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How to live your life

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_Ryan_
Posts: 1538 - Karma: 3,192
So currently I am at the age where i need to be making life decisions and i am standing at somewhat of a crossroads. Would like to hear people's opinions and stories regarding jobs and living a happy life.

I'm 18, most of my friends are at university or college right now. I was a stoner through high school and kinda just didn't give a fuck, i grew up going through a Gifted program at my elementary school and early high school. Most stuff came easy to me but i was never an outstanding student, mostly just due to lazyness and lack of motivation throughout basically all of my schooling (gr 5 -gr12).

In my family I was always considered to be the "promise child", all my family and family friends praised me for my intelligence through my early years and held pretty high expectations for me (sorry if this is getting a bit narcissistic). So as a child and going into high school i always looked at myself as a business man, i ran little businesses my whole life starting in grade 3. In grade 7 I had a fingerboard business that actually got me some recognition online and i made a few thousand dollars (a big deal when you're 12).

Skipping forward... I am currently in a night school course trying to get a decent grade in Advanced functions. I finished high school with about a 65 average. My parents are dead set on me applying to university next spring and i have been going along with the idea. I don't have any plan and the more I look into business programs the less i want to take part. Visiting my friends in university has brought light onto the fact that university isn't going to be a whole lot different than high school (aside from broader social scene... More in depth assignments). As i said, i was never an extremely successful kid in school, but clearly was intelligent to other people.

I have this fear of getting accepted to a mediocre school just to spend 4 years scraping by to come out with a piece of paper that will get me a job that I'm not going to love for the rest of my life. I see the route my parents took and looking at them now, it doesn't seem to have brought them much joy in their later years. I understand the importance of financial security in this world but i can't get over this idea of working the same job with these insane hours for your entire life, only to turn 60 and realize you haven't really done much because you've worked through your glory years.

I've always had dreams of travelling the world, being a scuba diver and instructor,Climbing mountains and skiing down them.. Exploring different cultures and regions of the world. Just living that ideal life of exploration and adventure, And of course running a business the whole time as well.


Anyways this has kind of gone on a tangent. I am just stuck between living my life for my parents to keep everybody happy and living the dream i have envisioned. I know my parents are wise and are probably not wrong, i just have trouble giving in. Will i live my whole life wishing I had taken the risk and explored my artistic,adventurous side? Or if i go the other way... Will i live my life poor and lonely, wishing I had gone to school so i had tools to make money with.

TLDR: Do I go to school and make money or do i take a risk and live out my dreams.

Any stories or advice would be appreciated :)
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Nov 17 2015 2:44PM
28 6
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,484
Only you can make the decision that you will be happiest with
Nov 17 2015 2:58PM
1 0
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iFlip
Posts: 4543 - Karma: 19,132
Go to school. You could consider going to a community college for two years, really apply yourself, get great grades, and transfer to a good school. If you truly are "gifted and talented" you should be able to stand out in community college. It's the perfect "second chance" for you.
Nov 17 2015 3:09PM
10 0
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945
Only you can make this decision. I chose between going to college for engineering and doing one/two year film program. I chose engineering, and never looked back, though I did so without really knowing what I was getting in to. It sounds like you're interested in business, but do you know what a business program teaches you? Do you know about other business-related programs at universities? Other programs in general? School might not be interesting to you now, but you're learning the cookie cutter basics. When you go to college, you become responsible for what and how you study, which for many can be pretty inspiring. If you're seriously considering turning down an opportunity to go to college, you should have a good idea what you're giving up. If you're going to do so, do your research and make sure it's not right for you.

In my opinion, you should usually choose the path that gives you the most options. Options are analogous to freedom, and you can think of it as currency or wealth. Generating options is like investing wisely. It might not be fun while you do it and you don't have the currency on hand at the time, but the returns on that investment - the options - bring you freedom and (potentially) happiness later on.

One thing that I've learned that really calms me down during periods of serious doubt is that nothing you do is permanent. If you decide to go to school and you don't like it, you can always switch programs. You can always switch schools. You can always leave, if you feel that's right for you. And vice versa (if you choose not to go to school to begin with) - you can always go back to school, always start over.

When I started grad school, I suffered pretty severely from "imposter syndrome" (and still do); it caused a good bit of self doubt, and I was wondering whether all this work and effort was worth it. I felt stuck. However, I became unstuck the moment I considered the fact that it was a possibility for me to quit school, get in my car, drive to the Chevron refinery two towns over, and get a high-paying job as an engineer there. Just knowing I had that option made me feel so much better and helped me realize that my possibilities were fairly broad.
Nov 17 2015 3:34PM
1 0
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PoLaRpEaK
Posts: 439 - Karma: 555
iFlipGo to school. You could consider going to a community college for two years, really apply yourself, get great grades, and transfer to a good school. If you truly are "gifted and talented" you should be able to stand out in community college. It's the perfect "second chance" for you.


