The New Rules

I just received a memo from the Ski Community outlining the new laws of ski videos. These rules are non-negotiable and are effective immediately.

It says that every video must now include slow motion tracking shots of people walking and/or looking at the camera. Extra points if middle fingers are involved. If you can show a slow motion close-up of a skier's face as they approach a feature, you're awesome and definitely not just copying Bill Strobeck. All title sequences must be displayed in minimalist serif fonts. The general idea is that it should look like you don't even give a shit about your own video. Although freestyle skiing has deep roots in hip hop, traditional rap songs are no longer acceptable. All songs must now include the extreme repetition of words like "aye" or "yuh," and must have little to no lyrical emphasis. It is also imperative that ALL skiers in your video now get their kits from thrift stores. Wearing actual ski pants/jackets is no longer allowed. Finally, it is recommended that you title your ski video using a name that has already been used. Recycling names has much better brand recognition, and involves much less work.

Remember, these rules were created to preserve originality. By abiding by these concise standards, you are showing that you are bold, fresh, and unique, NOT following the crowd. Any deviation from these rules will be punished by criticism and banishment.