Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

I need a wife

profile picture
Sharpy
Posts: 7596 - Karma: 19
Right now. I have like 4 loads of laundry to do. I have a kitchen to clean and dishes to do. I need the sheets on my bed put on. I need my bathroom cleaned. I need some dinner. I also need some sex. I also need the garbage taken out (but I'm willing to do that).

Like a virgin on prom night

You can go on the bottom bunk and finish it yourself

When you guys are on those rails, it's like muah

You A-hole
Feb 23 2005 5:14PM
0 0
profile picture
JFerg
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 62
im suprised no feminists have jumped on this guy yet, well, give it time.

_________________________

just ski.
Feb 23 2005 5:18PM
0 0
profile picture
SchweitzerSki
Posts: 4479 - Karma: 11
meh. they're usually joking
**************************************
triple it triple it trip-le-it 1! brrrrrrr cha cha cha cha cha cha cha


ba-dum-ching!
Feb 23 2005 5:35PM
0 0
profile picture
Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
im pretty much married. except my bitch dont do anything of those things



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17





My time is winding down.............just wait for it
Feb 23 2005 6:03PM
0 0
profile picture
icecreamsandwich
Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25
you sure do need a wife. or of course, and i know this might sound crazy...you could do all of that stuff YOURSELF.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up
So now I have to chop you up, chop you up
And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Icecreamsandwich officially = the coolest girl ever. Thank you. - Stryken

Feb 23 2005 6:07PM
0 0
profile picture
KingShit
Posts: 4483 - Karma: 7
Maybe cause I never do any of that stuff, either my mom or my girlfriend does, it doesnt sound too bad of activities to occupy myself with.


-People say marijuana ruins your life, I just say I take the scenic route-
Feb 23 2005 6:10PM
0 0
profile picture
Sharpy
Posts: 7596 - Karma: 19
well then what the fucks the point of getting married if you have to do all those things yourself still?

Like a virgin on prom night

You can go on the bottom bunk and finish it yourself

When you guys are on those rails, it's like muah

You A-hole
Feb 23 2005 6:10PM
0 0
profile picture
nsnski240
Posts: 1623 - Karma: 15
^exactly

That would just mean no parties, less skiing, less newschoolers, and you can only fuck one girl... not good
------------>
''Main Line is Open!'
Sick!
D BREES 101 Cult
Land Shark eeee eee eee
'I had a talk with mother nature, i'm not kidding. She came into my room, we discussed it over hot chocolate' - *B$hip*
Feb 23 2005 6:16PM
0 0
profile picture
EastcoastAR5
Posts: 2721 - Karma: 15
????
word


HAHAHA YOU BITCHES MY DADS LAWYER, MICHAEL J KAUFMANN IS ALREDY INVESTIGATING LATS POSTS ON NS AND WILL TAKE LEGAL ACTION

APPARENTLY I CAN ALSO SUE NS for condoning harrassment AND SHUT THIS FUCKIN SITE DOWN! -ATLANTASKI
Feb 23 2005 6:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Lauren9
Posts: 354 - Karma: 49
umm a slave and wife are 2 differet things?


.lauren.
Feb 23 2005 6:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
ahhahaha yes justin. ill get you one of those spiked brooms as a wedding present ahahahaha
Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
----------->Capital.City.Rider.
--->Phunkin.Phatt.Phreerider.

'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
Feb 23 2005 7:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Ghost
Posts: 7116 - Karma: 339
lauren9 - but are they really? There's a very thin line that divides wife and slave.

Hah. joke.
Feb 23 2005 7:22PM
0 0
profile picture
freerider_klo
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 14
i need a wife too, i have so much laundry to do.


-Chloe
Feb 23 2005 7:40PM
0 0
profile picture
[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
No way man, women don't need sex, they can just have sex with the doorknob every now and then...but it might be a little hard getting the lips to stretch around it though.







=======================================
Kitting is so progressional.
Feb 23 2005 8:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Bhayter10
Posts: 942 - Karma: 8
^ Huh????


'The true measure of a man is how he treats another who can do absolutely nothing for him.'
-Samuel Johnson
Feb 23 2005 9:14PM
0 0
profile picture
KingShit
Posts: 4483 - Karma: 7
Tanaka shut the fuck up you little kid, you dont even know what real pussy looks like outside of the internet.


