Member of the Month

partyandBS
December, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

My Girlfriend is going to kill herself, HELP

profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
My Girlfriend is actively talking about suicide, and she keeps telling me to leave her alone because she doesn't want to hurt me, that she has nothing to live for. She says the stress is too much, and that she's dug her life into a hole and she needs to die. I don't know what to do, i'm shaking right now, crying, I feel like a terrible boyfriend. Please help, what can I say?

She lives 300 miles away so I can't go visit her or anything. She won't Sykpe me. I feel so helpless

Please NS this is not a troll, I need some help
Mar 5 2016 9:56AM
425 217
profile picture
McNoche
Posts: 1731 - Karma: 3,661
damn, chicks go all out these days when ending middle school relationships.
Mar 5 2016 10:03AM
7 68
profile picture
Rennis_Deynolds
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 19,059
tell her parents about it so they can intervene. That might be hard but it also might keep her alive
Mar 5 2016 10:06AM
51 0
profile picture
isaacwrong
Posts: 2342 - Karma: 18,346
Ever think of contacting her parents/her friends at school? You do realize that this is NS? Probably not the best place of this type of advice
Mar 5 2016 10:08AM
22 1
profile picture
7springsprod
Posts: 2661 - Karma: 3,181
SlushShe lives 300 miles away


Get your ass over there.
Mar 5 2016 10:15AM
53 1
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13997 - Karma: 49,714
Dennis_Reynoldstell her parents about it so they can intervene. That might be hard but it also might keep her alive


Yeah you should do this. She's pushing you away to the point that you can't help, and that's not your fault. But you also shouldn't just let it slide. The girl needs help, and you can't do a whole lot when you're 300 miles away and she's not letting you help her. Telling her parents or close friends is about all you can do. If you can though, definitely drive out to her asap.
Mar 5 2016 10:26AM
11 0
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
isaacwrongEver think of contacting her parents/her friends at school? You do realize that this is NS? Probably not the best place of this type of advice

I've done just that, the parents didn't believe me and I don't have any of her friend's numbers. NS was the last place I could turn to. I felt like maybe someone might have some really helpful advice


MinggYeah you should do this. She's pushing you away to the point that you can't help, and that's not your fault. But you also shouldn't just let it slide. The girl needs help, and you can't do a whole lot when you're 300 miles away and she's not letting you help her. Telling her parents or close friends is about all you can do. If you can though, definitely drive out to her asap.

I'm probably going to do just that... I don't have a car capable unfortunately, but i'm currently asking friends for this as a massive favor
Mar 5 2016 10:48AM
2 0
profile picture
CabbyArrant
Posts: 780 - Karma: 4,128
SlushMy Girlfriend is actively talking about suicide, and she keeps telling me to leave her alone because she doesn't want to hurt me, that she has nothing to live for. She says the stress is too much, and that she's dug her life into a hole and she needs to die. I don't know what to do, i'm shaking right now, crying, I feel like a terrible boyfriend. Please help, what can I say?

She lives 300 miles away so I can't go visit her or anything. She won't Sykpe me. I feel so helpless

Please NS this is not a troll, I need some help


I know how panicked you feel right now. The same thing happened to me a while back. Op get your ass to her now... She's pushing you away bc she wants to see that you care . Go to her and stay with her until she gets help of some sort. I'm not saying that she isn't suicidal but girls use suicide as a plea for help a lot more than guys. You are also probably not a terrible BF bc you care. Tell your parents what's up don't wait for their response and get your ass over there. Also make sure she knows that your coming and also that she can't stop you from coming. If you feel like she's going to do something bad before you get there call the local PD where she lives and tell them.

Once you get there though and she becomes stable she NEEDS to get professional help. She will probably fight you on this but don't give in bc that's the best thing for her. If you have any other questions PM me. I hope this helps, it's a really shitty road to walk but it gets better down the line when you know you made a difference however small
Mar 5 2016 10:49AM
13 1
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
CabbyArrantI know how panicked you feel right now. The same thing happened to me a while back. Op get your ass to her now... She's pushing you away bc she wants to see that you care . Go to her and stay with her until she gets help of some sort. I'm not saying that she isn't suicidal but girls use suicide as a plea for help a lot more than guys. You are also probably not a terrible BF bc you care. Tell your parents what's up don't wait for their response and get your ass over there. Also make sure she knows that your coming and also that she can't stop you from coming. If you feel like she's going to do something bad before you get there call the local PD where she lives and tell them.

