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Heartcarve?

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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,962
I got drunk and watched Hot Dog the other day and then I had a dream that I was in a chinese downhill. Rudy was about to clobber me but then out of nowhere heartcarve came through and tackled him and bashed him over the head with those stupid fucking skis that I am still not sure if he was trolling or actually trying to start a new wave of skiing. Then at the bottom when I won the race heartcarve came through and tried to convince me that I would have been even faster if I would have been heartcarving. So I punched that goofball in the fucking face.
It was such a fucking strange dream and honestly pretty intense, because I'm not a violent person at all and whenever I have a dream where I punch someone I usually wake up in a panic.
So now I'm wondering what was the end of HeartCarve?

Someone has to know what I'm talking about. I did some quick internet research to see if I could find some more info but couldn't find much. And the NS search function is fucking useless so I can't find the original heartcarve threads.

Please someone, mods, admins, and other members who were especially active in Gear Talk I think like 4-6 years ago please help me. I really want to reminisce in how absolutely absurd that was. I found an old TGR thread that has some of his posts but it doesn't hold the same nostalgia as the threads on here
Nov 22 2019 1:14AM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,962
I found these, but I want to find the origin of heatcarve on NS

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/800456/Heartcarve-Meathammer-2015-thread-?page=1

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/813037/Heartcarve-Custom-Piste-2016
Nov 22 2019 1:15AM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,962
I'm actually a pretty good internet detective it turns out and this might be the first thread he made

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/thread/786042/2015-2016-Gear-Rumors?page=3

but I also seem to remember that everyone was already pretty sick of his shit at this point. Was there a previous thread that got deleted maybe, I think this is where my internet detective skills end.
Nov 22 2019 1:19AM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12503 - Karma: 116,105
12 Year old here, who?
Nov 22 2019 11:30AM
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GrandThings
Posts: 3125 - Karma: 31,539
Hahahah I totally forgot about this. I still cant figure out if the dude was crazy or a troll.

The "Buy Fulltilts" meme was pretty solely replaced with "Buy Heartcarves" for like a good year

Wonder what he's up to nowadays....
Nov 22 2019 11:43AM
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270on420out
Posts: 7508 - Karma: 51,054
TRVP_ANGEL12 Year old here, who?


Quite possibly the best troll to ever grace NS.
Nov 22 2019 12:08PM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12503 - Karma: 116,105
DIRTYBUBBLEQuite possibly the best troll to ever grace NS.


Someone needs to make a youtube channel dedicated to NS forum lores
Nov 22 2019 1:17PM
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crazeethugnutz
Posts: 5 - Karma: 0
DIRTYBUBBLEQuite possibly the best troll to ever grace NS.


trolling is an art.
Nov 22 2019 1:18PM
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Youngm_IPCME
Posts: 1082 - Karma: 2,851
Yeah, I went through his threads as well. I wondered what he commented to have everyone saying, “it’s this guy again” on his first thread.
Nov 22 2019 2:46PM
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OregonDead
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 24,538
There is/was a heartcarve cult. Not quite sure how to access it at this point but yeah it was pretty much more of the dudes same random photoshops
I really would have clicked in tried out the HCs if he ever brought them out to Mt. Hood but I kinda think all the prototypes broke IDK
Nov 22 2019 5:42PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13975 - Karma: 49,270
Oh my god, heartcarve.


He used to make me cry lmfao.
Nov 23 2019 9:50PM
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Casey
Posts: 7846 - Karma: 24,308
I could never decide if that dude was trolling everyone or just wacked
out of his gore on LSD. Still 50/50
Nov 23 2019 10:54PM
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Sharko
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 4,101
Yeah, he was a true enigma. I’m not sure if he was delusional or some kind of hyper-troll from the future, but I was never bored by that guy.
Nov 25 2019 8:16PM
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Sharko
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 4,101
The referenced post has been removed.


I’m looking into a mirror:
heartcarve...
heartcarve...
heartcarve...
Nov 25 2019 11:42PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10815 - Karma: 57,158
The referenced post has been removed.

Hold me, I’m so afraid.
Nov 25 2019 11:55PM
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GrandThings
Posts: 3125 - Karma: 31,539
Did anybody ever figure out how to initiate the "slarv" turn? Maybe that should be my goal for this season...
Nov 26 2019 9:06AM
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DrZoidberg
Posts: 5675 - Karma: 4,268
Wow that was in 2015...

