Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Owned by Spatula

profile picture
PowderCanuck
Posts: 2626 - Karma: 10
So my buddy has this girlfriend, and lately she's been hanging out with her ex alot. So, of course, my buddy gets suspicious. One night he asks her if she wants to go for a movie or something, and she says no shes already made plans with her ex. So immediately he gets suspicious. Him and another friend drive over to her place to see whats going on and when he gets there the guys car is there but all the lights are out. So he looks in the window and can see them making out.
Immediately he runs to the doors and starts smashing the door and screaming 'Open the fuckin door!' When no one opens the door, he winds up and kicks the door down, SWAT style (this is true, I even looked at the door the next day) and runs in.
When he gets inside, he sees the guy and starts running for him grabbing the closest handy blunt object he can find, which just happens to be a spatula. So he jumps on the guy (He isn't a lightwieght either... Imagine 230 pounds of spatula wielding rage flying towards you) and smashes his face a few times with the spatula.
So the guy is ok, but he had some pretty good spatula shaped cuts and bruises on his face that he'll be wearing for at least a week or two.
Don't know why I told this story, thought it was kinda funny.



______________________



Screw this I'm going skiing
Jan 16 2005 11:41PM
0 0
profile picture
skibrdingbitch
Posts: 3990 - Karma: 20
haha that is funny

Member # 1787

'this kids a total tool.... the only reason he gets to 'ski, skate and blaze cron with josh and tj' are bc they make him suck their cocks for companionship on the slopes..'
- ATLANTASKI
Jan 16 2005 11:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
he shoulda grabbed a spoon. that wouldve been really funny. but that was pretty random
Jan 16 2005 11:43PM
0 0
profile picture
mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH KICKED THE DOOR IN AND OWENED HIM WITH A SPATCHULA !!!!!!!
***************************************

-Matt



my one friend was pushed into a pole and he riped his sack open on impact now we call him stitchie



ska is dead.... and you're next !
Jan 16 2005 11:45PM
0 0
profile picture
DRISKEY
Posts: 2969 - Karma: 14
i would of smacshed the fuckin kids head thourgh a fuckin window or soemthing.
Jan 16 2005 11:55PM
0 0
profile picture
lanks
Posts: 12544 - Karma: 73
the rubber scraper-type spatula, or the peeling and lifting-type spatula?

oh, and badass story by the way. i feel bad for your buddy though.

-Joel



~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~

Capital City Rider

Dragons Lair



I don't condone this.
Jan 17 2005 12:01AM
0 0
profile picture
DRISKEY
Posts: 2969 - Karma: 14
the lvoe makngn spatula

Jan 17 2005 12:03AM
0 0
profile picture
Capurnicus
Posts: 9947 - Karma: 1,886
haha nice, that fucker had it coming

- Patrick·patproductions.com
Looks like rain to me.
Jan 17 2005 12:23AM
0 0
profile picture
freerider_klo
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 14
hahaha.
that was funny







-Chloe



skiing=radical
Jan 17 2005 12:54AM
0 0
profile picture
Cork5Guy
Posts: 97 - Karma: 10
that's awesome. i'd hate to have spatula face but that guy had it comin to him
Jan 17 2005 12:57AM
0 0
profile picture
freerider_klo
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 14
wait. ao are they still going out? i should hope not.







-Chloe



skiing=radical
Jan 17 2005 12:58AM
0 0
profile picture
IHOP
Posts: 2155 - Karma: 19
At first i thought this was going to be a post about how the Volan Spatulas worked you. But the story was way funny anyways.
Jan 17 2005 1:44AM
0 0
profile picture
_alli_
Posts: 1792 - Karma: 34
haha, the mental picture from that story is awesome, imagine the scene from inside of the house.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
Jan 17 2005 1:51AM
0 0
profile picture
wuestinator
Posts: 2394 - Karma: 15
fuck yeah bro thats the way it works. i prolly would have killed them both, but thats my style.



sanctioned outerwear - http://www.sanctionedouterwear.com

Jan 17 2005 11:02AM
0 0
profile picture
t-man152
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 14
what happened to the girl. I mean its not like if he was raping her or anything. shes the one going out with somebody and she should be responsible for being faithfyl.

but thats hella funny
Jan 17 2005 11:08AM
0 0
profile picture
(Jonesy)
Posts: 2594 - Karma: 20
better have dumped the bitch...

