Family falling apart

AnesteeziaWell, for 17 years I thought I had the perfect, happy little family. We live in fairly nice house in the country with an amazing view, but I was just awoken by the sound of slamming doors and my mom throwing around the divorce word with my dad.

A couple weeks ago I was digging through a dresser looking for a photo album and I found several journals that belonged to my mom. It looked like diaries that her psychologist may have given her to write in every day. Most entries were within the last 2 years. Of course, I started reading through that shit and it wasn't pretty.

I learned that she has been struggling with depression and anxiety since 1996 (a few years after she married my dad). Throughout these journal entries, she often mentioned his arrogance, and his stubbornness. He didn't like to agree with her. She also wrote about divorice and how she just "can't handle it anymore". She even mentioned how my dad had been messing around with other women.

I recently posted a thread about my bad relationship with my dad. I realized that over time, I have often defended my mom when he accused her of stuff. I have kind of been on her side (rightfully so).

He goes out to eat and drink with his buddies late at night. and my mom keeps it pretty low-key. She doesn't like to go out much. So you can guess who may be getting into more trouble. I'm starting to think he's a pretty shitty person.

I just want some input from you guys. Im just lost. Looks like a divorce is likely. Maybe they have been holding off until my sister an I are out of the house?

Have you dealt with a divorice or major fights between parents?

SamtheEaglewhen it comes down to it they are both your parents and you have to unconditionally love them. Try not to take sides and devote yourself to do everything you can to make them both happy as well as your self. If they are getting divorced you need to be there for them and support them both even if you dont agree with it.

AnesteeziaWell, for 17 years I thought I had the perfect, happy little family. We live in fairly nice house in the country with an amazing view, but I was just awoken by the sound of slamming doors and my mom throwing around the divorce word with my dad.

A couple weeks ago I was digging through a dresser looking for a photo album and I found several journals that belonged to my mom. It looked like diaries that her psychologist may have given her to write in every day. Most entries were within the last 2 years. Of course, I started reading through that shit and it wasn't pretty.

I learned that she has been struggling with depression and anxiety since 1996 (a few years after she married my dad). Throughout these journal entries, she often mentioned his arrogance, and his stubbornness. He didn't like to agree with her. She also wrote about divorice and how she just "can't handle it anymore". She even mentioned how my dad had been messing around with other women.

I recently posted a thread about my bad relationship with my dad. I realized that over time, I have often defended my mom when he accused her of stuff. I have kind of been on her side (rightfully so).

He goes out to eat and drink with his buddies late at night. and my mom keeps it pretty low-key. She doesn't like to go out much. So you can guess who may be getting into more trouble. I'm starting to think he's a pretty shitty person.

I just want some input from you guys. Im just lost. Looks like a divorce is likely. Maybe they have been holding off until my sister an I are out of the house?

Have you dealt with a divorice or major fights between parents?

PeppermillReno(and can't really date or start looking for their next partner if they want the deadbeat husband to pay the mortgage and bills.)

MALEPRIVILEGEO my god your life is so hard. Who are you to judge your parents relationship? You are a shithead for snooping through her journal.

-MK-You are officially my least favorite member on NS.

I went through something similar recently OP, as did a lot of other people. Talk to your parents, trust me it will make all of you feel better. Don't jump to conclusions with either of your parents though, obviously they are both biased, and honestly subtly will make you want to turn on the other. Try to bring as much positivity into your house as possible, and just understand whatever happens is for the best.

Good luck OP

PoLaRpEaKI completely disagree with this. You don't have to love an support anyone, especially shitty people even if they are a part of your family. You can help them by calling them out on their bullshit and telling them to get it together, and if they are trying hard then you should support them. If they keep being shitty, you can tell them to go fuck themselves, even if they are family.

SamtheEaglewhen it comes down to it they are both your parents and you have to unconditionally love them. Try not to take sides and devote yourself to do everything you can to make them both happy as well as your self. If they are getting divorced you need to be there for them and support them both even if you dont agree with it.

AlsoKnownAsPersonally I don't think you have to unconditionally love anyone. That;s kind of bullshit in my opinion.

That said I'd be careful to just dive into things so hard OP and stir the pot. Hopefully things settle down a bit. if not, get your ass out on the slopes when you can. That can help with pretty much anything.

Good luck

MALEPRIVILEGEO my god your life is so hard. Who are you to judge your parents relationship? You are a shithead for snooping through her journal.

jordycat123listen up you stupid piece of shit, he's going through a hard time and would do what any other young person would end up doing in that situation. Obviously he's being put through a super unfortunate scenario, so cut the guy some slack and go fuck yourself

MALEPRIVILEGEHe's 17 and needs to realize that the world isn't a pretty little princess land. So his parents are getting a divorce, big deal. Maybe he should try loving his parents regardless of their private life. Being deceitful and snooping through a private journal is unacceptable. This new generation is a bunch of wet noodles with no respect.

Dont side with either parent. Love them both and support their decision to pursue happiness elsewhere. your mom has been unhappy for 20 Years apparently, be glad she is finally doing something about it. If you dads an asshole then just get over it. You have your entire life to think about, don't let the mistakes your parents made over the last two decades dictate how you live your life. The information in those journals was not for you to see. You made a mistake and whatever heartache you've experienced since reading those journals you deserved.

Now stop exposing your private life on a public forum.

MALEPRIVILEGEHe's 17 and needs to realize that the world isn't a pretty little princess land. So his parents are getting a divorce, big deal. Maybe he should try loving his parents regardless of their private life. Being deceitful and snooping through a private journal is unacceptable. This new generation is a bunch of wet noodles with no respect.

Dont side with either parent. Love them both and support their decision to pursue happiness elsewhere. your mom has been unhappy for 20 Years apparently, be glad she is finally doing something about it. If you dads an asshole then just get over it. You have your entire life to think about, don't let the mistakes your parents made over the last two decades dictate how you live your life. The information in those journals was not for you to see. You made a mistake and whatever heartache you've experienced since reading those journals you deserved.

Now stop exposing your private life on a public forum.