Newschoolers Ghost Stories

It all started when I was drunk messaging a girl on Tinder and she said that the only way we would meet up was if I did this weird ritual thing where I summon a ghost or some shit. I think she called it Mea Culpa or something.

Actually, her exact message was,

the decaying flesh will not rest i am the alpha and omega i have seen the burning cities consume the earth hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [LINK TO RITUAL INSTRUCTIONS] our souls meet when darkness spills mea culpa mea culpa mea culpa kkkkkkkkkkkkkkggggggg

She was a weird chick.

At least, I think she was a girl. I couldn’t really see her face. Her picture was just a black background with two shiny dots that kind of looked like eyeballs. You could sort of see some features, but it looked like her face was gray and I couldn’t really see her mouth. But she had really good skin. I wasn’t about to rally for a pizza face.

So, anyway, I weighed the pros and cons of spooky rituals vs trampoline booty as best I could on five shots of Patron.

It was totally worth it.

I set my cell phone to 3:26 am, but since my phone is a 2005 Motorola Razor that was dropped in the toilet several times, it went off at 4:00am. FUCK.

I decided to go through with the ritual anyway. I was also supposed to have a friend during this thing, but my bestie recently got incarcerated for selling heroin on the corner of Patterson Park and Eastern Avenue. Shout out to my main man, Roscoe.

Anyway, I sat up and turned off my alarm, but the moment I turned it off I drunkenly passed out again. I woke up 20 minutes later and actually got out of bed this time, stumbling around the room in the dark because apparently you’re not supposed to turn on the lights, because if you do a GHOST WILL POP OUT OOOH.

I was supposed to find a candle and light it, but my hangover just made me trip over one of the several candles I placed on my floor. Eventually I gave up and flipped the lights on, grabbing a candle from my desk.

I squinted out my window to see what my ghetto Baltimore neighborhood looked like at 4:20am. The street was empty except for some rando wearing a black robe and a giant pointy black hat. He was staring up at me through the window. I couldn’t really see his face. You know, Baltimore has gone to the fucking dogs. First gang wars, now an updated KKK. For God’s sake.

I lit the candle and looked at my phone. I was supposed to knock on my bedroom door 66 times, the 66th knock timed on the 4:06, but since I had fucked everything else up I just did a “Shave and a Haircut” knock and then walked into my hallway. My bedroom door is opposite the stairs, and looking down that dark stairwell was pretty spooky. I thought I saw something move on one of the lower steps.

For the next step, I was supposed to close my eyes and walk forward while chanting, “mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa”, which is Italian for “my Culpa”, which is probably some kind of shitty Italian car. I tried to close my eyes and walk forward while talking about Italian cars, but my cat, Fish Sticks, ran under my feet and I ended up tripping over him and falling down the flight of stairs.

At some point the stupid candle went out as I flailed down the stairs, but I was too concussed to care. I rolled up from the ground, groaning, and decided that I would just continue to go through the motions, which meant hiding in a closet and waiting for the ghost to play hide and seek with me. I chose the kitchen pantry because I had some opened potato chips in there, so I made my way back.

As I stumbled, I heard several soft whispers behind me. I spun around, hoping that I was right about Fish Sticks knowing how to talk, but there was no one there.

Except for the figure standing in the corner.

I stopped, blinked, and it was gone. I really needed to lay off the Patron.

As I honed in on the closet, the alcohol and concussion finally caught up with me and I stumbled to a stop, doubling over and vomiting watery Patron all over my kitchen floor. FUCK. My ass was landlord grass. The hellish combination of alcohol, concussion, post-vomit and a looming eviction notice caused my emotions to go haywire and I unleashed a violent sob, mucus and tears rivering down my face.

I heard a noise outside the kitchen.

My eyes fell on the kitchen window and I spied that stupid gang member/KKK dude in my backyard, still staring at me. I must’ve looked like an idiot, weeping in front of my kitchen pantry. Too ashamed to confront him, I just crawled into the pantry and shut the door. It was so cold in there it damn froze my man-titties off. My air conditioner was probably broken. I definitely needed to call the landlord, but that would mean sedating Fish Sticks and stuffing him in a suitcase under my bed.

