Dennis_ReynoldsLets just push this under the rug and pretend its not happening ok?
I have bad experiences when I pretend things don't happen.
So this one time, I'm coming home from Utah and I wasn't feeling so good. I didn't eat much all day, but when I got off the plane in MN, I ate A LOT. We board the plane to go to Pittsburgh and I forget about it. I get off the plane, and I have a bowling ball in my lower intestine. I ran to the bathroom, but them I remembered how dirty the airport bathrooms are. So I sqautted above the toilet. The steaming abomination slowly crawled out of my rectum. I felt it drop from my backside. But I didn't hear a splash. I turned around confused only to see the gargantuan turd sitting on the edge of the toilet seat. And then it fell to the floor. You know the last scene in King Kong where Kong falls from the empire state building? This is what it was like. I went into panic mode. I couldn't fathom what had just happened, so I covered the mound in toilet paper. I pulled up my pants, and hopped out of the stall; I didn't even wipe. I then saw 20 people looking at me in horror. I turned around, and saw that they were able to see the disaster I had created. I tried to play it off and just say "aw that's gross. Who would do that?". The only reply was from an elderly man who said "Nice one buddy". I then eloped to my family. And I heard a roar of laughter as I left.