I like pie.
Jan 17 2005 12:09PM
0 0
profile picture
reezyfbaby
Posts: 2308 - Karma: 13
thats soo good. that would totally make you feel better about your cheating skank girlfriend. give her lover the beating of a life with a cooking utensil.
You gotta want that cow bell.
-CCR-
IAN
'everyday should be a good day to die'
-Dave Matthews
Jan 17 2005 1:09PM
0 0
profile picture
hotchiksluvme
Posts: 73 - Karma: 10
i ope he put the spatula into the bitch pussy, then force her to suk them bith then kill her by burning her aliv. that al she deserv
Jan 17 2005 1:43PM
0 0
profile picture
J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,142
''Imagine 230 pounds of spatula wielding rage flying towards you.''

For some reason I'm having trouble forming a mental picture of this, actually.

------------
In a haze
A stormy haze
I’ll be around
I’ll be loving you
Always
Always

Here I am
And I’ll take my time
Here I am
And I’ll wait in line
Always
Always...
Jan 17 2005 1:46PM
0 0
profile picture
SkiBumDreams
Posts: 560 - Karma: 10
actually i might say he is kinda the one that got owned cause he sucked so much his girl was basically asking to be caught cheating on him. but then again a spatula beating is pretty good
Jan 17 2005 2:05PM
0 0
profile picture
BrandonCool
Posts: 518 - Karma: 10
He should have used his fist instead of the spatula!!!...knock his teeth out!!
S.W.E.D 420
Jan 17 2005 2:11PM
0 0
profile picture
yellav
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 1,217
haha imagine the marks on his face there like in the shape of a spatula like the 3 long holes and shit

--------------------------------------
'ugh i hate kids like you who always ski backwards on your double sided skis while im snowplowing'- NewSchool450

'ski boards are like communism, they are good in theory but in reality they just dont work well.'-winterkid33

'and I'm like fuck you guys, I'm going skiing (cartman style).'-davidh


Jan 17 2005 2:27PM
0 0
profile picture
punk_rider
Posts: 2327 - Karma: 10
if that was a matchette spatula, man! it hurts!
*******************



PUNK'S NOT DEAD!

RAILS SUCK!

POWDER SKIING RULES!

DEATH TO SNOWBOARD-ERS!!

BUSH WON!!
Jan 17 2005 4:02PM
0 0
profile picture
skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
Haha, at least I'm not the only one having a hard time picturing it. When I picture it, I see a happy-go-lucky fat dude running to a bake sale down the street. Who got beat, the ex? Or the one who kicked down the door?





----2ond in Command of DANSA-----



To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.



If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.



GW Award December 3, 2004
Jan 17 2005 4:12PM
0 0
profile picture
BillyMFBadass
Posts: 576 - Karma: 10
i would have slapped that bitch around a little too. its takes two to tango
wouldnt shit ya, you're my favorite terd


'i need to start doin some sweet grabs'-BJ
Jan 17 2005 5:20PM
0 0
profile picture
rugbydave
Posts: 770 - Karma: 9
yeah that cheating slut deserved a good backhand for sure... I don't believe in hitting chicks, but damn, I'd a been pretty pissed


be original, hate your government
Jan 17 2005 5:29PM
0 0
profile picture
SohCahToa
Posts: 1221 - Karma: 11
my friend jay lives with her boyfriend, a real funny guy. total dude. so he gets up one night to piss, and she was in the kitchen getting a drink. she thought it was someone breaking into their joint, its in a seedy part of town. she whacked him in the head with a cup. it shattered all over the place and cut him up pretty good. he wouldnt go home or talk to her for like a week
Jan 17 2005 5:40PM
0 0
profile picture
EastcoastAR5
Posts: 2721 - Karma: 15
i thought you were gonna say the ex was using the spatula on the chick haha and he got owned...but awesome story haha
word



L-MOB fo lyfe
Jan 17 2005 5:41PM
0 0
profile picture
mackinnon
Posts: 5153 - Karma: 161
BAHHAHAHAHHAHAH THAT GUY IS MY HERO!
*Laura*


my mom has like 15 prada bags........ ATLANTASKI

i've seen alotta real good bitches go down
Jan 17 2005 6:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Ghst
Posts: 5820 - Karma: 10
hahahahahha,thats why you should always carry a spork
___________________

We all smoke weed in our igloos, eh? Then we go and play hockey then eat poutines (I'm from a small area of Canada called Quebec) One month a year when there is no snow and some sun we go rollerblading - Markman
Jan 17 2005 6:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Pklink04
Posts: 5608 - Karma: 392
that has to be the worst conversation starter, so how did you get those bruses on your face? oh i was makin out with this girl who was cheatin on her boyfriend



If The women don't find you handsome... atleast they will find you handy

(Red Green)
Jan 17 2005 6:22PM
0 0
profile picture
Whitehead
Posts: 285 - Karma: 16
thats the funniest thing ive read all day!
----------------------------------------

Imagine 230 pounds of spatula wielding rage flying towards you - PowderCanuck
Jan 17 2005 6:23PM
0 0
profile picture
Ahmets_Brother
Posts: 20283 - Karma: 5,931
ahahah greatest story
member 9020

newbies are our future unless if we stop them now!