At this point, I realized that I needed to reevaluate my life. Maybe I shouldn’t drink as much. Maybe I should give Fish Sticks to a good home. Maybe I should find women with intellect and poise. Maybe I should move out of my shit neighborhood where KKK people roam around at 4am.

After going through an entire existential crisis in my pantry, I decided to say fuck it and end the stupid ritual. That Tinder girl wasn’t even that hot, anyway. And besides, I still had like seventy more ritual things to complete, which included lighting eight more candles, stabbing a Japanese doll, and spinning around in a circle while screaming, “YOU’RE IT, YOU’RE IT!”

This was all supposed to culminate in me going to my basement, sitting in front of a mirror, and looking into the mirror but not actually looking into it, which made absolutely no fucking sense.

As I got up to open the pantry door, I heard a low moan coming from behind the door. I froze. I prayed to God it wasn’t my landlord.

I cracked open the door to see the gang member/KKK guy standing in the kitchen, staring at me. I finally got a good look at him. He definitely didn’t have a face. I guess getting your face taken away is part of a gang ritual now.

He didn’t react to my presence— he just stared. I didn’t know how the hell to deal with gang members or faceless KKK members, so I just stared back. We did this for about five minutes before I slowly inched out of the kitchen and back upstairs. He turned to watch me as I went, but didn’t move.

So after that I went up to my bathroom to take a shower and now my shower-head is leaking, which I blame on the stupid ritual. So if you guys know any good plumbers in the Baltimore area, I would really appreciate it

^lol
don't you have a lawn to mow or something?

Anyone else remember the thread for scary ghost stories a few years back? That threads gold

TRVP_ANGELIt all started when I was drunk messaging a girl on Tinder

Thanks so much, I haven’t laughed that hard about anything on the internet in a long time.

TRVP_ANGELmea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa, which is Italian for “my Culpa”

That's Latin man, not Italian

I have a story

I was messaging this girl. I even met her at party so I thought everything would go smoothly. I had been messaging her for almost two months at this point. She would ALWAYS respond. It felt really good too. Most of the responses were just one word so I knew she was into me. So I decided to ask her out one night.

I wrote a super long message outlining exactly what we would do. The premise was simple. I invited her over to my house so we could shit post on NS all night. I said that snacks would be included like Mountain Dew and Doritos.

I never heard from her again

Sounds like a keeper

DirtYStylEI have a story

I was messaging this girl. I even met her at party so I thought everything would go smoothly. I had been messaging her for almost two months at this point. She would ALWAYS respond. It felt really good too. Most of the responses were just one word so I knew she was into me. So I decided to ask her out one night.

I wrote a super long message outlining exactly what we would do. The premise was simple. I invited her over to my house so we could shit post on NS all night. I said that snacks would be included like Mountain Dew and Doritos.

I never heard from her again

FIRATSounds like a keeper

You sea, this was a fishy story. She was actually a ghost

nsg is a ghost town.
haunted by the spirits of banned members who said a potty word one time and paid the ultimate price.

