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theabortionator
April, 2025

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Build-a-gaper

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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,193
Alright NS,

Im bored here at work so I've got a thread idea.... Everyone gets to create their own Jerry.

Please include everything in their kit

Including:

-Skis
-Clothing/Outerwear Style
-Goggles
-Boots
-Gloves
-Accessories

and anything else that comes to mind.

After enough entries we will have a vote as to which Jerry is the WORST skier on the mountain.
6 years ago
18 1
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ArseneFox
Posts: 150 - Karma: 1,190
Full Tilt, Saga, Virtika, Tall T, Jiberish, Supreme, ON3P, FOX Racing, Betty Boop, & Mountain Dew Pajamas
6 years ago
41 3
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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,193
ArseneFoxFull Tilt, Saga, Virtika, Tall T, Jiberish, Supreme, ON3P, FOX Racing, Betty Boop, & Mountain Dew Pajamas


You really must know your stuff ;)
6 years ago
1 1
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tsingtaofanatic
Posts: 3344 - Karma: 4,583
Skis: ON3P
Clothing/Outerwear: Adidas Trackpants, The Bunch Healthgang Official hoodie (hood has to be under helmet)
Goggles: Speed goggles
Boots: Full Tilts
Gloves: Mitts
Accessories: Scarf
6 years ago
42 13
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Biffbarf
Posts: 7323 - Karma: 78,245
Whatever OP wears
6 years ago
50 0
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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,193
Wide surface pow skis 165cm
White scratched helmet w/ saggy brown beanie underneath
Generic Golden tint Goggles
Columbia coat
DC pants (orange)
Some old salamon ski boots 2 sizes too big
bandana facemask

**This post was edited on Jan 12th 2019 at 11:53:36pm
6 years ago
34 0
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TRVP_ANGEL
Posts: 12682 - Karma: 119,491
calvin klein jeans
6 years ago
17 0
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HypeBeast
Posts: 10028 - Karma: 75,832
-Skis- red, white, and blue K2 directional skis
-Clothing/Outerwear Style- dark blue Levi jeans, camo jacket, orange face mask, pom hat
-Goggles- whatever Chinese brand for $25 in Amazon with mirror lenses no matter how dim the lighting is outside.
-Boots- gray rentals
-Gloves- whatever the cheapest black pair of gloves at Dick's Sporting Goods
-Accessories- beer in hand, ear buds
6 years ago
24 0
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HypeBeast
Posts: 10028 - Karma: 75,832
This entry doesn't count but it might be better imo:

-Skis- vishnu
-Clothing/Outerwear Style- BAGGY black Armada snow pants with suspenders hanging; 5XL white t-shirt under a 3XL gray hoodie, under a Sammy Sosa Chicago Cubs jersey that is unbuttoned and flapping in the wind; rasta pom hat
-Goggles- Dragon brand, green mirror lens
-Boots- Full tilt
-Gloves- Black Dakine mittens
-Accessories- skullcandy headphones draped around neck while simultaneously blasting rap music from a portable speaker, 20" ski poles and one has a gopro on it, weed in pocket, patchy beard with a braided goatee


Height 5'6"
Hair: dreads
Teeth: fucked
6 years ago
19 8
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c0ntentcreat0r
Posts: 347 - Karma: 895
runforlove2018This entry doesn't count but it might be better imo:

-Skis- vishnu
-Clothing/Outerwear Style- BAGGY black Armada snow pants with suspenders hanging; 5XL white t-shirt under a 3XL gray hoodie, under a Sammy Sosa Chicago Cubs jersey that is unbuttoned and flapping in the wind; rasta pom hat
-Goggles- Dragon brand, green mirror lens
-Boots- Full tilt
-Gloves- Black Dakine mittens
-Accessories- skullcandy headphones draped around neck while simultaneously blasting rap music from a portable speaker, 20" ski poles and one has a gopro on it, weed in pocket, patchy beard with a braided goatee


Height 5'6"
Hair: dreads
Teeth: fucked


For the first bit I thought u were describing a wabby/late 2000s park rat hybrid
6 years ago
22 0
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CharlzHub
Posts: 1168 - Karma: 8,575
Ruroc
6 years ago
54 0
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LukeTheWaffle
Posts: 1847 - Karma: 8,884
That one Visor helmet
Kastle/stöckli skis
Those 3 finger mittens
Moncler Jacket
Jeans (must be tucked in to boots)
6 years ago
16 2
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Govygen_gourmet
Posts: 380 - Karma: -477
Age 16-18
Height 6’1”
still snowplowing but learning their turns
Skis- Line Honeybadgers 171 mounted -3 from center
Boots- Full Tilt Drop Kicks from 2016 or rental boots (no inbetween)
TallT Hoodie that fits almost perfectly... Black
Virtika Pants... Black
Oversized gloves that cannot tuck inside hoodie
Poles that are too long for them
Blackstrap Facemask But they don’t wear the mask all the way over their mouth so they have that donkey ass look on their face
Orange tinted goggles with magnetic lenses
Goggles under rental helmet
School Backpack
Earbuds or speaker
6 years ago
21 0
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Vincent_Diesel
Posts: 58 - Karma: 132
Why do Full Tilt boots seem to be the gapers choice boot?