I only read the first half, but if your hearts not in it DON'T go to school. Try to make it on your own without going to school. Most importantly become completely independent of your parents. Move out, pay for rent, food, insurance, phones, cable, repairs, and everything else. DO NOT BUM off your parents because then they have EVERY right to boss you around no matter how old you are.

Once you are independent, you will be truly control of your own life, and probably realize after a couple years of working for $10 or $15 an hour and barely scraping by, that in order to survive in this world you need skill(s) and work ethic. This realization will prompt you into looking at your options, community college, four year programs, apprenticeships, trades school, ski instructor training, etc...

It is important to understand supply and demand. Retail jobs pay minimum wage because the supply of uneducated people is endless and it doesn't take a genius to swipe credit cards and stock shelves. Engineering jobs pay quite a bit, because it is an in demand skill that requires sacrificing at least four years of wages to learn, and investing tens of thousands of dollars. This prevents many people from becoming engineers so supply is limited and demand is strong.

University degrees are becoming less valuable, and you really need to pick a program you like, with a job demand after for it to make any sense whatsoever! I can learn philosophy from textbooks, free online video lectures, and chat rooms, so why pay $100,000 for a philosophy degree? No demand, and relatively useless. If you like it you can pursue it as a side hobby.
Nov 17 2015 3:39PM
3 2
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
Ya I hated highschool, universty is nothing like it though.

Your problem is you have gone through life with people telling you that you are smart and have found that if you don't try IN school, you would never actually have to find out if you really are. "Like ya I basically failed, but it's not because I'm dumb it's because I didn't try", sure bud. Even now you would rather go the easy route and not go to university, because if you can't succeed maybe you weren't as smart as you once hoped, but if you don't go there is no chanche of failure.
Nov 17 2015 3:57PM
2 0
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PoLaRpEaK
Posts: 439 - Karma: 555
_Ryan_I have this fear of getting accepted to a mediocre school just to spend 4 years scraping by to come out with a piece of paper that will get me a job that I'm not going to love for the rest of my life. I see the route my parents took and looking at them now, it doesn't seem to have brought them much joy in their later years. I understand the importance of financial security in this world but i can't get over this idea of working the same job with these insane hours for your entire life, only to turn 60 and realize you haven't really done much because you've worked through your glory years.

I've always had dreams of travelling the world, being a scuba diver and instructor,Climbing mountains and skiing down them.. Exploring different cultures and regions of the world. Just living that ideal life of exploration and adventure, And of course running a business the whole time as well.


Anyways this has kind of gone on a tangent. I am just stuck between living my life for my parents to keep everybody happy and living the dream i have envisioned. I know my parents are wise and are probably not wrong, i just have trouble giving in. Will i live my whole life wishing I had taken the risk and explored my artistic,adventurous side? Or if i go the other way... Will i live my life poor and lonely, wishing I had gone to school so i had tools to make money with.

TLDR: Do I go to school and make money or do i take a risk and live out my dreams.

Any stories or advice would be appreciated :)


I was exactly like this 8 or 9 years ago when I was your age. I went to University for my parents, fumbled around, failed a bunch of courses, got high everyday, heart wasn't in it, drank, partied, skied. Took some time off to work full time, found a passion, finished a degree and am almost done my masters thesis. My dream was to be a ski bum, now I'm a petroleum geologist.

Don't get me wrong my dream is still to travel the world doing extreme sports, and I am still grappling with this conflict. Should I put some real solid full time effort into finding a full time high paying career right now and get my foot in the door while my degree is fresh and I have connections, or should I risk it and use the money I've banked to live out of a Van for a year and pursue the dream, and risk going homeless when I'm back? My parents both retired in their early to mid 50's after 30 or so years of working 50 hours a week. They are having a great retirement travelling around the world and pursuing new hobbies. Looks fun to me! So I'm still on the fence!! I take it day by day, do my work, get rad on the weekends and plan sick trips for when I have time off.

You say you want to start a business? THAT IS A FULL TIME 60 hour a week job that you sure as hell won't be travelling around the world doing unless you are insanely good at something on the internet.

A degree is by no means a job guarantee, so don't expect to make money with that piece of paper. A strong work ethic and a good friendly outgoing personality is a job guarantee.

