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Build-a-gaper

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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,190
Alright NS,

Im bored here at work so I've got a thread idea.... Everyone gets to create their own Jerry.

Please include everything in their kit

Including:

-Skis
-Clothing/Outerwear Style
-Goggles
-Boots
-Gloves
-Accessories

and anything else that comes to mind.

After enough entries we will have a vote as to which Jerry is the WORST skier on the mountain.
6 years ago
18 1
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jupiterhenry
Posts: 140 - Karma: 598
Age: 45
Skis: old rossis with a snowboarding sticker or two plastered on there and peeling off
Clothing/Outerwear Style: mix of simple blue and/or red basics that he's probably had for 30 years and one or two "hip" snowboarding pieces from target
Goggles: probably neon
Boots: generic
Gloves: generic
Accessories: plastic mohawk on the helmet, weirdly confident smirk, awkward jokes about weed on the lift when his kids are in the lodge.
Ski style: legs way far apart, arms flailing about 50% of the time, borderline out of control at medium speed, stays out of the park but does weird little pops off of the tiny jumps on the sides of groomers. Surprisingly serious about the whole thing.
5 years ago
3 1
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CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6464 - Karma: 66,070
The Northern Virginia/DC Jerry (Rich ones)

Age: 40
Skis: Soul 7s or some DPS mounted with Shifts never toured with them
Clothing/Outerwear Style: arc'teryx head to toe super tech outerwear
Goggles: Oakley Flight decks
Boots: Something expensive with tech inserts
Gloves: Serius Heated gloves
Accessories: Craft beer "that his buddy made" two way radio to talk to his wife while hes out "earning his turns"
Ski style: Race style tucks pops off the occasional side hit and rolls the windows up. Tells you constantly about how awesome Breck was last week.
5 years ago
9 0
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WisconsinDogfart
Posts: 675 - Karma: 5,529
Skis: Those ugly orange rental head skis
Outfit: Jeans tucked into boots with dirty old blue or red columbia jacket
boots: rentals
Goggles: those old bolle goggles that dont fit the rental helmet
Helmet: the ugly rental helmet
Gloves: Costco special
Acsessories: NONE
5 years ago
2 0
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Yan_skiing
Posts: 86 - Karma: 368


Jerry master
5 years ago
8 0
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SavageBiff
Posts: 3483 - Karma: 14,759
person 6’1 ,
Pants-blue
jacket-spyder French burst blue orange and black
helmet-custom paint and stickers matches the jacket also it’s a dirt bike helmet With visor, orange hoody tucked under , speakers blasting 10yr OL techno
goggles-electric OTG , big gap
boots -orange
Gloves-white
12 lift tickets that span 8 years dangling from jacket
skis-160cm park ski mounted -8cm bc he skis big mountain
boots-gotta b full tilts
accessories - trail map , avy bag , 40cm ski poles
5 years ago
9 0
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b0ss
Posts: 817 - Karma: 6,332
Ruroc helmet
Facemask that doesnt fit
Black walmart snow pant sopping wet
90 flex rental boots
Rental rossi s7 too short
Knees locked on cattracks
Traverses through any amount of powder and under freeride features to create trenches. Causing anyone who know what they are doing to land in massive ruts and eat shit.
Poles: non because they broke at the mid unload zone of the chair.
Gloves: not kinco
Banter: "why would anyone ski under the chair, such arrogant showoffs"
Chairlift snack: white claw
5 years ago
5 0
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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,190
b0ssRuroc helmet
Facemask that doesnt fit
Black walmart snow pant sopping wet
90 flex rental boots
Rental rossi s7 too short
Knees locked on cattracks
Traverses through any amount of powder and under freeride features to create trenches. Causing anyone who know what they are doing to land in massive ruts and eat shit.
Poles: non because they broke at the mid unload zone of the chair.
Gloves: not kinco
Banter: "why would anyone ski under the chair, such arrogant showoffs"
Chairlift snack: white claw


Really liking the Traverse: touch
5 years ago
1 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 23,207
Helmet: Ruroc
Accessory: Backpack with Bluetooth speaker playing
Mindset: Thinking you’re sick


**This post was edited on Jan 21st 2020 at 8:45:28pm
5 years ago
11 0
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CatdickBojangles
Posts: 6464 - Karma: 66,070
STEEZUS_CHRI5THelmet: Ruroc
Accessory: Backpack with Bluetooth speaker playing
Mindset: Thinking you’re sick


**This post was edited on Jan 21st 2020 at 8:45:28pm


Gotta make it the full chrome ruroc.
5 years ago
2 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 23,207
CatdickBojanglesGotta make it the full chrome ruroc.

“I’m an amazing skier because I can do black diamonds” - Ruroc helmet
5 years ago
3 0
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Mawbin
Posts: 82 - Karma: 383
hubbardsthis is the result of rich kids who shop by price tag
seen it with my own eyes... anyone who's ever heard of Gstaad knows what I mean




**This post was edited on Jan 14th 2019 at 6:44:12am


Where r the pants at tho?
5 years ago
0 0
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SavageBiff
Posts: 3483 - Karma: 14,759
Real skiers don’t wear pants
BibManWhere r the pants at tho?
5 years ago
3 0
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Mawbin
Posts: 82 - Karma: 383
SavageBiffReal skiers don’t wear pants


Fully skiing cheeks out is the new wave man
5 years ago
1 0
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Hellblazer_23
Posts: 526 - Karma: 1,925
Age: 8 to 13
Helmet: full racer with chin guard
Clothes: no actual ski gear, just a gs suit with. Shorts and a hoodie over it.
Skis: whatever their trust fund bought them, usually newest heads or rossignol.
Poles: racer Leki's
Accessories: Racing down the only run with a park at the resort. I mean there are 2 trails devoted ski racing but you want bomb down the only park run? Fuck you.
5 years ago
6 0
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armchair_skier
Posts: 2600 - Karma: 33,353
Age: 16
Visor/ruroc helmet. New outerwear kit (prolly black). Brand new full tilts and suuuper short tw pros or honey badgers w look nx11s or griffins.

