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If you are offended by religous jokes don't read.

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Logchucker
Posts: 1508 - Karma: 16
If Jesus is the son of God, yet Mary didn't know that God impregnated her, wouldn't God me a rapist?



**Disclaimer** This is a joke and if you get all butt hurt you can complain at www.thuper.com

The smart man does not know everything, rather the smart man admits when he knows nothing.
Jan 26 2005 4:26PM
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ski8990
Posts: 5961 - Karma: 19
meh. Ive seen much better. Why do preists like 28 year olds? cause theirs 20 of them. that one is better if you say it out lout



Jesus saves!

Gretzky gets the rebound. he feeds the puck to LeClair. he shoots! he scores! the crowd goes wild
Jan 26 2005 4:33PM
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SkiBumDreams
Posts: 560 - Karma: 10
its not priests its michael jackson!!
Jan 26 2005 4:37PM
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ski8990
Posts: 5961 - Karma: 19
yeah I know but it works for preists too



Jesus saves!

Gretzky gets the rebound. he feeds the puck to LeClair. he shoots! he scores! the crowd goes wild
Jan 26 2005 4:38PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
whats the difference beetween jesus and a picture of jesus?





a picture only takes 1 nail to hang up


why cant jesus play hockey?





cause hed always get nailed to the boards

~Phunkin Phatt Phreeriders~

Jan 26 2005 4:38PM
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KingShit
Posts: 4483 - Karma: 7
shibby you are going to hell for that one man...

-People say marijuana ruins your life, I just say I take the scenic route-

-Theory-3 Breath and Stop-
Jan 26 2005 4:39PM
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norcowolverinerider
Posts: 324 - Karma: 10
i got a joke but its to rasist to put up
Save A Mouse, Eat A Pussy
Jan 26 2005 4:40PM
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dpoiii
Posts: 3095 - Karma: 13
why do priests like burger king so much? they wrap their meet in 12 year old buns


D$
Jan 26 2005 4:51PM
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Skipig25
Posts: 10729 - Karma: 256
bahaha



Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?
Jan 26 2005 5:14PM
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Skipig25
Posts: 10729 - Karma: 256
why did the priest go to K-mart?

He heard little boys pants were half off.



Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?
Jan 26 2005 5:15PM
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LostCarKeys
Posts: 2553 - Karma: 20
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

I zit won't bust all over your face untill you are 13...
Jan 26 2005 5:31PM
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dead
Posts: 1635 - Karma: 11
not a jesus joke but pretty damn funny
whats black and blue and dosent like to have sex?

the 2 year old in my trunk.
Whats worse than 20 babys in a dumpster?

1 baby in 20 dumpsters.



-Paul
Jan 26 2005 5:32PM
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Capt.Flannel
Posts: 10928 - Karma: 36
why can't stevie wonder read?




A. cause he's black


ALso.....


How do you punish Hellen Keller?



A. Tell her to read a basketball




open up, we're coming inside. What's it feel like to know you're gonna die?
Jan 26 2005 5:44PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
whats the worst thing about eating bald pussy?





putting the diaper back on when your done

~Phunkin Phatt Phreeriders~

Jan 26 2005 5:47PM
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BrandonCool
Posts: 518 - Karma: 10
There was this guy, who every time he seen a black guy while driving he would run them over.....this one day he picked up a hichhiking preist...and as they were driving the guy saw a black man...
He though'oh no i cant hit him while the preist is here'...so he swerves close by him and he hears..THUMP!..
'oh no i didnt want to do that' the man thought...
The preist says,'Its okay I got him with the door!'


Its more funny when you tell it in person....
S.W.E.D 420
Jan 26 2005 6:14PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
whats the difference jews and a pizza?


pizza's dont scream when you put them in the oven



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17





My time is winding down.............just wait for it
Jan 26 2005 6:19PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
^hahaha whats the difference beetween a black man and a pizza?


a pizza can feed a family of 4

how do you blind fold a chinese man?


with dental floss

~Phunkin Phatt Phreeriders~

Jan 26 2005 6:20PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table??


the picnic table can support a family



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17





My time is winding down.............just wait for it
Jan 26 2005 6:22PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
BAHAHAHAHA! Great jokes, whoooo that made me laugh.





----2ond in Command of DANSA-----



To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.



If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.



GW Award December 3, 2004
Jan 26 2005 6:22PM
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SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36
why weren't there any black people in the FLintstones?


because they were still monkeys
Sheldon
Jan 26 2005 6:25PM
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whatsupdan
Posts: 908 - Karma: 11
how do you get a nun impregnanted by a priest?

dress the nun up like an alter boy


****POWER TO THE PEACEFUL****
Jan 26 2005 7:37PM
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Skipig25
Posts: 10729 - Karma: 256
Whats the difference between a lawyer and an eel?

One's a bottom-dwelling scum sucker and the other one's a fish.



Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?
Jan 26 2005 7:41PM
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Skipig25
Posts: 10729 - Karma: 256
What's the difference between a porcupine and a porsche.

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.



Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?
Jan 26 2005 7:41PM
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Skipig25
Posts: 10729 - Karma: 256
What's the difference between a vacuum and a snowboard?

How you attach the dirtbag.






(I think I stole that from someone's sig, so credits to whoever it was)



Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski.
What else is there?
Jan 26 2005 7:45PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
^ Very funny jokes, but you could have put them all in one post.





----2ond in Command of DANSA-----



To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.



If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.



