New Math tests for BC Schools
School Exams for the Various Regions of Metropolitan Vancouver
MATH TEST FOR HIGH SCHOOLS IN SURREY
NAME:___________________
NICKNAME:______________
GANG:________________
NAME:______________
1. Sandhar has half a kilo of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Ranjit for
$300 and 90 grams to Darm for $90 a gram, what is the street value of the
rest of his hold?
2. Tyrone pimps 3 whores. If the price is $40 a trick , how many tricks per day must each whore perform to support Tyrone's $500 a day crack habit?
3. Lo Ping wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for $7000 to make 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Tony got 6 years for murder. He also got $350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends $33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? (Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Tony get for killing the bitch that spent his money?)
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square meter, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Kwok steals Hareem's skateboard. As Kwok skates away at a speed of 35km/h, Hareem loads his brother's piece. If it takes Hareem 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Kwok have travelled when he gets whacked?
>MATH TEST FOR HIGH SCHOOLS IN WEST VANCOUVER
>NAME:_________________________________ (IF LONGER PLEASE CONTINUE ON
>SEPARATE SHEET)
>
>PRIVATE SCHOOL:______________
>
>DADDY'S COMPANY:_____________
>
>1. Julian smashes up the old man's car causing x amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his local MP to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y.
The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
>2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Hawaii and Chloe doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
>
>3. Jeremy has the hots for a certain number of chicks, but only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how is he ever going to screw the other two thirds of the girls?
>
>4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit into a size 1 Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 2 Dolce & Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?
>
>5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he likes women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks, and vacuums. However, he only has access to a hoover every third week. When does his newspaper column start?
>
>
>MATH TEST FOR SCHOOLS IN CHILLIWACK
>
>NAME:_________________
>
>DIRECTIONS TO FARM:______________
>
>ESTIMATE OF AGE:______________
>
>1. Jethro has $3 in coins. He is walking to the SAAN store which is five fields away. If he is losing an average of 25 cents an acre through a hole in his overalls, then how many outfits can he buy?
>(Hint: the answer is greater than five).
>
>2. Mary is one month pregnant. If she has been sleeping with her brother three days a week for the last six months, and sleeping with her uncle four days a week for the last three months, who is likely to see the back end of her mother's shotgun?
>
>3. Tommy likes to kill gophers with his tractor. If he is driving 10 km/h and sees four gophers within a two kilometre radius, what speed must he gain >in order to squash all the little bastards (assuming they can sprint back into their holes at 5 km/h)?
>
>4. If Artie drinks an average of two bottles of moonshine in an evening for thirteen years, but still manages to plough his field twice a week, how many times has he passed out behind the wheel and run his John Deere off the road?
>
> 5. The town schoolhouse can accommodate twelve students, with one student leaving every month to help out at the homestead. If three more students join every six months, how many graduates will there be at the end of a five year period? (Note: please do not look around at the other students at this
>point of the test.) [/B][/QUOTE]
QuickQuote
New Math tests for BC Schools
School Exams for the Various Regions of Metropolitan Vancouver
MATH TEST FOR HIGH SCHOOLS IN SURREY
NAME:___________________
NICKNAME:______________
GANG:________________
NAME:______________
1. Sandhar has half a kilo of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Ranjit for
$300 and 90 grams to Darm for $90 a gram, what is the street value of the
rest of his hold?
2. Tyrone pimps 3 whores. If the price is $40 a trick , how many tricks per day must each whore perform to support Tyrone's $500 a day crack habit?
3. Lo Ping wants to cut the kilo of cocaine he bought for $7000 to make 20% profit. How many grams of strychnine will he need?
4. Tony got 6 years for murder. He also got $350,000 for the hit. If his common law wife spends $33,100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? (Extra Credit Bonus: How much more time will Tony get for killing the bitch that spent his money?)
5. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square meters and the average letter is 1 square meter, how many letters can be sprayed with eight fluid ounce cans of spray paint with 20% extra paint free?
6. Kwok steals Hareem's skateboard. As Kwok skates away at a speed of 35km/h, Hareem loads his brother's piece. If it takes Hareem 20 seconds to load the gun, how far will Kwok have travelled when he gets whacked?
>MATH TEST FOR HIGH SCHOOLS IN WEST VANCOUVER
>NAME:_________________________________ (IF LONGER PLEASE CONTINUE ON
>SEPARATE SHEET)
>
>PRIVATE SCHOOL:______________
>
>DADDY'S COMPANY:_____________
>
>1. Julian smashes up the old man's car causing x amount of damage and killing three people. The old man asks his local MP to intervene in the court system, then forges his insurance claim and receives a payment of y.
The difference between x and y is three times the life insurance settlement for the three dead people. What kind of car is Julian driving now?
>2. Chloe's personal shopper decides to substitute generic and own-brand products for the designer goods favoured by her employer. In the course of a month she saves the price of a return ticket to Hawaii and Chloe doesn't even notice the difference. Is she thick or what?
>
>3. Jeremy has the hots for a certain number of chicks, but only has enough Rohypnol left to render 33.3% unconscious. If he has 14 Rohypnol, how is he ever going to screw the other two thirds of the girls?
>
>4. If Savannah throws up four times a day for a week she can fit into a size 1 Versace. If she only throws up three times a day for two weeks, she has to make do with a size 2 Dolce & Gabbana. How much does liposuction cost?
>
>5. Alexander is unsure about his sexuality. Three days a week he likes women. On the other days he fancies men, ducks, and vacuums. However, he only has access to a hoover every third week. When does his newspaper column start?
>
>
>MATH TEST FOR SCHOOLS IN CHILLIWACK
>
>NAME:_________________
>
>DIRECTIONS TO FARM:______________
>
>ESTIMATE OF AGE:______________
>
>1. Jethro has $3 in coins. He is walking to the SAAN store which is five fields away. If he is losing an average of 25 cents an acre through a hole in his overalls, then how many outfits can he buy?
>(Hint: the answer is greater than five).
>
>2. Mary is one month pregnant. If she has been sleeping with her brother three days a week for the last six months, and sleeping with her uncle four days a week for the last three months, who is likely to see the back end of her mother's shotgun?
>
>3. Tommy likes to kill gophers with his tractor. If he is driving 10 km/h and sees four gophers within a two kilometre radius, what speed must he gain >in order to squash all the little bastards (assuming they can sprint back into their holes at 5 km/h)?
>
>4. If Artie drinks an average of two bottles of moonshine in an evening for thirteen years, but still manages to plough his field twice a week, how many times has he passed out behind the wheel and run his John Deere off the road?
>
> 5. The town schoolhouse can accommodate twelve students, with one student leaving every month to help out at the homestead. If three more students join every six months, how many graduates will there be at the end of a five year period? (Note: please do not look around at the other students at this
>point of the test.)
