It looks like you are using an ad blocker. That's okay. Who doesn't? But without advertising revenue, we can't keep making this site awesome. Click the link below for instructions on disabling adblock.
Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post.
Register to become a member today!
Shaking off someone who wants to hang out with you...
Coming from an adult this may seem like such a juvenile question....but...how do you typically shake someone? My brother briefly dated a girl who I became friends with during that time-- we also became facebook friends-- they broke up after about 6 weeks of dating (about a year ago), and ever since she messages me all the time to try and get together. I usually find some way to decline but its getting more and more awkward. Like today she messaged me and said we should get together soon, and I said "yeah maybe grab a mocktail when the weather warms up" (I'm pregnant so no cocktails)-- and she always wants to get something concrete so she is like "well what are you doing this weekend and next weekend?" I really hardly have time for my actual friends-- let alone this gal, so what should I do to shake her? If I get nothing out of this thread but hilarity that is fine with me, too.
Oh, and one of the reasons I don't actually want to hang out with her or be friends is it seems like she just basically wants to keep tabs on my brother-- she will pretend to be interested in my life but the questions always go to her asking about him and what his dating status is.
You have a baby, so say you are busy with baby stuff (ex: busy looking into daycare arrangements).
OR
I would be straight up with her and say "I don't feel comfortable being friends with my brothers ex", or just hang out with her once and piss her off/ be boring
the possibilities are endless.
If the chick is only half insane she should screw off
I would say just be upfront about no time and your desire to not hang with her, unless she is the kind of person to knife you in your sleep
She's a total knifer. I've seen her get really obsessively upset when she can see that someone has read a facebook messenger message but hasn't responded--so I always go "DOH!" when it pops up on my laptop or whatever and shows the "read" mark. When my brother broke up with her she de-friended him, but then immediately regretted it and tried to friend him back and sent him hundreds of messages, and then tried to pick up his teenage daughter at school. I tried to pretend I was busy by responding to her request to hangout with "I just have a ton going on" but then she was like "so next weekend, then?"-- I haven't responded yet.
Sno.She's a total knifer. I've seen her get really obsessively upset when she can see that someone has read a facebook messenger message but hasn't responded--so I always go "DOH!" when it pops up on my laptop or whatever and shows the "read" mark. When my brother broke up with her she de-friended him, but then immediately regretted it and tried to friend him back and sent him hundreds of messages, and then tried to pick up his teenage daughter at school. I tried to pretend I was busy by responding to her request to hangout with "I just have a ton going on" but then she was like "so next weekend, then?"-- I haven't responded yet.
If shes always asking about your brother trying to be sneaky it's semi easy. Just tell her you don't mind kicking it but you're not going to give her the 411 on your brother. if that's all she wants shell ditch anyway. Or just be less and less available until she gives up.
Or just tell her you don't have time for her and don't want to hang.
milk_manDid your brother break up with her or did she break up with him?
He broke up with her because she became a stage 10 clinger-- she wanted to start picking his kids up for school for him and then when she would come over on a Friday she wouldn't leave until he went to work on Monday and then would blow up his phone.
she's doubling down. I didn't respond to her invite for next weekend so now I've been sent a facebook invite.
She does this kind of stuff-- she is super paranoid so she will be like "I wonder if she's ignoring my request. I'll send her an invite--if she doesn't respond to that then I will know whether she is ignoring my initial request or merely looked it over..."
theabortionatorIf shes always asking about your brother trying to be sneaky it's semi easy. Just tell her you don't mind kicking it but you're not going to give her the 411 on your brother. if that's all she wants shell ditch anyway. Or just be less and less available until she gives up.
Or just tell her you don't have time for her and don't want to hang.
Yeah- think I'm going to ignore the invite and if she brings it up again i'll just say "sorry I'm really busy-- thanks for the invite though." -- then if she pushes harder maybe say "look, I'm extremely busy-- I barely have time for my closest of friends- I appreciate the invite but you do tend to talk about my brother when we hang out and I'd just rather not." If she still wont drop it I guess just say "look you cray."
icedYou have a baby, so say you are busy with baby stuff (ex: busy looking into daycare arrangements).
OR
I would be straight up with her and say "I don't feel comfortable being friends with my brothers ex", or just hang out with her once and piss her off/ be boring
the possibilities are endless.