Asking for a friend.
6 years ago
32 0
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_IRRELEVANT_
Posts: 944 - Karma: 4,427
Skis: rental skis *minimum* 10 years old way to short for their height
Jacket: dark blue and extra long coat with fur on hood
Goggles / helmet: none
Gloves: some random black gloves they found in their car
Face mask: preferably none or sitting around neck
6 years ago
6 1
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ajerrywithstyle
Posts: 34 - Karma: 118
Visor helmet on top of a ruroc
6 years ago
9 0
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marrows
Posts: 399 - Karma: 656
Ski school uniform
Head super shape 170cm
British
Goggles over helmet
6 years ago
11 3
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Park_Ranger
Posts: 3825 - Karma: 8,635
Wearing an NFL Jersey over their jacket. Bonus points if it is Houston Texans, Dallas Cowboys, New Orleans Saints, or the Kansas City Chiefs.
6 years ago
25 0
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jacksmagicshirt
Posts: 44 - Karma: 232
Chinese Tourist,
Rental helmet but no goggles
thin teeshirt under massive faux fur jacket, unzipped
sweatpants tucked into rental boots that are totally unbuckled
no gloves
154 cm rentals with dins set to 3
speaks absolutely no english
6 years ago
43 1
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,185
jacksmagicshirtChinese Tourist,
Rental helmet but no goggles
thin teeshirt under massive faux fur jacket, unzipped
sweatpants tucked into rental boots that are totally unbuckled
no gloves
154 cm rentals with dins set to 3
speaks absolutely no english


Watching people eject on low dins is hilarious.... Brb do a turn on moguls. BoOOm ski ejects hahahha
6 years ago
14 0
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CabbyArrant
Posts: 780 - Karma: 4,129
Vincent_DieselWhy do Full Tilt boots seem to be the gapers choice boot?

Asking for a friend.


Because I got them as a gamer. For real though in 2008 they were really popular among park skiers and went out of style because boots are less of a one type fits all. They went out ok f style like saga which is now worn by gapers.
6 years ago
4 6
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,571
CabbyArrantBecause I got them as a gamer. For real though in 2008 they were really popular among park skiers and went out of style because boots are less of a one type fits all. They went out ok f style like saga which is now worn by gapers.


Idk man I got a lot of oldhead buddies that absolutely rip and still wear Saga because it’s what was in style when they were big park skiers.

Also I still wear Saga and I SHREDDDDD 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

I actually don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad skier wearing saga... maybe dudes with poor technique that ski too much park but certainly not jerries
6 years ago
22 2
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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,193
Spyder ski jackets and soul 7's go together like bread and butter
6 years ago
26 0
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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,193
runforlove2018This entry doesn't count but it might be better imo:

-Skis- vishnu
-Clothing/Outerwear Style- BAGGY black Armada snow pants with suspenders hanging; 5XL white t-shirt under a 3XL gray hoodie, under a Sammy Sosa Chicago Cubs jersey that is unbuttoned and flapping in the wind; rasta pom hat
-Goggles- Dragon brand, green mirror lens
-Boots- Full tilt
-Gloves- Black Dakine mittens
-Accessories- skullcandy headphones draped around neck while simultaneously blasting rap music from a portable speaker, 20" ski poles and one has a gopro on it, weed in pocket, patchy beard with a braided goatee


Height 5'6"
Hair: dreads
Teeth: fucked


LMAO "teeth = Fucked"
6 years ago
11 0
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r00kie
Posts: 5238 - Karma: 59,591
Jeans, rentals, and a straight-line tuck for a kicker.
6 years ago
5 0
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DesertStix
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 15,021
I feel so attacked
6 years ago
10 0
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Sharko
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 4,104
Skis: salomon QST, brand new, very short
Clothes: all black spyder everything, brand new
goggles: POC helmet and goggles, brand new
boots: old thrift shop langes that say “race” all over them
accessories: small child who is pizza-ing through the park out of control while dad yells at you for being too close to his kid. Wife in Canada Goose jacket doing the gaper tuck yelling “do a helicopter!”


