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Funny Short Jokes

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mintcrue
Posts: 1593 - Karma: 25
I will start...
How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-4, 1 to hold the bulb and 3 to drink until the room starts spinning

... keep em coming

Strike 3
Feb 7 2005 11:58PM
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sm
Posts: 325 - Karma: 10
why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
because it was dead.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
hey, where's my tractor?

what did the farmer say when he lost his taxi?
why the hell do i have a taxi?

what's big and yellow and eats grass?
a school bus - i lied about the grass.




Mar 8 2005 5:08PM
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sm
Posts: 325 - Karma: 10
what's the difference between a ski instructor and a party pizza?

a party pizza can actually feed a family of four.
Mar 8 2005 5:08PM
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friday01
Posts: 1342 - Karma: 24
why are womens feet shorter?
so they can get closer to the stove

why dont you ever wanna buy a woman a watch?
cus theres a clock on the stove


Mar 8 2005 6:07PM
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Frostfired
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 35
i have so much racist ones
here is one (old)
why r balck peoples palms white?
because there is a little bit of good in every1


pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
Mar 8 2005 7:43PM
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skichica128
Posts: 587 - Karma: 10
the farmer said to the horse, horse y the long faces
allison lol!
Mar 8 2005 8:26PM
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Paige
Posts: 310 - Karma: 10
^What? haha.

If you ask for a lay away at the dollar store, you might be a redneck.
Mar 8 2005 8:51PM
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mintcrue
Posts: 1593 - Karma: 25
^^^^ actually it is 40 year old meat in 5 year old buns
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Strike 3

Check out the Handrails Cult!

JibiJ
Mar 8 2005 8:57PM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
sm, your first 4 jokes were halarious!! i shall try and follow up with some of my favotrite jokes:

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Cause it was stapled to the first one


Whats brown and sticky?

A stick


When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a drive way






Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
----------->Capital.City.Rider.
--->Phunkin.Phatt.Phreerider.

'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
Mar 8 2005 8:59PM
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friday01
Posts: 1342 - Karma: 24
since someone else did it a racist,

why are black people fast?

because all the slow ones are in jail
Mar 8 2005 9:01PM
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Frostfired
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 35
another racist1
why r chineese ppls faces so flat

cause of airbags


pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
Mar 8 2005 9:05PM
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MdanteL
Posts: 1142 - Karma: 16
RACIST JOKES SRY, but there kinda funny

-y r black ppl so good at basketball
-b/c they shoot, steal, and run

-what do u call a black preist
-holy sh*t

-If in the middle of the night you see your tv floating in the air, what do u say?
-hey naggar put down my tv

-what do u call a black sky diver?
-air pollution


AND NO IM NOT RACIST AT ALL.. just jokes

Mar 8 2005 9:09PM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
How do you stick 5 cocks in your mouth??

I don't know, ask ALANTASKI.



-------------------
'If only real chicks when down this easy' Comic Book Guy
Mar 8 2005 9:11PM
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Frostfired
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 35
hahahahhaa


pretend you will give the guy head to give back your skis, he probably will accept, then once he whipps his cock out, steal it-SteezePatro

if you want to be a real gangster wear your ski boots to the dance. when he starts shit when youre face to face do a backflip and in your rotation kick him in the face with your boot. something in his face will break for sure. fights over.-seanPISTOL

or just walk away with his chick making him look like a complete jackass in front of a bunch of s
Mar 8 2005 9:13PM
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busta720
Posts: 494 - Karma: 11
sorry about these

how many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesnt matter women cant change anything

or

1 to do it, and 9 to form a support group


What do you do when your girls watch breaks?
nothing, theres a clock on the stove




176cm of freedom on my feet
Mar 8 2005 9:17PM
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taylor44$$
Posts: 195 - Karma: 10
how many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10, 1 to screw it and 9 to say i can do that
Mar 8 2005 9:35PM
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action_shot
Posts: 1646 - Karma: 97
im not racist but...
Whats long and black?
The welfare line.

Whats the one thing a black man won't take?
A job.

What do you call indians in a ditch?
A sleepover.

Whats an indian artifact?
A beer bottle.

Whats a rare indian artifact?
A full beer bottle.

How do you find the richest native on the reserve?
Roll a nickel down the hill and see who gets it.

Why did the black man buy a cop car?
So he could sit in the front for once.

How do you drown a black person?
Pop his lips.
Once again Im not racist but i found these jokes hilarious and most of them came from my black friend.