If the chick is only half insane she should screw off
This. Its tough to be upfront but if I were this person, I would be glad you were honest and not wanting to waste time...
So here's the deal. I've had stalkers in the past (to the point to where I had to get a restraining order.) I've also had a number of other crazy psycho chicks in my life. So I speak from experience here.
From what you described, this bitch is crazy. She is probably delusional and lives in her own fantasy world. In her mind, you are her bestie and her brother secretly wants to be with her, he just is confused and doesn't know how to say it. So that's why you got to give her a reality check.
You can't engage with her. You can't small talk her. Because when you do, you are just fueling that fantasy. You got to just come right out and tell her exactly how you feel. "Listen. I'm not interested in hanging out with you. You're needy. You're clingy. You got issues. Leave me alone. Then block.
problem solved. You can choose how much saltiness you want in your message.. But just be honest.. and since the girl is probably going to snap after you send that message and say a bunch of stupid stuff that you really don't care about anyways, just block her and go on with your life.
Trust me. that's your best policy. I get it. You naturally are a nice person. You probably also hate confrontation, which is why you are caught up in the mess. But the longer you delay it, the bigger the problem will be.
**This post was edited on Mar 3rd 2018 at 10:51:35pm
Sno.He broke up with her because she became a stage 10 clinger-- she wanted to start picking his kids up for school for him and then when she would come over on a Friday she wouldn't leave until he went to work on Monday and then would blow up his phone.
Try spending a week just being absolutely obnoxious (like she is), and then maybe she'll chill
I have a weird solution, why don’t you be straight up with her.
Tell her your life is crazy as hell; that you have no time for stuff, and that you think she just wants to hang out with you to keep tabs on your bro.
At best you can have an honest dialogue with her about it and it will shed light on her issues, and at worse she will rage out and you will never have to talk to her again.
Op not sure why this is a problem. You're digging yourself in with every response you give. It's Facebook for fuck sakes! Just don't respond. And fun trick, you can make your activity status on messenger invisible to specific people. So it shows you're always offline. You can even set all your Facebook posts to not be able to be read by specific people. Don't respond and just ignore her. Don't even open up the message. She will sizzle down and eventually go away. I've dealt with a few people like that on Facebook; the more you respond, the worse it gets. If you stop responding, you will get a hundred messages, but eventually it will stop.
Either she'll get the memo and stop talking to you, or drive to your house and kill you and your baby. Either way bitch is crazy and needs to be shed sooner than later. You don't want to see the day when a stage 10 clinger metamorphs into a stage 10 psycho stalker.
IsitWinterYet17Op not sure why this is a problem. You're digging yourself in with every response you give. It's Facebook for fuck sakes! Just don't respond. And fun trick, you can make your activity status on messenger invisible to specific people. So it shows you're always offline. You can even set all your Facebook posts to not be able to be read by specific people. Don't respond and just ignore her. Don't even open up the message. She will sizzle down and eventually go away. I've dealt with a few people like that on Facebook; the more you respond, the worse it gets. If you stop responding, you will get a hundred messages, but eventually it will stop.
Either she'll get the memo and stop talking to you, or drive to your house and kill you and your baby. Either way bitch is crazy and needs to be shed sooner than later. You don't want to see the day when a stage 10 clinger metamorphs into a stage 10 psycho stalker.
Just tell her to fuck off.. you don't have to say it like that though you can be nice.. but you get the idea, tell her she is making you feel uncomfortable and that you two should stop talking
knowing her she'll try to defend herself by saying
"What is wrong with us talking? Theres nothing wrong with that"
all you have to say then is
"I just don't want to talk to you OK my mind is made up.. FUCK OFF"
Oh and if she keeps pursuing.. just know that there is a reason why restraining orders exist!!
**This post was edited on Apr 20th 2018 at 12:35:54pm
**This post was edited on Apr 20th 2018 at 12:36:56pm
the better advice......i.e........"pee in her butt"
only two ways it will go after. that should at least narrow your horizon to a more profound
1 im gonna "pee in yo butt again" so ya best stay away.
2 she gon get the idea and keep that butt away.
i hope you get this issue solved no one likes a straggler. lol
