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How to get over a breakup

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addie.
Posts: 350 - Karma: 1,432
hey friends!

so my boyfriend just broke up with me (and he's on ns so he will probably see this but its whatever) and i dont feel so good. in fact, i feel really shitty.


what should i do to make myself feel better, all ideas are welcome except drugs and alcohol, already tried that, it does not help :))))

thank.
Mar 7 2016 3:36PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10843 - Karma: 57,725
First, I'm sorry. Heartbreak hurts so much.
Allow yourself to feel this, but do not go overboard. Make sure you continue to do your everyday things, stuff you always do. Treat yourself to something you normally wouldn't (or would- do your Norma things girl!) spend money *OR TIME* on!!!!

Ex: I hate pedicures, but after my last break up I got one, cut my hair, (which I looove doing, it makes me feel good) and started volunteering with at risk youth.

(I edited this because my spelling was SOOO awful and I wanted it to be clear & easy to understand!)

**This post was edited on Mar 7th 2016 at 9:37:53pm
Mar 7 2016 3:51PM
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robbinJAHood
Posts: 1202 - Karma: 3,075
safarisamFirst, I'm sorry. Heartbreak hurts so much.
Allow yourself to feel this, but do not go overboard. Make sure you continue to do your everyday things, stuff you always do. Treat yourself to something you normally would spend money *OR TIME* on!!!!

Ex: I hate pedicures, but after my last break up I got one, cut my hai, and started voluentering with at risk youth.


This!! Best advice

Sorry to hear about that. Heartbreak seriously sucks. Spending time outside or with friends will help to clear your mind. Focus on yourself and treat yourself!!
Mar 7 2016 4:00PM
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el_mn_op
Posts: 577 - Karma: 1,175
I would probably buy a cat, or go on a roadtrip. But I think safarisam had some good advice, too.
Mar 7 2016 6:44PM
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skiara.
Posts: 670 - Karma: 1,710
Dude, Im so sorry. I went through this too right before ski season (my ex and I were the ultimate ski partners) and I thought ski season, and everything else, was going to blow but I get up early every morning and ski before work, which keeps me sane and I'm going on a solo road trip at the end of the month.

Just stay busy. Find new hobbies. You'll learn a lot about yourself. And it WILL be okay.
Mar 7 2016 8:10PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10843 - Karma: 57,725
Also, self love, mindfulness, & meditation is SOOOO helpful. Seems super hippy but I promise they can help you bring out your best self when you don't feel anything/like yourself/broken/or just lost.
Mar 7 2016 9:35PM
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B.Aussie
Posts: 5852 - Karma: 4,531
My last break up coincided with a stomach bug. I couldn't eat for like two weeks and lost like 10kgs. It was pretty great. Would recommend. (not even joking - seeing my ex two week post breakup and being 10x hotter was so good) haha
Mar 8 2016 12:24AM
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LynxNation
Posts: 780 - Karma: 5,853
Date yourself! Do everything for you that you've wished an ex would have. Take yourself out to a nice dinner, buy yourself a cute piece of jewelry, do something you always wanted to do but felt that a relationship held you back from. Prove you don't need someone else to make yourself confident, beautiful, and amazing. Never let a man take that away from you.


I'm sorry you're going through this, you will make it through!
Mar 8 2016 1:10AM
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skurian
Posts: 58 - Karma: 170
Work out, climb some mountains, do really well at work.

Nothing helps me get over a break up like kicking some ass. The better you feel about yourself the less you will care about him. Oh! and Lil Kim. There is nothing better for your confidence than the queen bitch. Seriously..the song queen bitch by lil kim is not only the best break up song but also my dream song to make an edit to haha. good luck! it may seem shitty now but in a few months youll be like who??
Mar 10 2016 12:21PM
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dkirse
Posts: 822 - Karma: 659
hey, I just got broken up with too like two nights ago. Real sweet. He's on ns too but whatever.

What's been getting me through is hanging out with my friends, and focusing on stuff that I want from myself. I'm not gonna lie, it sucks. I've been hardcore bumming but beer helps and laughing with friends helps too.

