Replying to Skiing and partying

I hate talking about this in person, but I want to get it off my chest so I thought why not spill out my guts on NS. Gonna be a long one, so thanks to anyone who bothers to read it.

Long story short, about 3 years ago, at 21 years old, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. To this day, I still treat it as the worst thing that's ever happened, and likely will, ever happen to me, It ruined my life and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

The good news is that it's now controlled and has been for the last 24 months or so. I can drive, go swimming, ski alone and generally live a normal life as long as I take my meds every day.

The bad news is that my seizures are caused mainly by dehydration and exhaustion. This means I can't drink alcohol and I get pretty paranoid if I go more than (roughly) 18 hours without sleep.

As everybody knows, skiing and apres-skiing go hand in hand and you can't avoid it, wherever or whenever you go skiing. It honestly depresses the fuck outta me that I can't join in the mad partying with everyone else like I used to be able to. I did a ski-instructor course in Canada last year and loved skiing day in day out, shredding hard. But it completely fucking sucked watching everyone getting drunk and generally having a sick time, whilst I sat there with my coke, and then heading back early- cause let's face it- nobody stays out past 11pm sober haha. Also in BC, weed is legal so it's just everywhere, and I feel like such a killjoy when not joining in. I hated it

All I wanna do in life is ski, it's where my heart it, but I don't know if I can do another season feeling that level of depression almost every single night, living in a ski-resort is meant to be fun, right? One of my worst fears is coming across as boring to other people.

(On the upside, I of course save a shit load of $$$ not drinking and never missed a day shredding because of hangovers)

Anyone experience anything like this, or advice?

Thanks for reading, James