Once you get there though and she becomes stable she NEEDS to get professional help. She will probably fight you on this but don't give in bc that's the best thing for her. If you have any other questions PM me. I hope this helps, it's a really shitty road to walk but it gets better down the line when you know you made a difference however small


I know this isn't a plea for attention. She's been down this road before. She wants to push me away because she "doesn't want to hurt me and can't stand the thought of hurting me" I'm trying to get down there but I don't have a car that will make the distance (junker) I'm asking friends for favors currently. She says she needs to be left alone for a bit so she can figure this all out without me, and that she doesn't have to feel like she's hurting me. I don't know what to do. It feels like if i left her alone i'd be leaving her when she needs me, but then again I think she really does just need to be alone to think about what is going on in her life and get through it.
Mar 5 2016 10:54AM
0 0
profile picture
CabbyArrant
Posts: 780 - Karma: 4,128
SlushI know this isn't a plea for attention. She's been down this road before. She wants to push me away because she "doesn't want to hurt me and can't stand the thought of hurting me" I'm trying to get down there but I don't have a car that will make the distance (junker) I'm asking friends for favors currently. She says she needs to be left alone for a bit so she can figure this all out without me, and that she doesn't have to feel like she's hurting me. I don't know what to do. It feels like if i left her alone i'd be leaving her when she needs me, but then again I think she really does just need to be alone to think about what is going on in her life and get through it.


Again I still think she just wants you to be there for her no matter what she says. Like I said I've been down the same road. Talk to your parents and ask if they can help you. Most parents I feel would gladly help. She says she doesn't want you there but it will speak volumes if you can find a way. Take a greyhound if you have to but tell her you are coming and follow through with it.
Mar 5 2016 10:59AM
6 0
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
CabbyArrantAgain I still think she just wants you to be there for her no matter what she says. Like I said I've been down the same road. Talk to your parents and ask if they can help you. Most parents I feel would gladly help. She says she doesn't want you there but it will speak volumes if you can find a way. Take a greyhound if you have to but tell her you are coming and follow through with it.


Ok, thanks again for the advice.
Mar 5 2016 11:02AM
0 0
profile picture
CabbyArrant
Posts: 780 - Karma: 4,128
SlushOk, thanks again for the advice.


Good luck Op
Mar 5 2016 11:07AM
0 0
profile picture
skierman
Posts: 8416 - Karma: 7,964
Tell her if she kills herself, you'll break up with her.



Boom, another problem solved by my endless wisdom. You're welcome.
Mar 5 2016 11:18AM
12 43
profile picture
Lskier_
Posts: 183 - Karma: 1,968
skiermanTell her if she kills herself, you'll break up with her.



Boom, another problem solved by my endless wisdom. You're welcome.


bold
Mar 5 2016 11:20AM
0 6
profile picture
McNoche
Posts: 1731 - Karma: 3,661
skiermanTell her if she kills herself, you'll break up with her.



Boom, another problem solved by my endless wisdom. You're welcome.


Interesting advice cotton, let's see how this plays out
Mar 5 2016 12:05PM
7 5
profile picture
Rennis_Deynolds
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 19,059
long distance relationships never work out
Mar 5 2016 12:06PM
7 2
profile picture
saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
How old are you guys?

I think you need to speak with her parents again and stress that she's not messing around and even if she doesn't plan to follow through, these kinds of threats don't come out of nowhere.

If her parents refuse to do anything, it might not be a bad idea to call child services (again, depending on how old you are). I get calls about these situations pretty regularly and we can provide supports or refer to resources you guys might not know exist. Social workers aren't just there to take kids away. We can also speak with her and try to figure out what's going on. Maybe she's being a dramatic teenager or maybe there is something much more serious going on.

At the end of the day, the most important thing you need to remember is whatever happens, it's not your fault and you CANNOT blame yourself. If you can get to her to support her, awesome. If you can't and she does something, it's NOT because you weren't there for her.

Good luck man and if you need any help from a social worker who works with teens and families in crisis every day, shoot me a pm.
Mar 5 2016 1:16PM
9 0
profile picture
PNayr
Posts: 355 - Karma: 727
praying for you and your girl OP
Mar 5 2016 1:26PM
4 0
profile picture
PeppermillReno
Posts: 4872 - Karma: -827
Im not going to go the skierman route and tell you to ditch this chick or anything. BUt if she is saying she doesn't want you around or involved in her problems that is likely the truth.

Honestly try to take a few days off from contact don't be texting her to check in and all that bullshit. She feels like she owes you shit and your 300 miles away and that is probably one of her big problems...she can't get some dick to cheer her up b/c it would be being disloyal to you...see what I mean? Feeling she owes shit to a guy 300 miles away is definitley part of her problems so I'd back off.

