Member of the Month

je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Anti Life-Hacks Ski Edition

profile picture
John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,168
I've been seeing a lot of these on facebook and other media sites recently and I want the people of Newschoolers to create some for skiing.



Example A:



Ski related example I made so you can catch on:

Dec 8 2015 12:03PM
694 94
profile picture
dadi
Posts: 449 - Karma: 972
Want to eat a snack on the hill? Buy a $20 burger!
Don't want to spend $20? Starve!
Dec 9 2015 6:46PM
2 1
profile picture
SkinnyPenis
Posts: 240 - Karma: 361
Cold feet?

Don't wear socks, they're just holding all the moisture
Dec 10 2015 3:20PM
1 0
profile picture
Thom4s
Posts: 213 - Karma: 1,079
Keep missing your grabs? Take your gloves off.
Rails too sticky? Try one footers.
Dec 10 2015 3:30PM
2 0
profile picture
JohnThatWasTits
Posts: 122 - Karma: 534
Evil
Dec 10 2015 3:31PM
1 1
profile picture
Lonely
Posts: 6870 - Karma: 64,404
Trouble locking onto rails? Carve out a arc in your base, just like aggressive inline skates. Never come off early again!

Edges catching on rails? Rip those bad boys out. Only racers use edges and they're dumb.

Skis not as fast as the used to be? Take a belt sander and sand them horizontally to re-align the base.
Dec 10 2015 4:08PM
6 1
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 52146 - Karma: 168,471
CHORIZOScared of hitting a jump for the first time? Just take it nice and slow


Isn't that how you're supposed to do that? I'm not old enough to hit the snowboard park yet, but I've been watching people and that's what most people do.
Dec 10 2015 6:37PM
5 0
profile picture
HAMNATION
Posts: 814 - Karma: 1,722
can't find the good snow ?


ask a friendly local
Dec 10 2015 6:47PM
4 0
profile picture
Pigeon.
Posts: 2367 - Karma: 3,998
having trouble with screamin semens? just don't uncross your skis! this will save your knees undo wear tear throughout your season

not skiing well today? put another tall tee underneath the 3 you're already wearing and you'll edollo all the way home!
Dec 10 2015 8:23PM
2 0
profile picture
Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,670
Anesteezia


Hahahahahaha holy fucking shit
Dec 10 2015 8:47PM
2 0
profile picture
brendonralph
Posts: 33 - Karma: 353
Can't find chads gap? Start at the bottom of Alta and head back to town
Jan 26 2016 11:15PM
2 0
profile picture
RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
Going to fast on the hill? Increase the gap between your goggles and ski helmet to increase wind resistance and slow yourself down.
Jan 26 2016 11:34PM
2 0
profile picture
RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
Feet too cold? Tuck your ski pants into your boots for more lower leg warmth.
Jan 26 2016 11:36PM
2 0
profile picture
daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
dadiWant to eat a snack on the hill? Buy a $20 burger!
Don't want to spend $20? Starve!


>good resturant on hill
>tip well
>???
>repeat
>larger portions
Jan 26 2016 11:41PM
0 0
profile picture
_69
Posts: 1774 - Karma: 4,982
schjfBrand new ski goggles foggy? Take a cloth and thoroughly wipe the inside.


I think you missed the point here.
Jan 30 2016 9:06PM
1 7
profile picture
gnar_whal
Posts: 1286 - Karma: 3,788
Want your skis to last? Buy J skis!
Jan 30 2016 9:23PM
4 2
profile picture
winniecash
Posts: 253 - Karma: 940
john18061806I


Example A:



fuck u i just broke my microwave
Jan 30 2016 9:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Pozzy
Posts: 351 - Karma: 794
AnGaperI think you missed the point here.


Nah you did, wiping the inside of your goggles takes off the anti-fog coating.
Jan 31 2016 1:21AM
9 0
profile picture
_69
Posts: 1774 - Karma: 4,982
PozzyNah you did, wiping the inside of your goggles takes off the anti-fog coating.


fuck
Jan 31 2016 1:30AM
4 0
profile picture
gperry1
Posts: 377 - Karma: 818
Lift line too long? Call in a bomb threat!
Jan 31 2016 8:23AM
1 0
profile picture
fries
Posts: 2978 - Karma: 7,522
gnar_whalWant your skis to last? Buy J skis!


I don't know what you're talking about.. jskis durability is fine imo and J has a really good warranty and customer service.
Jan 31 2016 1:13PM
2 0
profile picture
stokedelic
Posts: 1542 - Karma: 4,371
ski patrol caught you chiefin the reefer? act like a deer. its illegal for them to interfere with wildlife.
Jan 31 2016 9:31PM
10 0
profile picture
The.Fish
Posts: 2269 - Karma: 4,997
Can't afford wax? Melt some candles on your skis
Jan 31 2016 11:16PM
2 0
profile picture
michiskier23
Posts: 172 - Karma: 298
skis too heavy? take the brakes off your bindings
Jan 31 2016 11:32PM
1 0
profile picture
Malcolm
Posts: 15953 - Karma: 9,497
Goggles fogging? Cover your lens with masking tape
Feb 1 2016 5:34PM
1 0
profile picture
Sounder
Posts: 96 - Karma: 95
The.FishCan't afford wax? Melt some candles on your skis


I legitimately use household wax to wax my skis... It's cheap and works pretty good.
Feb 1 2016 7:46PM
1 0
profile picture
DirtYStylE
Posts: 3652 - Karma: 8,891
Kids making fun of your style? Pull out a JUUL
Feb 18 2019 5:00PM
3 0
profile picture
cpohl
Posts: 180 - Karma: 828
LonelyTrouble locking onto rails? Carve out a arc in your base, just like aggressive inline skates. Never come off early again!

Edges catching on rails? Rip those bad boys out. Only racers use edges and they're dumb.

Skis not as fast as the used to be? Take a belt sander and sand them horizontally to re-align the base.


How did you know the future?
Feb 18 2019 11:05PM
0 0
profile picture
bergobeanz
Posts: 264 - Karma: 962
Want to bee a kool park rat but you don’t know how to ski?

Join the new wave!
Feb 18 2019 11:12PM
2 0
profile picture
michigang
Posts: 521 - Karma: 1,206
Can’t nail a new grab?
Grab your ski BEFORE you pop off of the jump
Feb 19 2019 7:06PM
1 0
All times are Eastern (-5)