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How the fuck do I take care of a fish

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NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
Recently got drunk and purchased a fish, any other NS fish owners could you give me some fish care basics? Much appreciated.
Feb 22 2016 5:43PM
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CHORIZO
Posts: 2003 - Karma: 10,039
fish get lonely when you leave them at home, so if ur on the go just swallow a bunch of water and house him/her in your belly and ralph it up when you get home
Feb 22 2016 5:45PM
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snowpocalypse
Posts: 1036 - Karma: 3,525
I feed mine twice a day. Remember not to let him swim after eating, and make sure to take them on at least a 15 min walk daily. He's slow and always throws a temper tantrum during the walk, He just throws himself on the ground and rolls around. I don't give into his fussing. He stops in a min or two. He mist be really tired from today's walk because he just seems to be sleeping. Love my fish.
Feb 22 2016 5:53PM
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Mingg
Posts: 13977 - Karma: 49,303
Make sure you take it outside to get some fresh air everyday.
Feb 22 2016 6:33PM
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JGWI
Posts: 2842 - Karma: 7,812
Feb 22 2016 6:38PM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
from what i remember you want to let the microbial ecosystem get set up in the tank before you introduce any fish to the tank.
Feb 22 2016 7:01PM
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TheBigApple
Posts: 1169 - Karma: 488
Tingafrom what i remember you want to let the microbial ecosystem get set up in the tank before you introduce any fish to the tank.


Yeah, I would take a poop in the bowl.
Feb 22 2016 7:47PM
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littleman34
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 4,146
my friend has a really pretty fish named jesus. he keeps it in a container the size of a fist and feeds it every day. his first one died while he was walking it home from the pet store. also he recommends buying a life time supply of fish food. its like $2 and the size of a pepper shaker.
Feb 22 2016 7:57PM
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skierman
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 7,758
Fish love PBR
Feb 22 2016 10:10PM
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The_Mitch
Posts: 68 - Karma: 151
skiermanFish love PBR


That's for freshwater fish. If it's a saltwater fish they prefer landshark. Also Mexican fish don't like Coronas; Dos Equis is their general preference.
Feb 22 2016 10:26PM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,185
Well you may want to save it from drowning so obviously take it out of the water so it can get some air
Feb 22 2016 10:38PM
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EasyCheesySteezy
Posts: 132 - Karma: 947
Fish like to play. See if you can stay under water longer that the fish
Feb 22 2016 10:50PM
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_Jeffrey_
Posts: 1651 - Karma: 572
Fish love the bathtub keep it in there
Feb 22 2016 11:36PM
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Huck_Fin
Posts: 355 - Karma: 968
make sure to give him plenty of water to drink.
Feb 23 2016 12:17AM
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.Jacob
Posts: 1838 - Karma: 1,160
I drove this fucker to fucking Petsmart in the freezing fucking cold instead of fucking my girl so that he could pick the wrong fucking coloured fish and give it a shitty ass name, all while squatting on the floor of the shop drunkenly falling over everywhere trynna pick out a tank and attempting to slay the assistant at the same time. The fish is probably already dead, it's name is Alan, which I think is just a word puzzle thing that starts with some latin shit, for anal, so it's called Anal now, and it has the cheapest tank that any alcoholic fish abuser could afford. Honestly might have to start a gofundme thing so we can give this fish a betta existance with some underwater palm trees n shit. You don't know how sad this fish is going to be. OP/Daveyboi/Notghood is gonna run outof food and start feeding it popper resin because he has no other choice. You should all have never encouraged him :'( you don't know what you've caused
Feb 23 2016 12:40AM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
Back in high school some kid bought a fish in one of those plastic bags they come in and drank the whole thing.
Going to try and find the video and post it here
Feb 23 2016 12:50AM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
_Jeffrey_Fish love the bathtub keep it in there


that way you can chill with it too
Feb 23 2016 12:52AM
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skierman
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 7,758
spliff.Lifethat way you can chill with it too



Nothing feels better than when the fin tickles your sack. The best part is, in the eyes of the law its not considered bestiality and when you cum, cleanup is easy and worse case scenario you can say its fish poop.
Feb 23 2016 12:57AM
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,185
skiermanNothing feels better than when the fin tickles your sack. The best part is, in the eyes of the law its not considered bestiality and when you cum, cleanup is easy and worse case scenario you can say its fish poop.


part of me thinks you're just spitting a pretty fucked up joke. Then another part of me thinks after seeing your cunt mushed of a head that you actually try to fuck a fish.
Feb 23 2016 5:37AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
Get a shark so it can have a friend
Feb 23 2016 6:32AM
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Morriski_
Posts: 179 - Karma: 895
Fish tend to get cold quickly, best thing to do is boil the water before putting the fish in
Feb 23 2016 7:27AM
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The.Fish
Posts: 2269 - Karma: 4,988
Feed me
Feb 23 2016 8:14AM
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chacha33
Posts: 959 - Karma: 4,163
Dont leave it with your grandma for the week while you ski in CO she'll kill it
Feb 23 2016 9:34AM
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*SNO*
Posts: 2575 - Karma: 925
erikKBack in high school some kid bought a fish in one of those plastic bags they come in and drank the whole thing.
Going to try and find the video and post it here


Haha this happened in my town a couple of years ago, the kid made it onto a bunch of news outlets and pretty sure he got in trouble with the police for it