...May be based on real events
6 years ago
21 0
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DesertStix
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 15,021
Skis- 15-20 year old Volkl directionals with original markers mounted
Clothing/Outerwear Style- tipsy elves neon one piece
Goggles- blenders eyewear because it was advertised on IG and had s i c k floral pattern
Boots- last years rentals that were bought at end of season clearance sale
Gloves- 15-20 year old olive green L.L. Beans.
Accessories- dented Smith mips helmet with mounted GoPro, bent leki poles, and a STACK of old ass lift tickets on zipper to let everyone know locations shredded...
6 years ago
10 1
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Denseclouds
Posts: 536 - Karma: 3,193
Im realling liking all these posts NS fam.. Keep em coming! Dig deep!
6 years ago
0 0
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,571
Anyone pizza bombing anything

that one kid trying to rip while skiing horribly backseat and unintentionally busting wheelies when he hits moguls and almost dying

Skis: rentals or old line skis
boots: nondescript black boots with red buckles (why are they always red?)
outerwear: plain black bibs with a high school hoodie, or camo jacket
goggles: cheap black goggles with orange lenses
accessories: small backpack with a “COME AND TAKE IT” gun patch on it and a punisher logo patch, Bluetooth UE Boom speaker (the cylinder ones) obnoxiously carabiner’d to the backpack blasting butt rap
6 years ago
9 1
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numnuts
Posts: 395 - Karma: 1,155
runforlove2018-Skis- red, white, and blue K2 directional skis
-Clothing/Outerwear Style- dark blue Levi jeans, camo jacket, orange face mask, pom hat
-Goggles- whatever Chinese brand for $25 in Amazon with mirror lenses no matter how dim the lighting is outside.
-Boots- gray rentals
-Gloves- whatever the cheapest black pair of gloves at Dick's Sporting Goods
-Accessories- beer in hand, ear buds


Just started instructing at my local hill and this is probably the most spot on one instead of K2's its generic directional rossi skis
6 years ago
6 1
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numnuts
Posts: 395 - Karma: 1,155
These basically sum up my instructing classes and what people wear as I teach
Skis: rossi experience RTL rental skis or any generic directional rossi skis
Gear: either fur hooded coat with just a t-shirt under or a Gerry brand jacket with far too many layers underneath. dins on bindings is as low as .5 and never goes higher than 3
goggles/helmet: Bolle bug eye goggles (goggles likely dangling off the back of the helmet clip too) and helmet but it's almost always a kid wearing that. As for adults, it's usually generic chinese amazon ordered magnet goggles with any type of helmet that they can find.
boots: rossi rental boots that came with the skis or any type of rental boot really
gloves: kids it's usually the same gloves that every other kid wears and it's either black gloves or pink and purple gloves that dont fit underneath the jacket sleeves cause the wrist cuff is so huge. Adults it's mostly the same thing but now the gloves can tuck underneath their sleeves yet no one realizes they can do it so now its just an exposed gap of skin
6 years ago
5 0
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skiguy04
Posts: 1640 - Karma: 1,272
Awfully specific - sounds like this is a topic that festers in the minds of the majority of skiers

Snowboard
6 years ago
11 0
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BigPurpleSkiSuit
Posts: 9587 - Karma: 71,276
Age:13-17
Skis: rossignol bandits circa 1990-2005
Helmet: silver with a sticker front and center
Jacket: black with a single gray stripe that's open the whole time
Gloves: cheap, wet and falling apart
Boots: old and bought by a cheap parent from craigslist
Goggles: smith from the 90s usually yellow lens
Skiing style: high speed death pizza to brutal faceplant
6 years ago
12 1
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shinbangclan
Posts: 1177 - Karma: 7,552
this is the result of rich kids who shop by price tag
seen it with my own eyes... anyone who's ever heard of Gstaad knows what I mean




**This post was edited on Jan 14th 2019 at 6:44:12am
6 years ago
22 0
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Vincent_Diesel
Posts: 58 - Karma: 132
Interesting thread. After reading this in full I’m a bit more confused about the term gaper now.