-People say marijuana ruins your life, I just say I take the scenic route-
Feb 23 2005 9:17PM
0 0
profile picture
skiicanda1
Posts: 225 - Karma: 10
^oh snap!
Feb 23 2005 9:22PM
0 0
profile picture
samck89
Posts: 3054 - Karma: 24
shit thatys the first post ive ever had deleted
Feb 23 2005 9:23PM
0 0
profile picture
samck89
Posts: 3054 - Karma: 24
i doint thin it deserved it ive seen much worse posts last forever
Feb 23 2005 9:23PM
0 0
profile picture
samck89
Posts: 3054 - Karma: 24
never mind that i was looking in the wrong thread
Feb 23 2005 9:33PM
0 0
profile picture
rebel
Posts: 5198 - Karma: 22
For $100 / week I'll do all that for you. 'cept the sex, that'll cost you another $10.

- - - - -
'It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.' - Anne Frank
Feb 23 2005 9:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Sashac
Posts: 3197 - Karma: 88
Wow, when I'm married I aint gonna do shit for my husband. He's going to be washing my dishes and doing my laundry.

- Sasha



Did you like it? Did it sound kind of hot?
Feb 23 2005 9:38PM
0 0
profile picture
tricksterboardin
Posts: 662 - Karma: 10
hahha rebel^^
///////////////////////////////////////
i am Sum Ting Wong praise me- Sum Ting Wong july 5th 2004
CANADA KICKS ASSS
Feb 23 2005 9:42PM
0 0
profile picture
LittleDevil720
Posts: 3719 - Karma: 8
hire a little girl, shell be pleased witha few bucks after to buy some ice cream




'Ever been hit in the head with a golf ball?'
-JF Cusson, making the argument that golf is an extreme sport

Feb 23 2005 9:50PM
0 0
profile picture
Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
theres no difference between a wife and a slave. theyre both fucken bitches either way



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17





My time is winding down.............just wait for it
Feb 23 2005 11:23PM
0 0
profile picture
[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
you guys is hating and bein bunkadizzlegodoublejizzle...cept' Lateralis, he's cool.







=======================================
Kitting is so progressional.
Feb 23 2005 11:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Sharpy
Posts: 7596 - Karma: 19
110 bucks a week for a wife, not too shabby

Like a virgin on prom night

You can go on the bottom bunk and finish it yourself

When you guys are on those rails, it's like muah

You A-hole
Feb 23 2005 11:44PM
0 0
profile picture
PowderCanuck
Posts: 2626 - Karma: 10
I've solved your problem! Get your own mail order bride!!
______________________

NoPoles: 'Firefox is the big up and comming browser. It's better than IE in just about every way.'
You heard it straight from the man kids, get Firefox.

Screw this I'm going skiing
Feb 24 2005 12:33AM
0 0
profile picture
PowderCanuck
Posts: 2626 - Karma: 10
Shiiiiit... Mail order this lady.


______________________

NoPoles: 'Firefox is the big up and comming browser. It's better than IE in just about every way.'
You heard it straight from the man kids, get Firefox.

Screw this I'm going skiing
Feb 24 2005 12:36AM
0 0
profile picture
Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
holly shit!! you can actually do that?!! is that legal?!
Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
----------->Capital.City.Rider.
--->Phunkin.Phatt.Phreerider.

'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
Feb 24 2005 12:50AM
0 0
profile picture
TheStamos
Posts: 9311 - Karma: 910
I need a wife that ski's and wants to buy a badass van and just travel around all winter, No kid's, EVER and must be a ripper. And be insanely hot but trustworthy.
Just dip your dong in paint and smack your helmet with it.
Feb 24 2005 12:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
^aahahhaa too bad thats hard to find..
member 9020

newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!

'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7

'maybe i shold turn lesbien and get the girls'-misty7 'i can have sex with the snow'-misty7 on how winter will end his lonelyness

LOGIC HEADWEAR
Feb 24 2005 2:21PM
0 0
profile picture
PowderCanuck
Posts: 2626 - Karma: 10
^^^ yea it's legal. In fact I met a guy who's happy married to his mail order bride. It's actualy kinda different than you think. You don't just look at pictures and pick a wife, but yea you can do it.
______________________

NoPoles: 'Firefox is the big up and comming browser. It's better than IE in just about every way.'
You heard it straight from the man kids, get Firefox.

