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Parked in Handicapped (kind of autistic so its ok) spot this afternoon to head into wendies, come back out and officer Judy fuckface decides to slap me with a $100 ticket (mom said she will pay for it). I tried to talk her out of and she keeps sniffling her nose the whole conversation and I get really annoyed after 10 minutes of this back and forth. I yelled asking why she keeps sniffling, does she have a cold? She doesn't respond to that and thats when I woke up and realized I fell asleep watching zootopia while eating wendies
I parked my 18 wheeler perpendicularly across 10 parking spots at my son’s curling tournament. This nosey bitch had the audacity to tell me that “I was taking up too much room and needed to move my vehicle.” This made me angry, and so using the reconnaissance that I was taught in the military, I quickly identified a child who resembled this lady, and I beat the shit out of him. I seriously pummeled that motherfucker. I knew that he was dead at this point, and so I decided to kill two birds with one stone, and hurled his lifeless 80 pound body right at the woman’s face. The body hit the lady with such force that it decapitated her. I picked up her head and brought it home with me, where I then shrunk it. It is now a hood ornament for my truck. Moral of the story: mind your goddamn beeswax.