Anyways the job market is extremely competitive so unless your heart is in it you won't make it in any field!!!!!
Nov 17 2015 3:58PM
2 0
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PoLaRpEaK
Posts: 439 - Karma: 555
_Ryan_I have this fear of getting accepted to a mediocre school just to spend 4 years scraping by to come out with a piece of paper that will get me a job that I'm not going to love for the rest of my life. I see the route my parents took and looking at them now, it doesn't seem to have brought them much joy in their later years. I understand the importance of financial security in this world but i can't get over this idea of working the same job with these insane hours for your entire life, only to turn 60 and realize you haven't really done much because you've worked through your glory years.

I've always had dreams of travelling the world, being a scuba diver and instructor,Climbing mountains and skiing down them.. Exploring different cultures and regions of the world. Just living that ideal life of exploration and adventure, And of course running a business the whole time as well.


Anyways this has kind of gone on a tangent. I am just stuck between living my life for my parents to keep everybody happy and living the dream i have envisioned. I know my parents are wise and are probably not wrong, i just have trouble giving in. Will i live my whole life wishing I had taken the risk and explored my artistic,adventurous side? Or if i go the other way... Will i live my life poor and lonely, wishing I had gone to school so i had tools to make money with.

TLDR: Do I go to school and make money or do i take a risk and live out my dreams.

Any stories or advice would be appreciated :)


I was exactly like this 8 or 9 years ago when I was your age. I went to University for my parents, fumbled around, failed a bunch of courses, got high everyday, heart wasn't in it, drank, partied, skied. Took some time off to work full time, found a passion, finished a degree and am almost done my masters thesis. My dream was to be a ski bum, now I'm a petroleum geologist.

Don't get me wrong my dream is still to travel the world doing extreme sports, and I am still grappling with this conflict. Should I put some real solid full time effort into finding a full time high paying career right now and get my foot in the door while my degree is fresh and I have connections, or should I risk it and use the money I've banked to live out of a Van for a year and pursue the dream, and risk going homeless when I'm back? My parents both retired in their early to mid 50's after 30 or so years of working 50 hours a week. They are having a great retirement travelling around the world and pursuing new hobbies. Looks fun to me! So I'm still on the fence!! I take it day by day, do my work, get rad on the weekends and plan sick trips for when I have time off.

You say you want to start a business? THAT IS A FULL TIME 60 hour a week job that you sure as hell won't be travelling around the world doing unless you are insanely good at something on the internet.

A degree is by no means a job guarantee, so don't expect to make money with that piece of paper. A strong work ethic and a good friendly outgoing personality is a job guarantee.

Anyways the job market is extremely competitive so unless your heart is in it you won't make it in any field!!!!!
Nov 17 2015 4:00PM
0 0
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OregonDead
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 24,544
Don't know what it is like up in Canada but it might be a weird time to start school right now in the middle of the school year when ski season is about to start. People are starting to apply for scholarships in Oregon now for the 2016-2017 school year www.getcollegefunds.org
You could start mid year but you will not get all of the help you might otherwise be able to get.
In the long run you will probably want college but in the short term maybe hit the pavement hard and get a seasonal job.
Nov 17 2015 4:28PM
0 0
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DBack1321
Posts: 410 - Karma: 485
Do what makes you happy and absolutely do not let anyone dictate that for you. It's your life, do what you want to do!

I hated high school too. There was about a 7 year gap between when I graduated high school and went to college. It turns out I actually love learning about stuff I want to learn about haha. Your values will change over time.

Find something you love and learn about it. If that's not in a traditional "university", then so be it. You absolutely do not need a four year degree to be successful. That is complete BS.
Nov 17 2015 4:29PM
0 0
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
first take all the advice given here and make sure you understand that no one here is you...we all have the similar experience where we aren't sure where to go in life but that by no means implies you don't have full control.

The first question for you is... do you want to continue your education?
If yes...look into university that would fit your style of life and find a program that you are interested in.
If no...move out. Find a job that will allow you to live on your own and be sustainable (out of parents house/roof). Don't start a garden and compost and that jazz, but being able to buy food, pay rent, and do whatever you so please is a super relieving feeling and will allow you the chance to boost your self-confidence.

If you still have no clue what to do, maybe consider moving far away from where you are. Either a different country, or a different state if US.
I was really stuck a year ago, hated school and hated my life at home even more. I told the school I was taking a semester off, moved myself to UTAH, got hooked up with a job and lived with a girl who knew my brothers gf. After being out there for the winter, I figured out what I want from life and where I plan to go from here. The best part is, I wanted nothing to do with that 9-5 work life, and after talking to alot of people who do that and hate their lives, it just reassured my decision that after school I will find a career path that suits me. Not the other way around.
Nov 17 2015 4:29PM
0 0
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ianrich511
Posts: 511 - Karma: 723
If your GPA is not at least in the mid 3's, most of the colleges you WOULD want to go to won't take you. Going to community college would be good for you because once you come to terms with being a lazy fuck and quit, at least your parents wont be pissed you wasted a bunch of their money.
Nov 17 2015 5:21PM
1 0
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
Go to school now, what you don't want to do it travel till your 30 than have nothing to fall back on.
Nov 17 2015 6:41PM
1 0
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_____alfredo____
Posts: 1123 - Karma: 2,503
PoLaRpEaKA degree is by no means a job guarantee, so don't expect to make money with that piece of paper. A strong work ethic and a good friendly outgoing personality is a job guarantee.


