An Honest Review of allbirds, the world's most comfortable shoes

Let's start at the beginning, a preorder by an ex-girlfriend. They are sick. She's got these fresh merino wool kicks, dark blue. I see they don't have many colorways online and most are sold out, one style. I cop the sky blue, no big deal, I've got flair. They come with alternate laces. The laces are thicc, noticeably so for the size, shape, weight, and overall build of this sneaker (more on that later). I wear them a while and notice something. They've become roomie. I have no problem with this. They were snug at best when I first tied the knot. Like a hug from an ex-lover. They were still such an interestingly abrasive soft. As a child, wool had an itchy connotation. Then, as a teen, I found the shoe's wool material so fine and well crafted that the itchiness was a negligible variable. It's almost like the heat from a gas station lighter. However, they were not warm. They're a thin pair of shoes, hence the emphasis on the laces girth earlier. The choice in sock determines the output of the sock shoe combo in the winter. Other times don't matter. You want socks? fluffy, nike-elite, alpaca wool, cotton, fuck socks? allbirds don't give a damn, they compliment it all. Sweaty feet were not a foreign concept during the summer months in Pennsylvania. Smell was not a major issue, nothing was. duh.

The shoes are now broken. I own them, they are mine, I have claimed them by stepping all over them continuously for weeks. I am Karen, the allbirds are the handfull of meek timid managers who happen upon my path. They hold up well. I acquired a stain that was hardly visible but I do believe it was just dirt. A magic-eraser will take the soles back to very near fresh white, better than any other white shoed sole I've owned. It should be noted that the stain still lingers like my roommate's promise. To do the dishes, tomorrow. No new stains have occurred but I believe I can write that off to learning the best occasions to wear these shoes.

No snow.

I find myself at a ski competition, fun stuff. Crazy shit goes down, athlete dive bombs the few spectators. The group I was with will remain nameless but I'm posted in a hotel at a ski comp. One of if not the youngest in the room.
What do I have on you ask? My fresh new allbird runners. A gal drops a compliment when I take them off for the hot-tub. It always happens somewhere. They look fresh, like all-natural FDA certified organic fresh. Some boolin ensues. I'm 15 yards into a superpipe. There are chairs, sleds, and pizza boxes being dragged up. I'm shuffling, not cold. I'm content with the pace for one reason. Any faster and I would hit the center of the pipe for the 2nd, 3rd,..., nth time and slide to the bottom. My folding chair is in BO1 grim reaper mode. The crutch barely works. I made it to the top but it was a physically and mentally tolling experience. Solely because I was better equipped for grip on snow in my bare feet or socks. Boolin ensues. Fight or flight doesn't matter when allbirds are on between your feet and snow. You are a deer in headlights but the faster you run the brighter the lights get.

These shoes are dope, they kind of blew up and jacked up their prices but that may be okay. They have other options now so if you have a different model drop a review. As my friend Charlie likes to say, don't forget to like comment tweet sub subscribe share retweet give a thumbs up and turn that notification bell on for more snazzy content.