Also isn't that just a more extreme version of the Salomon BBR or whatever it was called, and now we have a lot of carver skis with pretty fat tips and otherwise somewhat normal shapes. Heartcarves were like real short though?
Nov 26 2019 6:03PM
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OregonDead
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 24,538
DrZoidbergWow that was in 2015...

Also isn't that just a more extreme version of the Salomon BBR or whatever it was called, and now we have a lot of carver skis with pretty fat tips and otherwise somewhat normal shapes. Heartcarves were like real short though?


Not gonna waste time looking for the pair that he tried to make but this concept was actually a pretty f'ing big ski. 185cm length and 170mm tip. Also BBR is kinda a pin tail but this guy wanted to have tails that were actually fatter than the tips.


Nov 26 2019 6:23PM
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RousedWits
Posts: 387 - Karma: 894
https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/946040/Diddy-ft--Pharrell---D-I-D-D-Y---50-cent---MJ---112---Mase--Heartcarve-mix-
Nov 26 2019 10:25PM
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Sharko
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 4,101
OregonDeadNot gonna waste time looking for the pair that he tried to make but this concept was actually a pretty f'ing big ski. 185cm length and 170mm tip. Also BBR is kinda a pin tail but this guy wanted to have tails that were actually fatter than the tips.




Also note that the waist is PLUS 7cm, its in front of center so the tail is longer than the tip.
Nov 26 2019 11:15PM
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OregonDead
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 24,538
SharkoAlso note that the waist is PLUS 7cm, its in front of center so the tail is longer than the tip.


Yes. Probably great for mobbing switch unless it is too squirrely with all that side cut. Huge 177mm tails could potentially plow over everything
Nov 26 2019 11:32PM
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Zimmy
Posts: 1258 - Karma: -1,327
..

**This post was edited on Dec 28th 2019 at 7:25:44am
Nov 28 2019 8:26PM
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Sharko
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 4,101
Paddle_CarveA lot of truth here!

I'm still here. I should've used the cults feature more back then, that's my only regret.
I ended up using one in 2016:

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/6594/Heartcarve


My goal right now is to get the MeatHammer skis made and then *IF* they are good, and I don't doubt they will be amazing, eventually turn the whole thing into a real movie. That's it.

I will watch the shit out of this movie
Nov 28 2019 8:57PM
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Youngm_IPCME
Posts: 1082 - Karma: 2,851
Paddle_CarveA lot of truth here!

I'm still here. I should've used the cults feature more back then, that's my only regret.
I ended up using one in 2016:

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/6594/Heartcarve


My goal right now is to get the MeatHammer skis made and then *IF* they are good, and I don't doubt they will be amazing, eventually turn the whole thing into a real movie. That's it.


Have you been prowling the forums waiting for someone to bring this up for the last three years?
Nov 28 2019 11:59PM
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Zimmy
Posts: 1258 - Karma: -1,327
..

**This post was edited on Dec 28th 2019 at 7:24:54am
Nov 30 2019 9:46PM
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Youngm_IPCME
Posts: 1082 - Karma: 2,851
Paddle_CarveI did search on Google for heartcarve because I've been thinking about stories and saw the word Carver on a local street sign (a direct link from google came straight into this post.) Haven't thought about NS for years.

Well I look forward to the movie
Dec 1 2019 12:06AM
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No.Quarter
Posts: 5257 - Karma: 16,962
Paddle_CarveA lot of truth here!

I'm still here. I should've used the cults feature more back then, that's my only regret.
I ended up using one in 2016:

https://www.newschoolers.com/forum/6594/Heartcarve


My goal right now is to get the MeatHammer skis made and then *IF* they are good, and I don't doubt they will be amazing, eventually turn the whole thing into a real movie. That's it.


Ah fuck, I'm sorry guys, I didn't think this would actually summon this dingus.

JK if the enigmatic heartboy ever showed up at Bridger Bowl with the Meathammers I'd clip in in a fuckin heartbeat.

Also, what are your thoughts on the telemark lurk pole? This seems like a very effective way to connect heart and snow. Could it be adapted to Meathammer use? I also think it would really round out my ensemble to capture the attention and admiration of some Sexy Snow Sallys
Dec 3 2019 12:11AM
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12503 - Karma: 116,105
Paddle_CarveI did search on Google for heartcarve because I've been thinking about stories and saw the word Carver on a local street sign (a direct link from google came straight into this post.) Haven't thought about NS for years.


Ok this is epic
Dec 3 2019 1:31AM
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