It was a Saturday night when it happened.
When they showed up.
I was seventeen years old and at the time and my parents had just split up after being together for twenty years. My dad was now living in a nice little trailer deep inside a forest near my local village. After the break up things weren't going too well for him and money was hard to get he had become a bit depressed. One evening I got into an argument with my mum about something small and stupid so I decided to stay round my dads. After walking for a bit I eventually arrived and I could see him round the back of the trailer standing with his back towards me. I called out to him but he didn't respond. I called out to him again but this time he walked behind the trailer so he was no longer in sight. I ran up to see what he was doing and when I got up to the back of the trailer he was gone. I was confused where had he gone? a slight crack of a branch startled me I looked back and my dad was there walking with the dog back from the direction I came from 'Hey Jimmy' he yelled 'what are you doing here?' 'Oh hey' I was slightly confused 'wasn't you just... he cut me off and said he had just taken the dog for a walk. 'But that can't be possible' I uttered to myself he looked at me and asked if I was ok. 'Its just.. um.. never mind' I brushed it off and thought it was due to my tiredness. 'Anyway lets get back into the trailer' said dad 'it looks like its about to rain, fancy a beer?'
A few hours later It was raining hard and me and dad was watching TV. I looked next to me and dad was asleep. I needed a smoke so I opened the trailer door and sat on the porch with the dog. I lit up a cigarette took a puff and sat there calmly, I have always found the sound of rain on a tin roof relaxing especially in the countryside too. Sitting there in the light of the outside lamp looking out towards the endless abyss of darkness I could hear footsteps. Very muffled but I could still hear them. The dog suddenly looked very puzzled and frightened and ran back inside the trailer. The footsteps grew louder and closer I yelled 'WHO'S THERE?' all of a sudden the footsteps stopped. I pulled out my phone and activated the flashlight device. I pointed it toward the darkness unveiling nothing but trees and dead leaves. I shined the flashlight around and slightly to my left I could see someones arm sticking out from behind a tree. 'Who's there? show yourself now!' Slowly and silently the person walked out into the light reveling himself. I was terrified and confused. A big tall man with a beard wearing a red checked shirt stood before me 'It can't be.' That's impossible! It was my dad? but that can't be because he is asleep in the front room? I double checked and quickly looked through the window. He was there asleep on the chair. I looked back on this replica of my dad and he let out a huge disturbing grin and chuckled I quivered 'What are you?'. He started to walk towards me and as he was doing so my flashlight device started to flicker. It turned off. Darkness. I went to adjust it and it turned back on. He was now standing on the first step of the trailer he was looking right at me he stared deep into my soul and uttered the words 'SEE YOU SOON JIMMY'.
He then turned and walked away back into the forest still visible by my flashlight. Another flicker of the flashlight. Then it was off. I managed to turn it back on again and shined it around. He was gone. He had retreated back into the depths of darkness. Still frightened and shaken up I ran back into the trailer and slammed the door shut immediately locking it. My dad, my real dad woke up from his sleep he looked at me and asked what I was doing. In my shaken voice I said I was just having a smoke. I didn't want to tell him. he'd think i'm crazy, he'd think i'm on drugs he wouldn't believe me!
That night I had very little sleep. But when I did sleep I'd dream I was in my house but it wasn't my house. Things were different. Everything seemed more sinister and surreal. I dreamed that I had woken up in the morning but it wasn't the morning it was still dark. I was walking down the stairs to the kitchen. As I walked down the stairs they grew longer and I could see paintings of my family members hanging up on the wall of the stairs. In each painting my family members look terrified like they are frightened of something and I could hear a distant metallic screaming etching its way into my skull like it was trying to tell me something was wrong. I almost reached the bottom of the stairs and at the bottom my little sister stood there beckoning me to come down. I reached the bottom and my sister was no longer there I turned round the corner and my sister and my family was all sitting round the kitchen table humming this rhythmic tune. I walked towards the kitchen. My family stopped the humming and at the exact same time they slowly turned their heads and looked at me. Dead looks on their faces no expression. They must have stared at me for a while then finally they stepped out of their dead trance and let out a big cheesy grin 'come and sit with us Jimmy' said mum 'we have saved you a seat' they all pointed towards the seat. I reluctantly sat down. An awkward silence consumed the room. I looked at the table and in front of me sat a cup of tea it was never there before? I looked up at them they were all still smiling Dad suddenly spoke 'Drink the tea' he calmly said. So I did. I picked up the cup and drank the tea. All at once they started the humming but it grew louder. I started to become dizzy my vision blurred 'What have you done to me?' They all got out their seat and gathered up close to me. My mum looked up at me and said 'the transformation has started, we must contact the others' My sister walks away to the other room and comes back with a mirror she faces the mirror in my direction. I'm now screaming. I look at my reflection It's me. But its not me. In my reflection I am laughing hysterically whereas in reality I am screaming I look behind me in the reflection and I can see a painting hanging up on the kitchen wall. Its me in the painting? The real me the screaming terrified me.
