often a new picture shows up on 4skin.

Pretty fucking degenerate


Bot @eheath ban it
5 years ago
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Mingg
Posts: 14014 - Karma: 50,128
Late to the bump party but I definitely think about this thread from time to time lol. It has made a permanent impression on me. And for that, I am grateful, OP.
4 years ago
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dolanslebensraum
Posts: 5959 - Karma: -13,094
vibecheckBot @eheath ban it



4 years ago
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Spunion
Posts: 240 - Karma: 1,358
MinggLate to the bump party but I definitely think about this thread from time to time lol. It has made a permanent impression on me. And for that, I am grateful, OP.

My pleasure
4 years ago
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