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I Got Fat Last Night

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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
So I'm pretty sure I wasn't fast yesterday and now I'm kind of fat.

Is this what I have to look forward to in a trump america?

Who should I blame first?

Anybody else experience this?

I have so many questions. Hopefully typing burns a shitload of calories.
Dec 8 2016 2:28PM
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LiquorLanch
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 1,046
God fucking damn it me too man. Woke up swole af in the belly this morning and there's nothing I can do but jerk it with Pence's tears. Going on reddit and whining about privelegdges really helped tough. .25kilos lighter now.
Dec 8 2016 2:33PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13978 - Karma: 49,319
theabortionatorSo I'm pretty sure I wasn't fast yesterday and now I'm kind of fat.


you might be PMSing. don't worry its normal.
Dec 8 2016 4:54PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,983
Blame eheath
Dec 8 2016 5:01PM
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MustBeMattyB
Posts: 495 - Karma: 2,147
Russia may or may not have had something to do with it
Dec 8 2016 5:29PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
Minggyou might be PMSing. don't worry its normal.


I swear I woke up fat. I need to get back to work asap. Ugh. IT's also mexican night at the local ski area. I'm going to cram some tacos and beer. I don't think that's going to help.

fuck

milk_manBlame eheath


Always

MustBeMattyBRussia may or may not have had something to do with it


Damn russians!
Dec 8 2016 5:57PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,983
MustBeMattyBRussia may or may not have had something to do with it


Lol dude... I GET THIS REFERENCE AND ITS HILARIOUS!!!! :D :D I hope someone else remembers...
Dec 8 2016 8:43PM
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milk_man
Posts: 5252 - Karma: 5,983
MustBeMattyBRussia may or may not have had something to do with it


milk_manLol dude... I GET THIS REFERENCE AND ITS HILARIOUS!!!! :D :D I hope someone else remembers...


Wait.. maybe I'm making connections where you didn't.. hmmm.. feeling sheepish..
Dec 8 2016 8:45PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
https://youtu.be/VmugfdhSzJs

I got you bro
Dec 8 2016 10:18PM
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128368798788
Posts: 0 - Karma: 1,167
2 doobs later and now I'm a lard ass. It's okay the pow days will balance this out
Dec 9 2016 8:54AM
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,343
This is how I imagine the majority of the US wakes up each morning.
Dec 9 2016 9:46AM
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iced
Posts: 3070 - Karma: 17,965
dont worry its 2016 curves are in
Dec 9 2016 10:05AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
RudyGarmischhttps://youtu.be/VmugfdhSzJs

I got you bro



thanks bru

MAHONEbone2 doobs later and now I'm a lard ass. It's okay the pow days will balance this out

I hope so. I need to get back to work in the park asap

Randy_QuenchThis is how I imagine the majority of the US wakes up each morning.

Probably but I don't wanna be a statistic

iceddont worry its 2016 curves are in


I don't want a 6 pack, but I don't wanna be fat.
Dec 9 2016 12:30PM
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chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,163
A few shots of tequila will have you feeling handsome again in no time
Dec 9 2016 12:35PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
chacha33A few shots of tequila will have you feeling handsome again in no time


I like this guy
Dec 9 2016 1:02PM
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Titus69
Posts: 9329 - Karma: 17,816
Over the summer I definetly got fat, I'm still skinny but for my body weight history, it's fat. Usually have a fall sport to help prep for ski season but I'm not in hs anymore. Now I'm just back to being mediocre, should probably work out more.
Dec 9 2016 1:29PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
Titus69Over the summer I definetly got fat, I'm still skinny but for my body weight history, it's fat. Usually have a fall sport to help prep for ski season but I'm not in hs anymore. Now I'm just back to being mediocre, should probably work out more.


I think you're supposed to get fat in college. Yeah, I'm not super fat but the fattest I've ever been.

I think 2 of my problems is lack of physical activity, and not being poor. I'm absurdly hungry all the time and would stop eating when I ran out of money or didn't want to spend any more. And legit wished I could get one of those stomach shrinkage surgery deals so I wouldn't be so hungry.

I used to run but I can't run anymore because of my brain. Also sustained cardio kind of fucks with me as well. And apparently that's how you get not fat.

Maybe I'll try and get rich while I get fat and just get lypo. Exercise is so 2010.
Dec 9 2016 4:21PM
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MIHoodlum
Posts: 245 - Karma: 256
Maybe your not fat, your just bloated. Heard it on a ad on Pandora
Dec 9 2016 6:18PM
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DirtYStylE
Posts: 3652 - Karma: 8,888
Dec 9 2016 10:53PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
sue mcdonalds
Dec 10 2016 2:43AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
MIHoodlumMaybe your not fat, your just bloated. Heard it on a ad on Pandora


What does that mean though? If I stab myself in the side will I drain out 20 pounds?

