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Sparked by the Ridiculous Rap Verses thread. Post whatever rap verse you think sounds so unbelievable that you need to share it. I'd just like to say Earl Sweatshirt is my all time favorite rapper, his lyrics are insane (for the content matter and lyricism)
"Bruising gimmicks with the broom
he usually use for Quidditch
Gooey writtens, scoot 'em to a ditch,
chewed and booty scented
Too pretentious, do pretend like
he could lose with spitting
Steaming tubes of poop and twisted doobies
full of euphemisms
Stupid, thought it up, jot it quick
Thaw it out, toss it right back like a vodka fifth
Spot him on a rocket swapping dollars in for pocket lint
Then lob a wad of chicken at a copper on some Flocka shit"
-'Whoa', Earl Sweatshirt
If that dollar crashes, niggas gone panic
What we gonna do? How we gon eat? Don't even know how to
Grow fruit, detached from your roots, nigga, me too
I'm doing drugs, fornicating and eating fast food
But I know I got three eyes cause I'm looking past you
-ab-soul going in with joey who has a ton of dope, creative lyrics.
also Kendrick's new album has some sweet shit and gets into it, the last verse in U is deep as fuck
Slob on my knob like corn on the cob
Check in with me, and do your job
Lay on the bed, and give me head
Don't have to ask, don't have to beg
Juicy is my name, sex is my game
Let's call the boys, let's run a train
Squeeze on my nuts, lick on my butt
The natural curly hair, please don't touch
First find a mate, second find a place
Third find a bag, to hide the ho face
Real name Rover, I said bend over
I started to knock, then came the odor
Smelled like mush, shouldn't had a woosh
Told her to stop, and take a dush
While she did that, I didn't want the cat
So I vamped out and never came back
Suck a nigga dick or something
Suck a nigga dick or something
Suck a nigga dick or something
Suck a nigga dick or something
Tripping with that drama, my Beretta's right beside me
One is in the air and one is the chamber
Y'all ask me what the fuck I'm doing, I'm releasing anger
Quick to dodge danger, I'm taking it one day
At a time, I got the fattest dimes around my way
You can sway with Andre, I'll take it to the Ho-Jo, bitch
Just let you know
"Niggas say I'm blessed, my bad I forgot to sneeze. Achoo." - Asap Rocky
"The seventh of September was my date of birth, I got to the clinic and I did the nurse, picked at the scabs till I made it worse, but I still spit your girlfriend's favorite verse." - Atmosphere
"I've never popped a bottle but I've fucked a couple models in Europe, yep and a couple of them swallow." -Tyler the Creator
"Money saved me so I'ma do the same thing." -Chance the Rapper
I Self Lord and Master shall bring disaster to evil factors
Demonic chapters, shall be captured by Kings
Through the storms of days after
Unto the Earth from the Sun through triple darkness to blast ya
With a force that can't be compared
To any firepower, for it's mindpower shared
The brainwave, causes vessels to circulate
Like constellations reflect at night off the lake
Word to the father, and Mother Earth
Seeking everlasting life through this Hell for what it's worth
-gang starr