Side jumps or 50 50s flat boxes 99% of the time, but when they try to hit a rail they slip out and slam on their ass and go back to side jumping.
5 years ago
5 0
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CaptainObvious.
Posts: 5713 - Karma: 20,653
ButteredToast.Idk man I got a lot of oldhead buddies that absolutely rip and still wear Saga because it’s what was in style when they were big park skiers.

Also I still wear Saga and I SHREDDDDD 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

I actually don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad skier wearing saga... maybe dudes with poor technique that ski too much park but certainly not jerries


It's because the real jerries are the ones who replace perfectly fine gear to fit in with a trend or worry about their on-hill clout.

Wear what you want and don't change yourself to fit what NS' latest mold is. I have Saga that I still wear because it's damn good outerwear and it being four years old doesn't change that.

edit: Yeah I know it's a year-old comment, but it's even more applicable nowadays with everyone hopping on the "Shit on saga" train.

**This post was edited on Jan 28th 2020 at 4:06:44pm
5 years ago
5 0
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Chunderface
Posts: 2556 - Karma: 10,011
I wonder what the gaper percentage per sport is for those 18 to 24, between skiing and snowboarding?
5 years ago
0 0
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Chunderface
Posts: 2556 - Karma: 10,011
Also, and I'll probably get hate for this, but I'm actually being serious. Has anyone ever seen an asian that is not a gaper?
5 years ago
4 4
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powpatrol
Posts: 1746 - Karma: 11,310
skeirmanAlso, and I'll probably get hate for this, but I'm actually being serious. Has anyone ever seen an asian that is not a gaper?


Yes.
5 years ago
5 1
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clindblomskier
Posts: 686 - Karma: 5,141
armchair_skierAge: 16
Visor/ruroc helmet. New outerwear kit (prolly black). Brand new full tilts and suuuper short tw pros or honey badgers w look nx11s or griffins.

Side jumps or 50 50s flat boxes 99% of the time, but when they try to hit a rail they slip out and slam on their ass and go back to side jumping.


This one is so common at my local
5 years ago
2 0
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ILparkskier
Posts: 18 - Karma: 150
-Skis= rentals that are undersized
-Clothing/Outerwear Style - snowmobile snow suit
-Goggles- XS goggles with nose peice
-Boots- grey rental boots
-Gloves- yamaha or no gloves
-Accessories- helmet none, camo face mask
5 years ago
5 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 23,207
ILparkskier-Skis= rentals that are undersized
-Clothing/Outerwear Style - snowmobile snow suit
-Goggles- XS goggles with nose peice
-Boots- grey rental boots
-Gloves- yamaha or no gloves
-Accessories- helmet none, camo face mask

This sounds very Midwestern
5 years ago
0 0
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ILparkskier
Posts: 18 - Karma: 150
STEEZUS_CHRI5TThis sounds very Midwestern


Look at my username :) gapers here are too the max because its not expensive to ride unlike out west, 43 bucks for a full day pass and like 250 for a szn pass
5 years ago
4 0
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nmwninjart
Posts: 3079 - Karma: 15,759
STEEZUS_CHRI5TThis sounds very Midwestern

Because it is. The fxr ( or whatever it is) racing snowmobile suit is very common attire here....everywhere not just on the hill
5 years ago
1 0
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STEEZUS_CHRI5T
Posts: 3019 - Karma: 23,207
nmwninjartBecause it is. The fxr ( or whatever it is) racing snowmobile suit is very common attire here....everywhere not just on the hill

I’m from WI (now NC)

**This post was edited on Feb 5th 2020 at 1:26:20pm
5 years ago
0 0
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lukemostoller
Posts: 31 - Karma: 138
Skis: Head or Salomon carving skis, absolutely no rocker 160-170 cm
Bindings: system bindings on above skis, dins set significantly too low
Jacket: standard ski instructors jacket, name tag and level 1 pin on right chest pocket
Pants: whatever standard color is required for the job
Helmet/ Goggles: bought at mountain ski shop, severely overpaid for both
Boots: Lange, Head
, or fischer race boots, 130 flex even though they are not an aggressive skier
ski style: super slow short radius turns, never has gone above 40 mph, ungroomed trails are not an option, skis never leave ground except the daily run through the park, making sure to hit every rail jump off the side
attributes: has absolutely no idea how to ski anything but groomers, will not take well to rocker skis, twin tips, or anything over 180 cm
5 years ago
6 0
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bogust
Posts: 708 - Karma: 7,392
LukeTheWaffleThat one Visor helmet
Kastle/stöckli skis
Those 3 finger mittens
Moncler Jacket
Jeans (must be tucked in to boots)


yo I know that kid
5 years ago
0 0
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