All you have to do, in my opinion, is realize that it's his loss. Like, I still like my ex (aw I hate saying that) and I was super stoked on him but if he wasn't stoked on me, then I wouldn't want to stay with someone who doesn't appreciate me. Like, feeling unwanted is the absolute pits. I've never felt so down.

Hey, from one girl to another...it's gonna be okay! And there's always another cutie skier boy out there :)
Mar 11 2016 12:59PM
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Most-D
Posts: 729 - Karma: 1,088
BREAK UPS SUCK BUT THINGS DO COME AROUND AND MAKE SENSE EVENTUALLY. Life is fippin' awesome and you'll see that soon. Best advice: do things you're good at! A lot. Then learn new things and meet new people. Be stoked at this opportunity to change your life for the better and don't be bitter. Easier said than done but remember, happiness is a choice you can make every morning - so take it!
Mar 12 2016 4:07AM
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TheSmokinL
Posts: 496 - Karma: 1,615
so crucial that I saw this thread just now bc my ex and I have been on and off talking, trying to work things out, etc... just this morning im lookin through snap stories and SURPRISE there he is, 3 full video snaps long, making out with another girl at a bar that one of his buddies posted.

you could say that was the "f$%#" it moment if ive ever had one in my life.

when the breakup happened I started changed routines, like I walk to class on the opposite side of the street, I started doing 10 mins of squats a night (bc what better revenge is there than growing a butt), and skiing was my release as well. truthfully, he also hated my mountain friends so I spent more time with them.

ill leave off on this, if he did something bad during the breakup and/or relationship, KARMA will come around, I never believed in it until this relationship and mannnnn did he get his karma.
don't worry, theres always a cuter boy, that's better at skiing, and that has love to give out there. we gotchu girl!
Mar 12 2016 10:38AM
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dkirse
Posts: 822 - Karma: 659
hey sooo i made the mistake of texting my ex. I basically just said that it feels weird not talking to him cause there's so much stuff that happens in a day that i just want to tell him. It sounds stupid, i know, but it's kinda killing me not to talk to him....he was kinda like my best friend....i mean, we dated for 3 (4?) months and then it just stops? like forever?

I've never dated anyone before him. When do I stop feeling like such a loser?
Mar 18 2016 1:39AM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10843 - Karma: 57,725
dkirsehey sooo i made the mistake of texting my ex. I basically just said that it feels weird not talking to him cause there's so much stuff that happens in a day that i just want to tell him. It sounds stupid, i know, but it's kinda killing me not to talk to him....he was kinda like my best friend....i mean, we dated for 3 (4?) months and then it just stops? like forever?

I've never dated anyone before him. When do I stop feeling like such a loser?


Just talked to my ex of over an year and a ½ ago- and it was good. It's different. It's something that might help you, but if it doesn't it doesn't. Just do what you normally do and what happens happens. Reach out to friends you might have ignored during the relationship, or try and make new ones. You'll survive this, even though it's tough. Also, I used twitter to express my random thoughts that I wanted to tell people but couldn't because I had no one to tell. It actually helped- I learned later in therapy.
Mar 18 2016 2:53AM
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dkirse
Posts: 822 - Karma: 659
safarisamJust talked to my ex of over an year and a ½ ago- and it was good. It's different. It's something that might help you, but if it doesn't it doesn't. Just do what you normally do and what happens happens. Reach out to friends you might have ignored during the relationship, or try and make new ones. You'll survive this, even though it's tough. Also, I used twitter to express my random thoughts that I wanted to tell people but couldn't because I had no one to tell. It actually helped- I learned later in therapy.


Yeah, I guess I'm going to focus on school and my injury and being the best me I can be. I just thought he and I were still friends. Silly me. Too bad I see him on all social media including ns haha. But thank you, I haven't gone through a breakup before and I feel super lame.
Mar 18 2016 10:33AM
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mountainheart
Posts: 60 - Karma: 41
ah I just found out my bf was cheating on me with the town ho and left me for her so I am in these feels so hard.