______________________________________
~never be bought. never be sold~
------------------------------------
please vote for my jones soda picture Bullseye
Check out my portfolio if you like photography Nick's Portfolio
Mar 8 2005 9:44PM
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sKi*eAst
Posts: 397 - Karma: 10
so this moth went to the dentist
and the dentist asked the moth why he was there
the moth thought for a second... 'cause the light was on'


Its Morphin Time!
GO GO POWER RANGERS
Mar 8 2005 9:45PM
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joeengel
Posts: 1089 - Karma: 10
whats the difference between black people and tires?

tires dont sing when you put chains on them
Mar 8 2005 10:02PM
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9o2mdkNamzz1_1
Posts: 2113 - Karma: 10
Wuts then difference between a chicken and a cow
Ones a cow and the pthers a chicken LOL!!!
I like to play Guitar!
Mar 8 2005 11:44PM
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iRonCrost
Posts: 156 - Karma: 10
whats black and blue and gay all over?

a blue hat, w/ black mesh
Mar 8 2005 11:47PM
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a-line
Posts: 970 - Karma: 10
why wasn't jesus born in mexico. because there weren't 3 wise men and a virgin.
Mar 8 2005 11:54PM
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Bhayter10
Posts: 942 - Karma: 8
What did Spider Man study in college?

Web Design..Ha!

'The true measure of a man is how he treats another who can do absolutely nothing for him.'
-Samuel Johnson


'I refuse to tip-toe through life just to arrive safely at the door of death'- Unknown
Mar 9 2005 2:44AM
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JIB_NISSE
Posts: 833 - Karma: 28
Racist, but whatever...
how long does it take a black woman to take a shhit;9 months
whats the difference between a bucket of shit and a black; the bucket.
*****************************************



'Check youself before you wreck youself' -Ali G
.
We heard you hate us, we hurt you fakers./It takes more than your jealous ass to break us. - Looptroop
.
S-CREW///
Mar 9 2005 3:21PM
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bromleyskiier
Posts: 75 - Karma: 12
im not racist/sexist, but...

what do black people and snow tires have in common? they both work better in chains

why do black people smell bad? so blind people can dislike them too.

why can't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman.

why did hellen keller's dog kill itself? you would kill yourself too if your name was blaaaaaapeuivndkeutlcvetgsfk


------------------

The preceding statement contained scenes of graphic violence, and should not have been viewed by children.

Parental discretion was advised.

Mar 9 2005 3:45PM
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mintcrue
Posts: 1593 - Karma: 25
whew these are getting pretty brutal, here's one: What do you call black people burried in the ground?
-Afro-turf

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Strike 3

Check out the Handrails Cult!

JibiJ
Mar 29 2005 7:52PM
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Bigmilne22
Posts: 154 - Karma: 10
what is the cuban national anthem????????
Row Row Row your boat

Mar 29 2005 8:22PM
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ArabianKnight
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 10
I used to do drugs, i still do.
-Mitch Hedberg



public television represent
Mar 29 2005 8:33PM
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MESKI
Posts: 942 - Karma: 220
Q: what do u call a bunch of mexicans holding hands around a house.....

A: a spicket fence


Q: How many black people does it take to single a roof?

A: One, just cut him up into little pieces

Q: How do you keep a black guy outta your backyard

A: Hang one in your front yard




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I Like to Ski
Mar 29 2005 8:34PM
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PEski000
Posts: 147 - Karma: 13
what did the deaf, blind, paralyzed baby get for christmas??



cancer

Mar 29 2005 9:24PM
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Bloom.
Posts: 3540 - Karma: 13,300
whats a name for a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss
what is similiar between michael jackson and mcdonalds? they both stick there weiners in six year old buns

**************************************
"i

m gonna blow up ns with a car bomb" -JimB
"andy you need a hair cut" - numerous girls in my class

Stoned Creak Crew

Spandex-Coming soon (stoned creek crews video
Mar 29 2005 9:25PM
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Bloom.
Posts: 3540 - Karma: 13,300
what is the difference between a snowboarder and vacum? the way you strap in the dirtbag

**************************************
"i

m gonna blow up ns with a car bomb" -JimB
"andy you need a hair cut" - numerous girls in my class

Stoned Creak Crew

Spandex-Coming soon (stoned creek crews video
Mar 29 2005 9:27PM
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french_fry
Posts: 4698 - Karma: 53
im not a hippy or a peace and love guy but seriously jokes about black people aren't funny whether your racist or not, i really dont like them.

How do you know a blonde has been using your computer?:

-theres white-out on the screen
-the joystick is wet




Gravity sucks

What's the difference between a drunk and stoner at a stop sign???

The drunk speeds through, the stoner waits for the sign to turn green.
Mar 29 2005 9:43PM
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neonpink
Posts: 336 - Karma: 11
what is brown and sticky?







a stick

Mar 29 2005 9:54PM
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mad_540_trix
Posts: 2452 - Karma: 14
k, it's not really short but whatever

how do u get an elephant into a fridge?
open the door, put the elephant in, close the door.

how do u get a giraffe into the same fridge?
open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door.

the lion, king of animals, calls a meeting. which animal isn't there?
the giraffe, he's in the fridge.

you're in africa and u want to get across a river famous for being infested with crocs and hippos, how do u get across without a boat (or a fridge)?
swim, all the crocs and hippos are at the meeting.