Screw this I'm going skiing
Feb 24 2005 9:02PM
0 0
profile picture
Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
thats sooo weird... i wouldnt think stuff like that would happen. I guess im green.
Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
----------->Capital.City.Rider.
--->Phunkin.Phatt.Phreerider.

'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
Feb 24 2005 9:29PM
0 0
profile picture
davidh
Posts: 4219 - Karma: 8
Did anybody see Birthday Girl? It was this movie about this guy who orders a russian bride. She shows up and doesnt speak any english and all that shit but she's mad hot and fucks him every single night. so anyway one day she says it's her birthday and she has some friends from russia over. Anyway the friends stay at the dudes house for a few days and then he tells them to leave and then they tweak and have him rob the bank that he works at. It was all a scam. Pretty good movie I thought.
=========================================


'I've been so unlucky today. Honestly, if it was raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a 12 inch dick. God is angry with me.'
-Anathema

=======

'girls are cruel and unusual, like pouring acid into a cat's ear'
-NoTeefa
Feb 25 2005 1:27AM
0 0
profile picture
luckydevil
Posts: 1130 - Karma: 12
take it from someone married for over 10 years. . . get a maid. When she done cleaning she leaves. If shes not doing a good job you can get rid of her without having to give half of everyting and you can still fuck whoever you want.
***********
'Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.'-Dave
Barry***********'Skiing is the only sport where you spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg.'-Author Unknown



Feb 25 2005 3:55PM
0 0
profile picture
highfive
Posts: 3087 - Karma: 11
you need to get bitch at too.


Matching Special Blend Jacket and Foursquare Snowpants for Sale
^^^^It's BRAND NEW. NEVER BEEN WORN!
Feb 25 2005 4:31PM
0 0
profile picture
thewavebb
Posts: 1082 - Karma: 20
i am probably one of the rare few that are actually married on this site. Being married is sweet. I like to cook so I take care 80% of all meals. As for the rest, we take turns and it works well. The shittiest stuff is the stupid little stuff fighting that goes on from time to time.
Feb 25 2005 10:42PM
0 0
profile picture
t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
Getting married for sex is like buying a Boing 747 to get peanuts
Feb 25 2005 10:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128
once you get married your sexlife goes to hell, but its not liek you got any in the first place... haha
_______________________________________
-Last Element Freeskiing

-Live Fast And Ski Hard

-'Belong, Thats a Very Sexist Way To Talk About these Bitches'- Ali G

-Get On Your Knees And Smile Like A Doughnut

- the saying around here is: Go Big Or Go Home
Feb 25 2005 10:57PM
0 0
profile picture
Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
^AHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAHA oh my god. best comparison ever. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH i just called a radom person and left that word of wisdom on their answering machine. AHAHAHAHAHHAAH
Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
----------->Capital.City.Rider.
--->Phunkin.Phatt.Phreerider.

'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
Feb 25 2005 10:59PM
0 0
profile picture
BLKOUT
Posts: 1287 - Karma: 20
fuck it, U don't need a chick. all U need is a good hand, some good porn, lots a alchohol n drugs and U'll B fine.

'fuck it, what u don't understand is I make love to my hand, so I don't need U honey, I beat my dick like it owes me money, fuk it!' - from Chapelle's Show
boost! boom-bap.
Feb 25 2005 11:00PM
0 0
profile picture
nsnski240
Posts: 1623 - Karma: 15
get a dirty littl mexican and pay them way below minimum wage... they'll still be very happy
------------>
Sick!
D BREES 101 Cult
Land Shark eeee eee eee
'I had a talk with mother nature, i'm not kidding. She came into my room, we discussed it over hot chocolate' - *B$hip*

'Getting married for sex is like buying a Boing 747 to get peanuts'
Feb 26 2005 1:12AM
0 0
profile picture
Sharpy
Posts: 7596 - Karma: 19
I hate changing the sheets on my bed

Like a virgin on prom night

You can go on the bottom bunk and finish it yourself

When you guys are on those rails, it's like muah

You A-hole
Feb 26 2005 1:18AM
0 0
profile picture
freerider_klo
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 14
^ahhh hahhahahahha


-Chloe
Feb 26 2005 1:51AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)