GW Award December 3, 2004
Jan 26 2005 8:32PM
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Spam_Man_1500
Posts: 1358 - Karma: 12
Whose the best Jewish cook?








Hitler.
Jan 26 2005 9:02PM
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WeeLilMen
Posts: 318 - Karma: 10
how do u start a marathon full of mexicans?



roll a quarter down a hill
Jan 26 2005 9:54PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
whats the best thing about an ethiopian blowjob??



you know she'll swallow



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17





My time is winding down.............just wait for it
Jan 26 2005 10:09PM
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jflo453
Posts: 1383 - Karma: 26
How do u make a dart out of an ethiopian




Shove a feather up their ass



How long does it take for a black person to take a crap?


Nine Months



Ski New Jersey
Jan 26 2005 10:45PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
haha, these are horrible, i love it



I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our country is safer.

-melvs
Jan 26 2005 11:25PM
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DrGonzo729
Posts: 1312 - Karma: 10
what do you call an ethiopian with a yeast infection?
Jan 26 2005 11:30PM
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DrGonzo729
Posts: 1312 - Karma: 10
whoops, a 1/4 pounder with cheese
Jan 26 2005 11:30PM
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Spam_Man_1500
Posts: 1358 - Karma: 12
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?




To pick strawberries as they drive.
Jan 26 2005 11:34PM
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whoisikeEh
Posts: 1552 - Karma: 8
ahahahah sick drgayzo
Jan 26 2005 11:52PM
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petek
Posts: 8762 - Karma: 12
What happenned to the jew with an erection that ran into a wall?


He broke his nose

How do you know your sisters on her period?

Your dads dick tastes like blood.



The star wars of the 80's!!!
Jan 27 2005 12:09AM
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davidh
Posts: 4219 - Karma: 8
^haha, the first one, not the second.
_________________________________________________




no,my parents didnt go to college, my dad has a grade 9 education and my mom is a stupid slut -lateralis

'I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.'


Jan 27 2005 1:36AM
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wazzucrewskier
Posts: 2269 - Karma: 151
why was hellen keller such a bad driver?



because she was a woman.

by the way, i dont believe this but it is funny and was told to me by a friend.

'If she floats than she is not

A witch like we had thought'

'Like most babies smell like butter

his smell smelled like no other'

'She'll come back as fire, to burn all the liars,

And leave a blanket of ash on the ground.' - Kurt Cobain



Free Ipod
Jan 27 2005 1:51AM
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reezyfbaby
Posts: 2308 - Karma: 13
why did helen kellers dog kill itself?
because it got tired of being called adhhhdhhguu!


-CCR-
'every day should be a good day to die. dont loose your dreams'
--Dave Matthews
Jan 27 2005 2:10AM
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reezyfbaby
Posts: 2308 - Karma: 13
how do you punish helen keler ? leave the plunger in the toilet.


-CCR-
'every day should be a good day to die. dont loose your dreams'
--Dave Matthews
Jan 27 2005 2:10AM
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t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
ok I got some

How many Jews can you fit in the average car?
2 in the front 3 in the back and a couple million in the ashtray.


Whats a thousand men with their arms up?
The french army.

How many French people does it take to defend Paris?
we dont know we never tried.

What does a black man give his son on Chrismas?
Your Bike

I am Half french, half black and 1/4 Jewish so I obviously dont mean these jokes.
Jan 27 2005 2:03PM
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JoeTheRipper
Posts: 1567 - Karma: 14
Those jokes were funny except we got a bit racist, but

=why did the woman cross the road


who cares who let her out and gave her shoes anyway
'ski boards are like communism, they are good in theory but in reality they just dont work well.'-winterkid33
Feb 1 2005 1:49PM
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EastcoastAR5
Posts: 2721 - Karma: 15
Whats Long and Hard On a Mexican?

3rd Grade


Whats between my car and a baby?

A rope


Whats Red and Shiny?


A baby chewing on razor blades


Whats the differnce between my skull and babies?

I havent cracked my skull


There is a Mexican and a black man in a car....whos driving?

Tha Police

What does Micheal Jackson and Chicken Noodle soup have in comon???

They both Cum/come in small cans


word

I Heart Skiing
Feb 1 2005 5:56PM
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joeengel
Posts: 1089 - Karma: 10
whats the difference between black people and tires?


tires dont sing when you put chains on them




drink hard and die young

$$ ICED OUT RACING $$

toss your salad outta here
Feb 1 2005 6:08PM
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Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
whats long hard and full of seamen??

a submarine



'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17





My time is winding down.............just wait for it
Feb 1 2005 6:09PM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
bahahahahahahah ^ yes
***************************************
-Matt

wayne gretzky, the only man i'd have sex with. i'd be intimate with, wayne gretzky

ska is dead.... and you're next !
Feb 1 2005 8:07PM
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scientist
Posts: 6920 - Karma: 348
why couldnt the little black boy play in the sand box

the cat would bury him


an indian and his daughter were pulled over to the side of the road. the indian was taking a piss and the little girl said, , 'daddy what is that thing you peeing out of' the dad says 'thats my penis hunny' the little girl says when do i get a penis dad' and the indians says 'when your mom goes to bingo tonite'


what do you see when you see a mexican riding a bike

go over and beat the shit out of him cause its your bike





how do you kill a mexican

hide his food coupons under a bar of soap.




thats all the good ones i know

I'm White?



Fuck him, fuck his teeth, and fuck his coats
-mommy



Feb 1 2005 8:18PM
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