I AM CANADIAN
Mar 29 2005 11:01PM
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mintcrue
Posts: 1593 - Karma: 25
i want 30 seconds of my life back

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Strike 3

Check out the Handrails Cult!

JibiJ
Apr 3 2005 9:24PM
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JFerg
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 62
whats the difference between sm (a member here) and neil armstrong?

neil armstrong was the first man on the moon, sm tells really fuckin bad jokes.

_________________________ just ski.
Apr 3 2005 10:38PM
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mad_540_trix
Posts: 2452 - Karma: 14
ok, this one isn't short either, but meh.

a black guy, a mexican, and a white guy go walking on the beach. they find a lamp, rub it, and a genie comes out. the genie gives them one wish each.

the black guy says, "i want all the black people in america to be back in africa" and *poof* all of the black guys are back in africa.

the mexican says, "i want all the mexican people in america to be back in mexico" and *poof* all of the mexicans guys are back in mexico.

the white guy says "so all the blacks and mexicans are gone?"
the genie says "yep"
so the white guy says "well in that case i'll have a coke"


yeah i edited it a little so it wouldn't be as racist, but u get the point.


I AM CANADIAN
Apr 3 2005 10:43PM
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JazzyJ
Posts: 3233 - Karma: 18
whats the difference between a vacuum and a harley-davidson


the position of the dirtbag

my friend told me he punches one out into his hand and throws it (load) at his chicks face and yells "yahtzee!" no lie.-couchskier *NS Skateboarders*
Apr 3 2005 11:05PM
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JFerg
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 62
whats kurt cobains favourite seat in a car?



shotgun!

_________________________ just ski.
Apr 3 2005 11:20PM
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Turkeyjerky101
Posts: 16 - Karma: 10
Alright i got a racist one

How do you know its a black guys birthday?

-----------your bikes gone-----------

Apr 5 2005 9:20AM
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skisquaw@420
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 13
How many telemarkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

-none, they're all dirty hippies with no electricity



What does a woman at the beach say to Michael Jachson?

-Hey! Get out of my sun.

"We're super, incredable, heavy duty dudes!" - Cheech Marin

"My eyes, they can't take in his radness." - Sonny Anderson

"Wild Flour Wild Water" - Danny Day

"The goodness just explodes in my mouth!" - Bill Fleming
Jul 21 2005 6:36PM
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SteveStepp
Posts: 9529 - Karma: 20,647
how many black people does it take to pave your driveway?

One, if you spread him real thin




Yea. I said it.
____________________________________
-STEVE STEPP

"Hey. You hear what I called him? He can't do JACK about it." - Master Shake
Jul 21 2005 6:44PM
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crooks
Posts: 14693 - Karma: 786
whats the difference between bigfoot and a hard working nigger?

bigfoots been spotted

$ $ $ $ $ B O S T O N | B A C K C O U N T R Y $ $ $ $ $
Jul 21 2005 6:46PM
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SteveStepp
Posts: 9529 - Karma: 20,647
whats the difference between a niggers daddy and the holy grail?

you might find the grail




Yea. I said it.
____________________________________
-STEVE STEPP

"Hey. You hear what I called him? He can't do JACK about it." - Master Shake
Jul 21 2005 6:51PM
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Fr2Planker
Posts: 1696 - Karma: 13
whats long and hard on a nigger?

1st grade

i'm sure 99% of this site knows that jon gets laid more than 99% of this site. --strode420
Jul 21 2005 6:55PM
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hoodcrunk
Posts: 276 - Karma: 26
how come Ken cant get Barbie pregnant?
cuz he comes in a differnt box.



Jul 21 2005 7:13PM
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E-ZRider
Posts: 1791 - Karma: 13
whats the difference between a large pizza and a black man???


The pizza can feed a family of 4

I Love Head

Jul 21 2005 8:14PM
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sunvalleyskibum
Posts: 1223 - Karma: 11
it doesnt mater if u claim to be "not racist" at the beginning of your posts. if u sit around on your computer telling mean jokes about black people, then u are a racist. you may not want to identify yourself with that term, but its true.




SHOPLIFTING--My Anti-Drug
Jul 21 2005 9:38PM
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bermbuster49
Posts: 7445 - Karma: 90
wtf, school? are you in summer school or do you live in austraila

-kulpy-

gangsta raps lyrics are all the same, Someone gets shot, someones frontin, someones a wangsta, someones benchpressin, someones makin fried chicken, and the beans dont burn on the grill. You can see that shit in kentucky. Fuck the bronx, deep south bitches-scientist
Jul 21 2005 9:40PM
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hippie_cat
Posts: 1569 - Karma: 13
look at the date, dumbass

-----------------------------------------

member of the sds suicide watch focus group
Jul 21 2005 10:37PM
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