'dont fuck with me cause the last person that fucked with me....well they lived a pretty normal life'- misty7

'maybe i shold turn lesbien and get the girls'-misty7 'i can have sex with the snow'-misty7 on how winter will end his lonelyness

LOGIC HEADWEAR
Jan 17 2005 6:23PM
0 0
profile picture
skimack
Posts: 2458 - Karma: 33
he should have gone after the girl...she's the one who's cheating on him. Hitting the dude makes no sense, the dude probably didn't even know she had another 'boyfriend' and now his face is all cut up.


------------------------------------------------------------------
'Today I washed my shirt with my washboard abs. I didn't even have to take it off, I just poured water on the stain and scrubbed it on my abs.' (My little brother)

'I'm in his nigger crew' (my little brother in response to my statement that he was in my 'digger crew')

'My knee hurts' (Jeff Merat after grinding a lunch table for an hour instead of sitting in the ski patrol shack for his torm mcl and acl which he got earlier that day.)

'I'm not asking for any help, just maybe for you to get off your ass.'(my dad)
Jan 17 2005 6:57PM
0 0
profile picture
freeze_and_burn
Posts: 462 - Karma: 11
hahaha omg thats awesome! spatual...very nice choice.
»-(¯`v´¯)-»PëT®ø HoTt�ë«-(¯`v´¯)-«
Jan 17 2005 7:00PM
0 0
profile picture
PowderCanuck
Posts: 2626 - Karma: 10
^^ yea the ex knew that she was with another girl so he deserved to get beat. And didn't your mom ever tell you not to hit a girl?

And yes, it was a steel spatula. He was cut pretty good.



______________________



Screw this I'm going skiing
Jan 17 2005 7:18PM
0 0
profile picture
SohCahToa
Posts: 1221 - Karma: 11
it sounds like that schemin' ass bitch deserved a few shots as well
Jan 17 2005 10:04PM
0 0
profile picture
Sdot
Posts: 2289 - Karma: 15
Agreed with skimack, but rad about the spatula.





Sarah

Reppin' 907
Jan 18 2005 4:32AM
0 0
profile picture
Jake...
Posts: 11976 - Karma: 296
haha spatula slap hahahaha
Nov 15 2005 4:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Lateralis
Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332
oh man if i ever caught my gf making out with another guy id fucken show him no remorse whatsoever. id beat him till he was snoring and blood would be pouring from his eyes. then id slap my gf around
Nov 15 2005 4:22PM
0 0
profile picture
.John.
Posts: 6943 - Karma: 14
holy shit, your friend is the biggest badass ever
Nov 15 2005 4:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Ruski
Posts: 1872 - Karma: 11
should have grabbed a spork
Nov 15 2005 4:30PM
0 0
profile picture
bermbuster49
Posts: 7445 - Karma: 90
hahaha thats fuckin sweet dude, he better have thrown in a manditory chuck noris roll after he kicked down the door.
Nov 15 2005 4:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Forum*
Posts: 3455 - Karma: 10
Big question, why was there a spatula in this guys car? I guess if your into kinky untensel sex its ok, but a spatula?

And that guy got owned.
Nov 15 2005 4:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Norred
Posts: 3520 - Karma: 13
^
?
Nov 15 2005 4:48PM
0 0
profile picture
bermbuster49
Posts: 7445 - Karma: 90
he pulled it out of the closet i think he said he reached for a random blunt object and thats what he came out with.
Nov 15 2005 4:49PM
0 0
profile picture
Norred
Posts: 3520 - Karma: 13
he's lucky he grabbed a spatula. what if the first thing he grabbed was a hammer?
Nov 15 2005 4:51PM
0 0
profile picture
RustyPlanks
Posts: 290 - Karma: 10
If I was the ex I would would have shot him. Represent from the hood ya'll.
Nov 16 2005 10:45AM
0 0
profile picture
FERREZZ
Posts: 2234 - Karma: 19
hahahahah he should have done the mandatory chuck norris roll, as bermbuster stated
Nov 16 2005 10:50AM
0 0
profile picture
RedbAss
Posts: 352 - Karma: 10
Haha made me laugh!
Nov 16 2005 10:52AM
0 0
profile picture
quebecfreestyler
Posts: 13040 - Karma: 1,419
Funny, yet stupid, beating off someone for something like this can get you in jail pretty quickIt might felt good for the moment but it is still stupid. I have no clue about what I would do in this situation.

I guess tehre was a huge lack of communication from both the girl and the dude
Nov 16 2005 11:04AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)