I just took a random solo trip to the desert and had no cell service so i couldn't keep checking my phone to see if he'd contacted me (ugh feels so pathetic lol) and now I'm actually going to pick up and move towns. small towns, we were super serious, have all the same friends, it's too hard.

Take care of yourself. you can let yourself be sad, lay in bed, watch funny tv shows, then start doing all the things you did before him. You were you before him!!! You can be again!!! it's hard. so fucking hard. but it'll get better. you probably won't notice it little by little at first but one day you'll look back and realize how far you've come.

the best days of life are yet to come!
Apr 23 2016 5:05PM
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addie.
Posts: 350 - Karma: 1,432
A month and a half later and going strong. I've lost 10 pounds, gotten most of the way through parks and rec, am in the process of getting a sweet internship at backcountry.com, and other cool shit. I still miss him, but I'm trying really hard to have fun and I'm doing a damn good job at it.

Thank you guys for all your help dealing with these feels. Luv u all :))
Apr 25 2016 12:28PM
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dkirse
Posts: 822 - Karma: 659
addie.A month and a half later and going strong. I've lost 10 pounds, gotten most of the way through parks and rec, am in the process of getting a sweet internship at backcountry.com, and other cool shit. I still miss him, but I'm trying really hard to have fun and I'm doing a damn good job at it.

Thank you guys for all your help dealing with these feels. Luv u all :))


So inspiring! I'm here with you-- a month and a half later and i miss him, naturally, but i'm doing so well on my own. I'm focusing on rehabbing my ACL injury, finishing out the semester strong, and hanging with the best group of friends. I've applied to internships as well (mostly to get the hell outta this town over the summer), because i still can't hang around here without thinking of him.

Keep your head up, and do you! Sounds like you're doing a dang good job at it.
Apr 25 2016 2:15PM
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addie.
Posts: 350 - Karma: 1,432
okay, update. I've met some creepy ass dudes on tinder and they all suck. now I've developed a crush on a guy with a girlfriend. cool. i really miss my ex and it sucks donkey cock AHHH. on the bright side, I've lost some weight and I'm starting to get the six pack I've always wanted, but shit still feels weird. i think i wanna get a dog. i don't know.


okay thank you for reading that friends bye now
May 4 2016 11:18PM
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dkirse
Posts: 822 - Karma: 659
addie.okay, update. I've met some creepy ass dudes on tinder and they all suck. now I've developed a crush on a guy with a girlfriend. cool. i really miss my ex and it sucks donkey cock AHHH. on the bright side, I've lost some weight and I'm starting to get the six pack I've always wanted, but shit still feels weird. i think i wanna get a dog. i don't know.


okay thank you for reading that friends bye now


hey at least you're doing better than me....

I got weak and slept with my ex spontaneously. Then he asked for a threesome with me and my best friend. Fucking douchebag to the MAX.

Get a six pack, get a pup, don't focus on your love life and everything will be A-OK. You got this. I think everybody always forgets how much strength they have!
May 4 2016 11:40PM
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TheSmokinL
Posts: 496 - Karma: 1,615
addie.okay, update. I've met some creepy ass dudes on tinder and they all suck. now I've developed a crush on a guy with a girlfriend. cool. i really miss my ex and it sucks donkey cock AHHH. on the bright side, I've lost some weight and I'm starting to get the six pack I've always wanted, but shit still feels weird. i think i wanna get a dog. i don't know.


okay thank you for reading that friends bye now


Omg if I could say anything is DEF get a dog. I mean be ready bc its a handful but having my dog made me soooooo much happier when I went through bullshit with my ex. If you're a new dog owner I suggest getting a rescue thats a lil older. Unless you have time to train them and such. I got my dog 6 months ago and he's 7yrs old or so, he didn't know any commands and didn't have a name but treat work was easy and they love you so much bc they know what it's like not to be loved. Ugh I could go on but I'll stop there.
May 5 2016 12:10PM
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