I then woke up in a cold sweat back in the trailer. It was all just a dream I couldn't tell if what had happened to me earlier was a dream or a reality. I suddenly remembered it was real. The realization sent chills across my body again as I remembered what had happened. I sat up in my room surrounded by darkness with only the dim light of the porch glowing through the window from behind the curtain. I could still hear the cold heavy rain on the the trailer roof. A sense of dread came over me as I looked towards the window. Something was out there. I could feel it. I could then see a shadow gliding past the window. It was a shadow of a woman. She glided past the window again but this time she stopped half way through. She called out to me in a calming tone 'Jimmy... JIMMY...' 'MUM?' I called out cautiously. 'Jimmy come back home, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier just come outside and i'll take you home' I quickly got up and grabbed a blunt object. I knew that the thing outside was definitely no my mum. It was one of them. The doppelgangers. I slowly walked towards the window clutching my solid wooden baseball bat. I cautiously approached the curtain and pulled it back. Standing before me was my mum. 'What do you want? I asked it, 'I just want you to come outside jimmy, Jimmy whats the matter?' she looked at me with that evil sinister smile just like the smile I saw in the dream. I shut the curtain and slowly walked back. Her voice now became louder she was now demanding me to come out side. She started to shout 'JIMMY I WON'T SAY THIS AGAIN. COME WITH ME!' I ran over to my bedroom door and locked it. I then ran to the back of my room and sat in the corner beside my bed. She started to bang on the window. After a few minuets she stopped It went quiet. But I could still see her standing there. She started to hum. The same humming I heard in my dream. She turned and walked away I could hear her as the humming grew muffled and then ceased. She was gone. I then made a sigh of relief and laid against the floor. I fell asleep.
I awoke the next day. It was warm and stuffy in my room, I was surprised I even slept the rest of the night after what had happened. I got up off the floor and put some clothes on. I walked up to my window dreading that I'd see something again. I opened the curtains and peered out, nothing out of the ordinary just an endless forest. I walked up to my door and I could hear sizzling bacon, the smell was delicious I proceeded to unlock the door and walked out. My dad was standing in the kitchen cooking he looked at me 'Ah Jimmy! your finally awake, i'v cooked you some breakfast' I sat down at the table and had breakfast. I still didn't want to tell dad in case he'd judge me or think I need medical help. I asked him if he could drop me back home. On the way back home I looked out towards the woods. I had the constant feeling of being watched I could still sense that they were out there watching me. When I got home the street was quiet no birds, no talking no cars, no nothing. A dead silence. I said goodbye to my dad and proceeded to walk into my house. My sister was sat on the sofa and my mum was in the kitchen. I said hello to my sister and she came over and hugged me. My mum heard me walk in and she came into the front room and hugged me. She apologized for having a go at me the previous day and I apologized for shouting at her. While I was hugging my mum and sister they felt cold. not that typical warm feeling you'd feel when being hugged just really really cold. I stopped hugging them stepped away and looked at them both. They both looked at me and smiled. OH MY GOD! I could see it in their eyes it wasn't my mum or sister. At the exact same time they both smiled and tilted their heads and said in a slow and unnerving voice 'whats wrong Jimmy? don't you love us? don't you love your family?' I slowly walked back terrified WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY FAMILY! 'we are your family Jimmy come and sit with us' I turned to run away and the my dad was standing behind me laughing. I pushed past him and ran out into the street screaming for help. All the neighbors were in their gardens. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at me. They all tilted their heads and smiled. Oh no not them too. They all slowly walked towards me. I ran as fast as I could but there were too many and then more showed up. More replicas of the village people. Two of the same. Two of the same as my mum, two of the same of my sister and two of the same as my dad. They all approached me. My doppelganger dad grabbed me. I couldn't move, I couldn't go anywhere. I was in shock. They gathered round me and my mum said we 'must start the transformation' they took me back into my house and tied me down to the table. They forced tea into my mouth. I was drowning in tea. Then they stopped pouring it into my mouth. My sister walked into the other room and came back in with a mirror. They all held the mirror in front of me. I couldn't go anywhere. I stared deep into my reflection and in my reflection started to move It smiled at me and tilted its head. It broke out of the straps and sat up. It's arm came out of the mirror and grabbed me by the throat half its torso came out of the mirror like it was some sort of water fall. It looked at me stared deep into the very depths of my soul and said
THE TRANSFORMATION IS COMPLETE!
'THIS WAS MY NEW DOPPELGANGER FAMILY.'
They come from the forests.

Hey jimmy

TRVP_ANGELIt all started when I was drunk messaging a girl on Tinder

Thank you for posting this. I haven't read something that good online in a long time.

The referenced post has been removed.

Yup, shits gold