Roommates: Annoying habits, weird stories

To start it off, I've had pretty good roommates for most of college. But last year i had to put up with two guys who contantly wanted to pull pranks or other nonsense. Came home one night after a long day around 11pm to find my bed in the living room, clothes in the downstairs closet, and all the hangars pulled off in a other closet. Needless to say I was pissed. Some pranks were kind of funny, some made me contemplate how bad prison could really be for murder.

Do cell mates count?

My roommate and I hated each other after freshman year in the dorms, then 4 months later we moved into a house with 4 other people and I continued to live with him for 4 years. What it comes down to is sharing a room with someone makes living with them 100 times harder, nothing really makes living in a shared room easier.

Walked in on one of the guys who shares the unit I'm in jacking off on the couch stark naked to some granny porn. Just went to my room and watched Every Days a Saturday.

GRaboneSnowWalked in on one of the guys who shares the unit I'm in jacking off on the couch stark naked to some granny porn. Just went to my room and watched Every Days a Saturday.

You got a problem with granny porn, because if so then you have a problem with me

oiucheekykuntYou got a problem with granny porn, because if so then you have a problem with me

I don't have a problem with Granny porn. What your stroke your sausage to is not my business, especially if it's senile old batties with floppy tits!

My roommate opens the window, turns the fan on, and turn the heat off in our dorm every night as soon as I fall asleep. I wake up every morning and my room is like 58 degrees, he's a fuck.

cock and balls

Had an ROTC roommate freshman year.. His whole life was army.. If he wasnt at the gym training he would be watching war documentaries. Maybe just really dedicated but the strangest part in my book was that he had endless playlists of the boot camp marching songs and cadences... Nice dude, just a little strange.

I got along great with my freshman year roommate and hes one of my best friends to this day.

But one of my homies down the hall was a bit of a party animal. He and his roommate had a bunk bed set up and my homie took top bunk. Sometimes he would come home wasted and piss himself in his sleep and the piss would drip down onto his roommate in the middle of the night. I would come back to the dorms at like 4am sometimes and his roommate would be out in the common area trying to sleep on some shitty couch, that's when you knew homie had pissed himself.

I pretty much always had room mates I could manage. My roommate freshman year was probably more annoyed by my drunk ass or telling him not to return for a few hours cuz I was with someone. We did prank each other and this fucker changed my autocorrect on Microsoft Word so that every time I typed my last name, it changed to "Tender Dragon" and every time i typed the word "the" it autocorrected to "the University sucks balls". Thank God I proofread.

My one roommate junior year was a dick and purposefully let our inside cat outside cuz he didn't like it (we lived on a main street). The other roommate wouldn't do his share of cleaning or taking out the garbage or doing dishes. A sink full of dishes when you have a dishwasher drives me insane. He would also be up til 2-3am playing games and yelling on his Xbox headset because he couldn't hear how loud he was.

And my last roommate would do laundry at midnight when I was trying to go to bed, and then would be up at 7 am loud as fuck making food on weekends meanwhile everyone else is trying to sleep off their hangover.


Now I just have apartment neighbors who suck. So many foreigners cooking smelly food. The hallways smell like shit cuz of it. The person above me never sleeps I'm convinced. They're either running back and forth in their apartment with their dog, or walking in high heels with a herd of elephants following them at 4 am. Somehow they're up at 7 am doing the same thing. I guess it's not as bad as the previous person above me who literally was Monk from the TV show. They would vacuum their house twice a day for an hour each time during prime time TV hours.

I like my current roommates but our prank war has gotten a little out of hand in the past year. One of my roommates slipped some of that fake acid bullshit on my egg sammich one morning and when I got to class I lost my whole goddamn mind. The best I could do to get him back was shit in his pillow case. Tbh I'm scared someones gonna die at this point it is escalating quickly

I was living down in key west for the semester on an internship and I worked and lived with the some of the dumbest girls so of course there was lots of drama bewteeen them. Well three of the five girls stayed in a hotel for a few weeks to get away from my one roommate. While they were gone we always had guys over to drink and smoke with. So one night this new guy comes over that was currently in the coast guard and hadn’t drank or smoke in quite some time because of it. He brought a bottle of Bacardis and a few blunts.
Skip foward an hour or so and we decide to take it to my roommates room because they haven’t been back in over a week and don’t have any plans of coming back soon. As we’re going at it, he pulls away from me, looks me in the eyes, and reaches over me to throw up over the side of the bed. Keep in mind this is my roommates room that we weren’t supposed to be in in the first place (karma clearly taught me a lesson) and he spews partially onto me and all down the side of the bed and their fur rug. I jump up, he jumps up, we’re both naked and the room instantly smells like a mixture of alcohol, vomit, and Italian food.
I tell him to shower off in their shower and I go rinse off mine. Then I go barging into my room that I share where my roommate is laying on her bed.
We laugh it off because we’re too drunk to even comprehend what had happened so he grabs his clothes and get him an Uber home.
The next day I cleaned it up with bleach and vinegar so my roommates room was that nastiest shit I have ever smelt (mix of vodka, bleach, vomit and again Italian food) and right as I finish up and sit down in the kitchen one of girls that was staying in the hotel walks in and goes straight to her room. She asks what smelt so weird in there and I just said that they must’ve left some food in there and that was that.
To this day none of the girls know about it and I hangout with that same guy the next day and went spear fishing.

caught my roommate masturbating to stock/cryptocurrency charts. Hes also the type of guy to have inspirational quotes and career driven bios on his twitter. Needless to say I called the cops

**This post was edited on Apr 10th 2018 at 3:57:41pm

RousedWitsHad an ROTC roommate freshman year.. His whole life was army.. If he wasnt at the gym training he would be watching war documentaries. Maybe just really dedicated but the strangest part in my book was that he had endless playlists of the boot camp marching songs and cadences... Nice dude, just a little strange.