She doesn't want non stop calls and she doesn't want you driving 300 miles to 'rescue' her nothing to do but leave her alone.
Mar 5 2016 1:47PM
1 7
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13997 - Karma: 49,714
PeppermillRenoBUt if she is saying she doesn't want you around or involved in her problems that is likely the truth.


Nah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.
Mar 5 2016 1:52PM
12 3
profile picture
PeppermillReno
Posts: 4872 - Karma: -827
MinggNah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.


Being too nice is a big turn off. OP has likely fallen into that category.
Mar 5 2016 2:05PM
0 5
profile picture
skierman
Posts: 8416 - Karma: 7,964
MinggGirls are crazy.


Hence why my idea is the best.
Mar 5 2016 2:21PM
1 8
profile picture
CabbyArrant
Posts: 780 - Karma: 4,128
MinggNah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.


Thank you!!! Those were my thoughts exactly
Mar 5 2016 2:36PM
2 0
profile picture
.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
You shouldnt be on ns you should call someone who is close by to watch her while you drive your ass 300 miles
Mar 5 2016 3:38PM
3 0
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
PeppermillRenoIm not going to go the skierman route and tell you to ditch this chick or anything. BUt if she is saying she doesn't want you around or involved in her problems that is likely the truth.

Honestly try to take a few days off from contact don't be texting her to check in and all that bullshit. She feels like she owes you shit and your 300 miles away and that is probably one of her big problems...she can't get some dick to cheer her up b/c it would be being disloyal to you...see what I mean? Feeling she owes shit to a guy 300 miles away is definitley part of her problems so I'd back off.

She doesn't want non stop calls and she doesn't want you driving 300 miles to 'rescue' her nothing to do but leave her alone.


This is what sort of settled to. I found that a big cause of stress for her was her thinking she was hurting me, and I said I'd leave her alone for a while until she could sort this thing out. I did my best to make her feel important, and to try and not guilt her. The last thing she needs is to have more pain in her life

MinggNah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.


A lot of guys would have noped the fuck out of the situation I'm in with her right now, shes got some bad depression. But I love her, and I'm probably going to be the only guy who will love her like I do. I feel it's my responsibility to stay with her. And I did, she kept pushing me away because she doesnt want to hurt me, but I kept close because I felt she needed me. I'm backing off now because I think I'm just causing pain for her. I'm not leaving her by any means but I'm giving her some space, because that's what she genuinely wants. She's always really honest with me, doesn't play silly games, so when she says she wants to have some space she means it. I wouldn't back off unless she really honestly wanted me to
Mar 5 2016 3:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
if you think she's going to harm herself, call the police station in her town and let them know.
Mar 5 2016 4:10PM
5 0
profile picture
Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,326
MinggNah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.


What the fuck. This is why relationships are so unappealing to me. People are confusing as hell.
Mar 5 2016 4:20PM
19 0
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13997 - Karma: 49,714
Point.What the fuck. This is why relationships are so unappealing to me. People are confusing as hell.


It's actually a pretty common way of like emotional defense in both men and women. And it's not like people behave like that all the time. It's mostly relevant in extreme cases like this.
Mar 5 2016 4:32PM
0 0
profile picture
Ranch
Posts: 742 - Karma: 1,030
Point.What the fuck. This is why relationships are so unappealing to me. People are confusing as hell.


Mar 5 2016 4:36PM
18 2
profile picture
Deforestation
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 3,194
Dekerz


Beat me to it
Mar 5 2016 4:55PM
1 0
profile picture
McNoche
Posts: 1731 - Karma: 3,661
Point.What the fuck. This is why relationships are so unappealing to me. People are confusing as hell.


Says the guy that jerks off 6 times a day and has seen one female nipple in person due to when the big fat lady had a nip slip at the city pool.
Mar 5 2016 4:59PM
12 3
profile picture
McNoche
Posts: 1731 - Karma: 3,661
PeppermillRenoshe can't get some dick to cheer her up


Will someone please arrest this man? Wholly fuck
Mar 5 2016 5:03PM
10 3
profile picture
Bombogenesis
Posts: 1985 - Karma: 4,022
skiermanTell her if she kills herself, you'll break up with her.



Boom, another problem solved by my endless wisdom. You're welcome.