DirtYStylE


This. It's flawless logic really.

butterslut.sue mcdonalds


I don't really eat there ever but it's still probably their fault. i need to get a lawyer. Should be worth at least 10 mil imo. I'll let you know when I win and buy a ski area.
Dec 10 2016 3:00AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
Just realized that since fall 2011 I havent really drank that much. I didnt drink at all from then till spring/summer 13. Then drank a bunch. Went to beer or two mode for the summer then stopped completely again for my next head injury. Had maybe 2 beers in the next i months or so. Just started drinking wildly again this summer. And now im fat.


Sparknotes: I love beer, and just started drinking a bunch again this summer and that might be why Im fat.


Ugh. I love a good beer though. Its 2017, where that heady ultralight stout or something. I need to find a way to exercise more without killing my head and keeping me from being obese as shit.

Idk. Im not that fat but it has begun i fear.
Dec 11 2016 7:58PM
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
theabortionatorSparknotes: I love beer, and just started drinking a bunch again this summer and that might be why Im fat.


Just start drinking Michelob Ultra. Only 95 calories per beer!
Dec 12 2016 10:40AM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
theabortionatorI think you're supposed to get fat in college


i lost weight my freshman year of college
Dec 12 2016 11:02PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
CheddarJackJust start drinking Michelob Ultra. Only 95 calories per beer!


I just bought more craft beer tonight.

Peter.i lost weight my freshman year of college



Rub it in.

Hoping when I get back to work next week I'll get back in shape quickly.


Besides the internet adds 10 pounds
Dec 13 2016 8:56PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
2 weeks later and its even worse. Wondering if Im fucked up health wise at the moment. Idk if it's normal to gain as much weight as I have in 2 months.

That said I'm off health insurance again which is always a plus.

Also tonight/tomorrow morning was my next window to drive west. Car is fucking up again. So I'm sitting here drinking beer and living on wawa. I'm sure that's not helping anything.

I just want to get to work, ride my snowboard, and climb some fucking mountains.
Dec 28 2016 12:20AM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
theabortionator2 weeks later and its even worse. Wondering if Im fucked up health wise at the moment. Idk if it's normal to gain as much weight as I have in 2 months.

That said I'm off health insurance again which is always a plus.

Also tonight/tomorrow morning was my next window to drive west. Car is fucking up again. So I'm sitting here drinking beer and living on wawa. I'm sure that's not helping anything.

I just want to get to work, ride my snowboard, and climb some fucking mountains.


Climbing some mountains will burn some calories. I'm a huge proponent of biking, though.
Dec 29 2016 11:33PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
*TURBONERD*Climbing some mountains will burn some calories. I'm a huge proponent of biking, though.





I need to get a bike. I miss being short enough to rage around on a bmx. But migh jump over to the mtn bike or road bike scene
Dec 30 2016 1:28AM
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Slush
Posts: 1914 - Karma: 12,942
theabortionatorI need to get a bike. I miss being short enough to rage around on a bmx. But migh jump over to the mtn bike or road bike scene


Send it yo, mountain biking is the shit! If you like bmx, get a hard tail and just play around on the trails nearby. Plenty of trails have jumps, drops, hips, berms, all that awesome stuff! It's like bmx, but your in the woods and you get a really good workout!
Dec 31 2016 2:01PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
The referenced post has been removed.


Thank you for your wisdom
Mar 28 2020 2:53PM
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_IRRELEVANT_
Posts: 944 - Karma: 4,425
Hopefully you took some mirror pics before and after so you can get on a commercial and make bank
Mar 28 2020 9:51PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,493
_IRRELEVANT_Hopefully you took some mirror pics before and after so you can get on a commercial and make bank


I was actually thinking of this.. i was stuck in philly burbs with no car and eventually no job. Month and a half of wawa and 2 6 packs of craft beer a day does damage. I was eating so many hoagies, quesadillas, and mozz sticks and crushing the berrs. I was like 40 pounds over my current weight. I shoulda tried to hit up some of them companies.

As long as it wasn't meth id have been down to get some money while i lost some weight
Mar 28 2020 10:07PM
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elcheapo
Posts: 3449 - Karma: 13,975
Overeaters anonymous
Mar 29 2020 10:16AM
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