Maybe he just wanted to be all he could be bro?

D I S H E S I N T H E S I N K

theabortionatorMaybe he just wanted to be all he could be bro?

you should have some good stories huh

TRVP_ANGELcaught my roommate masturbating to stock/cryptocurrency charts. Hes also the type of guy to have inspirational quotes and career driven bios on his twitter. Needless to say I called the cops

**This post was edited on Apr 10th 2018 at 3:57:41pm

Should have just called Eheath

My former roommate was a 30 year old sex/cocaine addict with extreme ADHD. Didnt even ski or snowboard. The first day I arrived at the room he wasn't around... But I immediately noticed that the curains were stapled to the wall so the window could not be opened, and the heater was on full blast in the middle of summer. So that was an immediate red flag.

So it began, 10 months of getting locked out of the room, waking up to him screeching like a fucking dinosaur, getting yelled at by his hookups for turning the lights on at 2PM and waking them up, fighting over the room temp, him pissing on the floor while drunk, and so on. One morning I woke up to him having sex with some ugly peruvian hoe in our shared dorm-style room... I flipped the fuck out and ruined their fun, told our boss/landlord, and I was still stuck with him. I spent the last four months totally ignoring him and stealing his coke/weed as payback. He moved to Portland last week so watch the fuck out.

They're all chill people but this one guy puts knives blade up in dishwasher, I'm gonna get cut or stabbed eventually

In the dorms for 3 more weeks thank fuck. One current roommate took all his shit out the bathroom/living room and left for a few weeks and didnt say anything. He's back now but still hasn't unpacked his shit and its been a while. Kinda weird. My other roommate (totaling 2 of 3 roommates now), grew in up in rural Vermont and leaves his room smelling like a barn (it was bad enough you could smell it in the halls). He goes to bed a like 5am and you see him once a week. My last roommate is normal weirdly enough. Be like my last roommate and hope you don't get screwed

My old roommate and I were pretty close I guess, one night we got super fucked up at a party and ended up fucking the same girl the same night and neither of us cared the next day... super fucked but funny

My roommates were pretty chill, but at least once every 3 days we’d have the exact same conversation:

“DIRTYBUBBLE CLEAN YOUR FUCKING DISHES YOUR MOM DOESNT LIVE HERE”

“Uh sorry dude but those aren’t mine”

“BULLSHIT I SAW YOU USE THIS PLATE LAST NIGHT”

*Argument continues for 5 minutes*

Then the 3rd roommate would come out and say
“Uhh sorry lol those are mine”

IamcoreMy old roommate and I were pretty close I guess, one night we got super fucked up at a party and ended up fucking the same girl the same night and neither of us cared the next day... super fucked but funny

That's some greasy shit

moved in with two older dudes in their 30s, i was 21/now 22 so it was a weird dynamic but worked for a little bit. my one roomate was super cool and we kicked it a bunch and played tons of video games and got stoned/drank, that wasn't so bad. they worked day jobs and i worked mostly nights at a hotel so i would always come home late and never really interacted with them a whole lot, and my cool roomate worked out of state for a while building chairlifts and stuff so he was gone from time to time.

my other roomate had some issues. he had a work accident and got hooked on opiates after surgery probably just before i moved in or something, he was really starting to spiral out of control over the 7 months i lived there. started really hitting the bottle and pills throughout my tenure there to the point where he got fired from his job for not showing up. that kinda sent him off the rails, he was basically getting up first thing whenever he got up and headed right to the liquor store to load up on some more tequila and other shit. he'd be pent up in his room just getting all sorts of fucked up playing video games and yelling at people on Call of Duty or whatever, it was super strange.

I came home from work one afternoon to find his brother and some friends giving him a full-blown intervention, but it didnt really do much. he got admitted to a hospital to detox for like a week or two and then came home and was right back at it till his liver pretty much almost gave away and he was in the hospital for like a month. then he went back east for the winter to work for his dad and came back to town. i finished up my lease there back in march cuz i was living elsewhere and working and he texted me about a week ago asking for money for utilities despite me being already paid up and moved out. im not really sure what hes up too, i hope he gets his shit figured out but he doesnt really have much time because family and friends can really only put up with shit for so long.

IsitWinterYet17That's some greasy shit

It was fucked...

Was living in a house with two roommates, I came home real late one night, like 1 or 2 am and my roommate was sitting in our living room with all the lights off, and a tiny fire in our wood stove, he was sitting silently with a pile of axes next to him, and he was very very carefully sharpening each one. Ive never been more afraid walking into my house, hes a super squirrely dude and total bigot and didnt like me for bein queer, I was thoroughly convinced all winter that he was gonna kill me, but luckily I survived

jellomellowyou should have some good stories huh

Split a hotel room with a xannax addicted recovering heroin addict. Coming home to him passed out in the fridge sitting or standing, pouring soap into his chicken, and being a generally cool guy to spend a winter with.

Cocaine addict wooks. Woke up to guy going in their room (paper thin walls) at 7 am trying to get coke and arguing yelling. Next day woke up to different guy coming into my room trying to get coke at 730. The next day i just stayed away all night. Came back to shit everywhrre in the living room futin down, them still doing blow.

Im not ocd but cleaning things occasiinally, washing dishes, maybe even washing tour hands once a month at least is always cool.

I did have 1 really awesome roommate the last 2 summers though. Win some lose some I guess.
I have some pretty beat roommates but cant remember anything too wild. Good possibility o blocked any worse events out due to ptsd.