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2605928/Teenager-sparks-outrage-caught-camera-swallowing-goldfish-won-funfair.html

https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/815358/Teenager-Sparks-Outrage-After-Being-Caught-On-Camera-Swallowing-Goldfish-He-Won-At-Funfair
Feb 23 2016 9:46AM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
.JacobI drove this fucker to fucking Petsmart in the freezing fucking cold instead of fucking my girl so that he could pick the wrong fucking coloured fish and give it a shitty ass name, all while squatting on the floor of the shop drunkenly falling over everywhere trynna pick out a tank and attempting to slay the assistant at the same time. The fish is probably already dead, it's name is Alan, which I think is just a word puzzle thing that starts with some latin shit, for anal, so it's called Anal now, and it has the cheapest tank that any alcoholic fish abuser could afford. Honestly might have to start a gofundme thing so we can give this fish a betta existance with some underwater palm trees n shit. You don't know how sad this fish is going to be. OP/Daveyboi/Notghood is gonna run outof food and start feeding it popper resin because he has no other choice. You should all have never encouraged him :'( you don't know what you've caused


u needa chill
Feb 23 2016 11:55AM
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Anguz_li
Posts: 285 - Karma: 516
Don't fill up the fish bowl with regular water. Fishes swim better and are healthier in piss water so be sure to drink a lot of water and piss into the bowl until it's full.
Feb 23 2016 1:18PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
get an oxygenator for the tank and blow some fatty bong rips in the intake hole

btw what is the fish's name?
Feb 23 2016 2:01PM
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The.Fish
Posts: 2269 - Karma: 4,988
brotoget an oxygenator for the tank and blow some fatty bong rips in the intake hole

btw what is the fish's name?


My name is Connor
Feb 23 2016 2:15PM
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Anguz_li
Posts: 285 - Karma: 516
The.FishMy name is Connor
you changed your name to "the fish" just to reply with "my name is Connor".. nice.
Feb 23 2016 3:20PM
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SammyDubz
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 7,222
Anguz_liyou changed your name to "the fish" just to reply with "my name is Connor".. nice.


no he didn't you imbecile
Feb 23 2016 3:39PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
Anguz_liyou changed your name to "the fish" just to reply with "my name is Connor".. nice.


You should change your name to the.idiot after that reply
Feb 23 2016 3:44PM
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Anguz_li
Posts: 285 - Karma: 516
SammyDubzno he didn't you imbecile


brotoYou should change your name to the.idiot after that reply
FUCK I didn't read the dates. You have every right to call me an idiot
Feb 23 2016 3:47PM
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The.Fish
Posts: 2269 - Karma: 4,988
Anguz_liyou changed your name to "the fish" just to reply with "my name is Connor".. nice.


No it's actually been the fish for a few months
Feb 23 2016 4:32PM
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Anguz_li
Posts: 285 - Karma: 516
The.FishNo it's actually been the fish for a few months
yeahhh I knowwww shoulda double checked the date before talking
Feb 23 2016 4:34PM
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Panta.Pow
Posts: 111 - Karma: 309
remember to pet it twice a day. and let it listen to NWA. After a while he'll have learned most of the songs and will offer hours of enjoyment when the internet is down,
Feb 23 2016 4:44PM
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TVRNTVPOOP
Posts: 619 - Karma: 3,583
SammyDubzno he didn't you imbecile


So that's how you spell imbecile
Feb 23 2016 7:23PM
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dingus
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 7,877
I'm looking at getting into to salt water fish business this summer, hmu if you have a 50 gallon fish tank for sale.
Feb 23 2016 8:25PM
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crotchvent
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 2,184
For the liquid in the tank you want it to be 5 parts water, 3 parts piss, 1 part semen, and 1 part Kors vodka. Then when it comes to food fish need T bone steaks twice a day to grow big and strong. They also like cool ranch doritos for snacks and be careful because any other type of doritos will kill it. After you have followed this routine every day for exactly 420 days you will want to eat the fish.
Feb 23 2016 8:34PM
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assatrailz
Posts: 324 - Karma: 745
is this what this website has come to?
Feb 24 2016 11:55PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
assatrailzis this what this website has come to?


this is a better thread than 95% of the shit in nsg right now
Feb 25 2016 11:54AM
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skierman
Posts: 8334 - Karma: 7,758
assatrailzis this what this website has come to?


You mean from a year ago when you joined the site?
Feb 25 2016 1:00PM
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iFlip
Posts: 4543 - Karma: 19,132
Make sure you get a good leash for your fish. They love to go on walks when they are on a fish leash, especially with other fish.

Feb 25 2016 1:32PM
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NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
Thanks to the community's help and resourcefulness my fish Alan is doing well,

Without you NS fish lovers I could no have kept him alive this long
I owe you a debt of gratitude

:^)
Feb 26 2016 5:15AM
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assatrailz
Posts: 324 - Karma: 745
skiermanYou mean from a year ago when you joined the site?


2nd account brutha
Feb 26 2016 12:26PM
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MCRENtalgang
Posts: 27 - Karma: 289
KEEP IT IN THE WATER
Feb 26 2016 2:06PM
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supersquid
Posts: 1430 - Karma: 2,545
This thread is hilarious
Feb 26 2016 3:22PM
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DIX~
Posts: 4695 - Karma: 6,502
NotGhoodThanks to the community's help and resourcefulness my fish Alan is doing well,

Without you NS fish lovers I could no have kept him alive this long
I owe you a debt of gratitude

:^)


Glad your new fish Alan is doing well, but what happened to Anal?
Feb 26 2016 5:10PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
What kind of fish?
Feb 26 2016 6:05PM
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zard_gawd
Posts: 254 - Karma: 329
bong water
Feb 26 2016 9:04PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
Can we get some pics of alan
Feb 27 2016 1:07AM
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YARMIE
Posts: 56 - Karma: 79
.Jacobso that he could pick the wrong fucking coloured fish

#AllLivesMatter
Feb 27 2016 1:12AM
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