Is it fair to say that all of us had early beginnings as a gaper.
6 years ago
17 0
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CalumSKI
Posts: 4379 - Karma: 26,116
runforlove2018This entry doesn't count but it might be better imo:

-Skis- vishnu
-Clothing/Outerwear Style- BAGGY black Armada snow pants with suspenders hanging; 5XL white t-shirt under a 3XL gray hoodie, under a Sammy Sosa Chicago Cubs jersey that is unbuttoned and flapping in the wind; rasta pom hat
-Goggles- Dragon brand, green mirror lens
-Boots- Full tilt
-Gloves- Black Dakine mittens
-Accessories- skullcandy headphones draped around neck while simultaneously blasting rap music from a portable speaker, 20" ski poles and one has a gopro on it, weed in pocket, patchy beard with a braided goatee


Height 5'6"
Hair: dreads
Teeth: fucked


bonus points if they say arrr arrr!
6 years ago
6 0
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rojo.grande
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 12,502
All you really need is 3 things.
1) Full Head Ruroc helmet
2) Backpack with a speaker blasting Sicko mode
3) So far in the backseat they’re almost sitting down
6 years ago
19 0
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skiguy04
Posts: 1640 - Karma: 1,272
hubbardsthis is the result of rich kids who shop by price tag
seen it with my own eyes... anyone who's ever heard of Gstaad knows what I mean




**This post was edited on Jan 14th 2019 at 6:44:12am


Gstaad or st moritz as well
6 years ago
6 0
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G-Moneyy
Posts: 45 - Karma: 126
POC Helmet
Racing Gloves
Race Suit
Head Skis
Head Boots
6 years ago
7 3
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patagonialuke
Posts: 1627 - Karma: 8,688
SharkoSkis: salomon QST, brand new, very short
Clothes: all black spyder everything, brand new
goggles: POC helmet and goggles, brand new
boots: old thrift shop langes that say “race” all over them
accessories: small child who is pizza-ing through the park out of control while dad yells at you for being too close to his kid. Wife in Canada Goose jacket doing the gaper tuck yelling “do a helicopter!”


...May be based on real events


listing a child and wife as "accessories" makes this my favorite submission.
6 years ago
9 0
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shinbangclan
Posts: 1177 - Karma: 7,552
The referenced post has been removed.


tru but nobody is out here rippin them
6 years ago
3 0
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1kewldewd
Posts: 796 - Karma: 1,147
ButteredToast.Idk man I got a lot of oldhead buddies that absolutely rip and still wear Saga because it’s what was in style when they were big park skiers.

Also I still wear Saga and I SHREDDDDD 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

I actually don’t think I’ve ever seen a bad skier wearing saga... maybe dudes with poor technique that ski too much park but certainly not jerries


I see people with old saga that rip, but most people I see kitted out in new saga tend to suck
6 years ago
1 0
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,571
1kewldewdI see people with old saga that rip, but most people I see kitted out in new saga tend to suck


Can confirm. I just got a new saga jacket and now I’m pizza turning everywhere :(
6 years ago
13 0
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SuspiciousFish
Posts: 2794 - Karma: 16,914
I actually saw this at Vail lift line a few years ago:

A guy had a button up Polo shirt under a $800 Arcteryx jacket and was skiing with his wife that had a fur lined jacket and no gloves so everyone could see her giant $25,000 ring even though it was 20 deg out and windy.
6 years ago
6 0
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,571
SuspiciousFishI actually saw this at Vail lift line a few years ago:

A guy had a button up Polo shirt under a $800 Arcteryx jacket and was skiing with his wife that had a fur lined jacket and no gloves so everyone could see her giant $25,000 ring even though it was 20 deg out and windy.


This sounds like some Deer Valley bullshit lol

**This post was edited on Jan 14th 2019 at 1:25:43pm
6 years ago
8 0
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xxACIDTRIPxx
Posts: 5980 - Karma: 8,185
How about the European gaper:

Solomon 118 qsts that are too big in 192.
Fluro Helly Hansen with matching pants.
Or
Full picture organic suit
Black racer helmet with earpads still in.
Brand new Smith goggles.

Will never venture off piste or duck ropes without $800 of avalanche gear and Atleast 5 people after doing ast 1.

Likes to bomb alot of moguls and do those super short racer turns. Like 10 in a row.
6 years ago
6 2
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Sharko
Posts: 2274 - Karma: 4,104
XxAc1DtR1PxXHow about the European gaper:

Solomon 118 qsts that are too big in 192.
Fluro Helly Hansen with matching pants.
Or
Full picture organic suit
Black racer helmet with earpads still in.
Brand new Smith goggles.

Will never venture off piste or duck ropes without $800 of avalanche gear and Atleast 5 people after doing ast 1.

Likes to bomb alot of moguls and do those super short racer turns. Like 10 in a row.


I donno about gaper, this guy sounds good, smart, and fashionable
6 years ago
9 1
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Evantheshredster
Posts: 429 - Karma: 935
satanworshipperSkis: ON3P
Clothing/Outerwear: Adidas Trackpants, The Bunch Healthgang Official hoodie (hood has to be under helmet)
Goggles: Speed goggles
Boots: Full Tilts
Gloves: Mitts


Accessories: Scarf



kinda sounds like skimanguy
6 years ago
8 0
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