How do you give such great relationship advice having never had a girlfriend? It's amazing.
Mar 5 2016 8:07PM
1 0
profile picture
HAMNATION
Posts: 814 - Karma: 1,722
.......Steroids



Just kidding that is rough best of luck that is a hard situation. Skiing always cheers me up try that... for her... or you


skiing
Mar 5 2016 8:21PM
1 1
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Mental health petition?
Mar 5 2016 9:16PM
0 0
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
soulskierMental health petition?


?
Mar 5 2016 10:41PM
0 0
profile picture
ModMommy
Posts: 10842 - Karma: 57,700
Hi Slush,

just popping in to see how she's doing. i've been down that road before with a best friend, someone i regarded as a brother. hope there is a good ending to this.
Mar 5 2016 11:01PM
4 0
profile picture
Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,326
Dekerz


McNocheSays the guy that jerks off 6 times a day and has seen one female nipple in person due to when the big fat lady had a nip slip at the city pool.


That's fair, but I'm not going to be the one losing half of my shit in a divorice when I'm still young. Can't ski bum with a wife or girlfriend.
Mar 5 2016 11:05PM
2 0
profile picture
Mingg
Posts: 13997 - Karma: 49,714
Point.Can't ski bum with a wife or girlfriend.


I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER
Mar 5 2016 11:08PM
8 4
profile picture
ModMommy
Posts: 10842 - Karma: 57,700
Point.That's fair, but I'm not going to be the one losing half of my shit in a divorice when I'm still young. Can't ski bum with a wife or girlfriend.


clearly you're not with the right woman.
Mar 5 2016 11:08PM
5 0
profile picture
Dddsz
Posts: 3042 - Karma: 7,326
safarisamclearly you're not with the right woman.


Yeah "right hand" just isn't cutting it.
Mar 5 2016 11:12PM
8 0
profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO THIS WEBSITE
Mar 5 2016 11:21PM
4 1
profile picture
Slush
Posts: 1916 - Karma: 12,960
safarisamHi Slush,

just popping in to see how she's doing. i've been down that road before with a best friend, someone i regarded as a brother. hope there is a good ending to this.


We talked it out, she's feeling better, and she's going to hang on. She needs some distance to figure herself out and to relieve some stress. She's doing a bit better though, I'm really worried about her though... We aren't going to talk for a little bit and I'm terrified ill never get a reply from her, or that she'll text me goodbye for one last time...
Mar 6 2016 12:17AM
0 0
profile picture
RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,343
MinggNah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.


truth tho
Mar 6 2016 12:26AM
0 1
profile picture
270on420out
Posts: 7519 - Karma: 51,244
Talk to her. Don't let her hang up. Drive out there. Right now. This takes precedence over whatever your plans are. Make her promise you that she will not do anything until you get to see her. If she doesn't agree and hangs up, then call her parents. If they aren't around, call the police.
Mar 6 2016 12:36AM
1 0
profile picture
SKI.ING
Posts: 2695 - Karma: 2,536
how old are you two?
Mar 6 2016 1:27AM
0 0
profile picture
Troy.
Posts: 5070 - Karma: 12,549
Yo, I've been in your exact shoes before. Shoot me a DM, and I'm happy to help wherever I can.
Mar 6 2016 1:30AM
7 2
profile picture
SFBv420.0
Posts: 2539 - Karma: 3,124
safarisamclearly you're not with the right woman.


i'd go with chedderheaded virgin livin in p's basement
ive been married to my spanser for 18 seasons now
and know a litte sumthin about ski bumming
and how to accentuate the ski part.
good luck op
the poops politics and pokiesmons route woudn't been my course of action,
but maybe your posting on the side of the road with the thumb out
Mar 6 2016 8:37AM
1 0
profile picture
ascent_studios
Posts: 2157 - Karma: 4,580
Good luck man and I hope it goes well!
Mar 6 2016 9:34AM
0 0
profile picture
DanielPlainview
Posts: 391 - Karma: 1,707
MinggNah dude. Girls are crazy. When we push you away usually it means we need you. And when/if you let us push you away then it means you didn't care enough to begin with.


wow girls are rated F for FUCKED in the head
Mar 6 2016 9:40AM
1 0
profile picture
skierman
Posts: 8416 - Karma: 7,964
SlushWe talked it out, she's feeling better, and she's going to hang on. She needs some distance to figure herself out and to relieve some stress. She's doing a bit better though, I'm really worried about her though... We aren't going to talk for a little bit and I'm terrified ill never get a reply from her, or that she'll text me goodbye for one last time...


It sounds like she's found another man. Move on and find Jesus or something.
Mar 6 2016 10:48AM
3 3
All times are Eastern (-5)