SlushAlso, very low self confidence. I don't even trust myself enough to take risks and be successful, I always assume that people will look at me and only see my flaws (because that's how I look at myself constantly), and I'm always afraid that people see me as an asset rather than a real friend... Or just pretend to like me just for anything I can offer them, be it car rides, company, or possibly being nice/friendly out of pitty and not wanting to hurt my feelings
You know, that kind of stuff
I used to feel the same way, still do sometimes around my college friends. I always felt like I didn't belong with them and I was the outsider, never felt like I was a true member of the group. It sucks a lot. When I think about it it really sucks that I went through 4 years of college and didn't come out with any good friends, and I was in a fraternity, which makes me feel worse.
As far as the way people see you, fuck em. How do you see yourself? That's what matters. If they can't see you for a true friend and only see you as someone that has something to offer, it's their loss. I realized that I met a lot of situation friends in college, still do. Those are the kind of people who you meet, act like good friends, but once one of you is not in the same place, the friendship basically ends. Sometimes that's shitty to think about but it makes you feel better that you don't think they're good friends either. Eventually one of them can become a good friend, that's always great.