needed to hear that
Nov 17 2015 6:51PM
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mike759
Posts: 879 - Karma: 1,971
dont tell me how to live my life
jk I didnt read it so idk if this is serious
Nov 17 2015 7:44PM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
I learned a lot in college and not necessarily what was taught in class. It was a lot more of a way of really truly defining how you best learn and how to go about thinking about the problems you face. You also learn more about how you yourself problem solve. I found all this to be seriously helpful in my line of current work and I am so outside my field of study. I went to business school and majored in marketing and now I am a brewer. I'm still happy I went to school.

Also don't worry about the "Glory Days". They're not a thing. Everyone gets so caught up thinking that things are going to be so much better at the next step and they forget that if they prioritize having a good time now they can. If you're not enjoying your job or your personal life it most likely is your problem. make a change and prioritize doing things that make you happy.

if you think now is the time to work and you'll have more free time and money in the future you're only going to make that a habit. Instead make having fun and fulfulling work a habit starting now.
Nov 17 2015 8:12PM
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Rusticles
Posts: 2180 - Karma: 1,337
My suggestion as I've been in your shoes once many years ago. If you don't know what you want to do for the rest of your life then there are other options. Take a trade, it'll provide for what you want to do now, it's pretty much free, it will also give you an opportunity for a possible future career. Basically it's like working but working towards something and it'll let you take lots of time off to pursue your hobbies

I have tons of friends and I a wife who blew a fortune on a degree and are now in their 30's doing something completely different.

Just my 2cents
Nov 17 2015 9:59PM
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ModMommy
Posts: 10815 - Karma: 57,158
I got kicked out of school because my heart and mind weren't in it. Take a gap year then decide from there.

Only you can make this choice.
Nov 17 2015 10:52PM
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_Ryan_
Posts: 1538 - Karma: 3,192
safarisamI got kicked out of school because my heart and mind weren't in it. Take a gap year then decide from there.

Only you can make this choice.


may have forgotten to mention that i am on a gap year now... Still pretty lost.
Nov 18 2015 11:46AM
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HAMNATION
Posts: 814 - Karma: 1,720
There are plenty of masters degrees out there that tune skis... Nah mean. I say just ride all the time while you can. You can always go to school later Get Dem Hundo day Seasons SOOOONNNNNN!!! Just my opinion.
Nov 18 2015 12:21PM
0 0
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solo.JAZZ
Posts: 3 - Karma: 39
https://www.newschoolers.com/videos/watch/794818/Cocaine-PSA:
how to live your lyfe
Nov 18 2015 12:47PM
0 0
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Drail
Posts: 14012 - Karma: 10,010
_Ryan_I've always had dreams of travelling the world, being a scuba diver and instructor,Climbing mountains and skiing down them.. Exploring different cultures and regions of the world. Just living that ideal life of exploration and adventure, And of course running a business the whole time as well.



Any stories or advice would be appreciated :)


Do this. Go travel, scuba dive. climb, ski, explore. If the only reason you would be going to school is to please your parents, it will be the worst decision of your life. I will never say "don't to go school" to someone who wants to go to school. But if you are going to school for any reason besides a genuine personal want, it will be a waste of money and youthfulness.
Nov 18 2015 2:19PM
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RRhighrider
Posts: 2140 - Karma: 1,124
DrailDo this. Go travel, scuba dive. climb, ski, explore. If the only reason you would be going to school is to please your parents, it will be the worst decision of your life. I will never say "don't to go school" to someone who wants to go to school. But if you are going to school for any reason besides a genuine personal want, it will be a waste of money and youthfulness.


Get off your ass and stop thinking about it and start doing it. You want to teach scuba, work on your certifications, so that when the summer season starts you will be set up to get a job.
Nov 18 2015 2:33PM
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PoLaRpEaK
Posts: 439 - Karma: 555
_Ryan_may have forgotten to mention that i am on a gap year now... Still pretty lost.


Stop doing nothing and start doing something!
Nov 18 2015 3:37PM
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DirtYStylE
Posts: 3652 - Karma: 8,888
You can always go back to school
Nov 19 2015 12:00AM
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